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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People are unclean nowadays!!!!!!!!!

210 replies

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 14:01

I have started a new job where I have to see and help people into work. I have been amazed by the amount of filthy, dirty people out there! These people are not disabled in any way and I get to know a lot about them and their circumstances. They smell of sweat, their hands and clothes are dirty (very dirty fingernails is common) and women's soles of the feet are literally brown! They are very unkempt and just don't seem to have any desire to be clean and fresh. Greasy hair is also common. Now I might get slated by some people but honestly, what has happened to people? I was taught to bathe twice a week making sure to wash everywhere, all the creases etc. Other days you have a good wash at the sink 2 or 3 times a day, washing under arms, face, genitals and feet! Do i say anything to them or could I be sued? How do you help people into work like this?

OP posts:
reallypuzzledoverthis · 04/10/2023 22:44

I have a feeling you work for a job agency, but to be honest I don't care where you work, all I can say is that you need a new job, away from the stinking drinkers of society which you seem to detest, maybe try self employment from your ivory tower?
Whilst hoping that you never have to feel as vulnerable and judged as the poor souls who come to you for work, shame on you.

greenthai · 04/10/2023 22:45

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ilovesooty · 04/10/2023 23:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

If you don't see why, I see little point in explaining it to you.

Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:28

TheThingIsYeah · 04/10/2023 18:46

Being skanky doesn't seem to be getting them jobs though.

I'm with you OP and I can't believe some of the excuses on here. Cost of living is the best one. How much does a good wash cost?!?

This place cracks me up sometimes.

Show quote history

The ones having a go are probably the ones i'm talking about!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:31

Notagreatyear · 04/10/2023 18:56

Are some people on here so stupid that they cannot understand some people don't have enough money to survive let alone wash themselves and their clothes? These pearl clutching idiots are a disgrace.

We are not stupid. The people I see do have enough money but they prefer to spend it on the wrong things then moan. That is the reality i'm seeing every day.

OP posts:
StrongandNorthern · 04/10/2023 23:32

Wow.
Some proper judgemental people on here.
OK asked for advice. Not sanctimonious judgments - especially about 'strip washes' etc.

Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:33

ScroogeMcDuckling · 04/10/2023 20:01

We have all met someone over the years, who didn’t want to work, turn up at the job centre fortnightly to sign on. A good week was no questions, get the pen and sign.

A bad week was to have to sit there and justify to someone who was “a poacher turned game keeper”, why they didn’t have a job.

Why would anybody want a job if they can feed their family from an allotment, the rent was paid by the dss, the council tax was paid by the dss, they didn’t smoke and rarely drank alcohol, their place was spotless, they could be there for their kids.

Occassionally, they would have to go to a course once a week, the only way to keep these sub contracted companies employees was to be totally disinterested, walk the twelve miles to the place, so you can keep the bus fare, and not wash the day before!

There is a thread on here at the moment where someone and her partner get £6,000 a month net and she is wondering if it’s enough - I’m not sure if that’s a fantasy thread or not - but are minimum wage jobs worth killing yourself for, when you are better off in some cases on the dole?

I agree with your post and I do hear what they say and sympathise but I was talking about cleanliness.

OP posts:
Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:37

HerRoyalStressHead · 04/10/2023 20:06

There's no fake excuses as you would know if you were ever actually in poverty. Or are you just saying that to make it look like these people are just lazy scroungers?

The point is their poverty would be reduced if they managed their money and prioritised things like bills and food. I do help them with this but to no avail. Spaffing it up the wall does not garner much sympathy from me particularly when I get earache from employers who don't want me sending people like this.

OP posts:
Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:42

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Exactly this greenthai. If they really couldn't afford soap then they could come in 10 minutes before their appointment and have a wash in the toilets!

OP posts:
bridgetreilly · 04/10/2023 23:43

Unemployment can often cause depression.
Poor personal hygiene is often a symptom of depression.
Join the dots.

Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:45

HerRoyalStressHead · 04/10/2023 20:25

No you don't. You just want to judge the poor smelly people. If you truly understood and wanted to teach them you wouldn't be on here calling them lazy wasters

When did I call them lazy wasters?? I just said that they could try and be clean particularly when mingling with other people. They could go in our toilets if there financial cicrumstances are so bad - which they are not as I know what they get and I know what they waste despite trying to help them manage their money.

OP posts:
Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:50

IsTheOffDutyDoneYet · 04/10/2023 21:49

@Sartre you do realise that many university age students struggle, mental health issues are rife, so it’s not just a case of can’t be arsed 🙄

OP. You’re in the wrong job. Some of the patients I visit have extremely poor hygiene and bad environments. All for different reasons. The trick is not to be a judgemental dick about it.

I know what their personal circumstances are, they are not university students, nor do they appear to have any mental health issues and I am trained to spot them. We have to signpost mentally ill and disabled people to different and more supportive services. I am primarily talking about the ones that can't be arsed and they do exist. This is my job and I would never talk about genuine cases of real hardship or health issues like this. Not being a judgemental dick at all!

OP posts:
Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:52

bridgetreilly · 04/10/2023 23:43

Unemployment can often cause depression.
Poor personal hygiene is often a symptom of depression.
Join the dots.

I am trained to spot these things and the people I am talking about are not depressed. Believe it or not, there are people out there that just do not care. I know all about their personal circumstances and some people really do just want to spaff taxpayers money up the wall....

OP posts:
Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:57

VeridicalVagabond · 04/10/2023 14:08

Get a new job, you're not suited to working with vulnerable, struggling people.

The people I help are not at all vulnerable. If they were, I signpost them to other services. You are incredibly naive if you think there are not people that play the system....

OP posts:
Notagreatyear · 05/10/2023 00:24

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:52

I am trained to spot these things and the people I am talking about are not depressed. Believe it or not, there are people out there that just do not care. I know all about their personal circumstances and some people really do just want to spaff taxpayers money up the wall....

Show quote history

You are not a doctor so cannot assess their mental health.

CoughingMajoress · 05/10/2023 01:46

Isn't it weird how many threads there have been lately containing graphic, lavish descriptions of dirty feet?

Add me to the list of people who want to know what job centre requires you to look at job seekers' feet.

ilovesooty · 05/10/2023 01:56

Anyone who talks in terms of "spaffing taxpayers' money up the wall" shouldn't be in a job helping marginalised clients. They'll be able to spot your opinion of them a mile off. No wonder they're resistent to engaging with you.

HerRoyalStressHead · 05/10/2023 06:20

"Spaffing money up the wall" yeah you definitely shouldn't be working with these people
Many mental health problems mean that people spend money on things to try and make them feel better. It doesn't work of course, but that's what they're trying to do. Hence the drinking. You're not trained to spot mental health issues as you're not a doctor of any sort.

MarathonBarbie · 05/10/2023 06:35

If you’re working for an organisation that’s not the job centre then I’m guessing you’re working with individuals who are likely long term unemployed, from workless households or struggle with employment for other reasons. To declare they have no vulnerabilities, and that you’d be able to filter them out if they did is at best naive. Mental Health concerns, low self esteem, confidence etc are all major issues which those working in this area need to understand, sadly in my experience many do not.
I’ve spent most of my working life working for a charity support people into employment. One of the best initiates I’ve seen is a set up where they helped set young people going for their first interview with a ‘prep pack’ - toiletries, a razor (the risk assessment was tricky!), nail file, access to smart clothing etc. That bit of extra support to help them with something that may come naturally to others.

Sure there are people who take the mick, but that really is the minority.

ChristmasFluff · 05/10/2023 07:32

OP. if this is real, you are a disgrace and you need to leave your job or get educated pronto. You should be ashamed of yourself for your judgmental attitude towards your clients. Yes, clients - you are meant to be working for them.

Your training seems to have left you woefully inadequate at making any kind of psychiatric assessment of anyone.

Go read about the Rat Park study before you blame people who have fuck all for using what little they have to escape their reality. Stop 'othering' the people you work with.

And next time you wash your nether regions, put on some less judgy pants afterwards.

Flopsythebunny · 05/10/2023 07:56

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 14:32

Honestly, they are not vulnerable or struggling. They manage to go out drinking every weekend!

Show quote history

And you know this how?

StowOnTheWold · 05/10/2023 08:33

@hellinahandcart700 A motivated person does not walk around scruffy and unwashed or feckless and lazy. Are you and your team getting appropriate training to motivate?

VeridicalVagabond · 05/10/2023 08:42

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 23:57

The people I help are not at all vulnerable. If they were, I signpost them to other services. You are incredibly naive if you think there are not people that play the system....

Show quote history

Why are you replying to me again? I've already told you what I think and have already told you I think you're in the wrong job and disagree with you on basically all points you've made. I'm not going to change my mind if you repeat yourself.

The people who play the system play it because it can be easily played. Be pissed off with the system if you must, but don't take it out on people who very well could be vulnerable, ill and struggling. Unless you're a medical professional you don't know by looking at them whether they're depressed or lazy, and it's not your place to drop blanket judgements on all just because you feel smug about your two baths a week.

Find a new job, or some empathy.

Thisisme23 · 05/10/2023 09:10

So @hellinahandcart700 It's your job to get these kinds of people into work. You're convinced they are not mentally unwell and by your own admission these people have been rejected by employers due to their un-cleanliness.
So as its your job to get them back into work - perhaps you need to spend some time teaching these people to look after their hygiene (you can't assume they know) Help them manage their finances so they dont waste whatever little they have - and can afford the hot water to have a "sink wash"!!!. Take some time to understand why their self esteem is so low they've given up bothering with their personal hygiene.
Instead of you wasting your resources ie time on starting a word fight on MN!!! Stop putting them into jobs they are clearly not ready for!!

Catza · 05/10/2023 10:13

TheThingIsYeah · 04/10/2023 18:46

Being skanky doesn't seem to be getting them jobs though.

I'm with you OP and I can't believe some of the excuses on here. Cost of living is the best one. How much does a good wash cost?!?

This place cracks me up sometimes.

Show quote history

As someone with a smart meter, I can answer that. One shower with 8.5KW Triton costs around a pound in electricity plus the cost of water and toiletries. A bath was around £1.50 all included in 2017, now likely double that due to gas prices. That's a whole meal for someone on benefits.