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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

People are unclean nowadays!!!!!!!!!

210 replies

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 14:01

I have started a new job where I have to see and help people into work. I have been amazed by the amount of filthy, dirty people out there! These people are not disabled in any way and I get to know a lot about them and their circumstances. They smell of sweat, their hands and clothes are dirty (very dirty fingernails is common) and women's soles of the feet are literally brown! They are very unkempt and just don't seem to have any desire to be clean and fresh. Greasy hair is also common. Now I might get slated by some people but honestly, what has happened to people? I was taught to bathe twice a week making sure to wash everywhere, all the creases etc. Other days you have a good wash at the sink 2 or 3 times a day, washing under arms, face, genitals and feet! Do i say anything to them or could I be sued? How do you help people into work like this?

OP posts:
Mistressanne · 04/10/2023 15:25

Every munsnetter who doesn't scrub themselves daily is dirty on MN. However if they mention someone else is unclean then that person must have mh problems and the mumsnetter is ableist.
But if an op says her dh is not showering then that's unacceptable and she should ltb.

Op some people are poorly and can't cope, some people are uneducated and have never been taught the importance of hygiene and some are just lazy and don't care.
You see them daily and are best placed to advise them that the prospective employer places great importance on personal hygiene.

Blough · 04/10/2023 15:29

I don't think the OP is developing critical thinking skills or empathy on the thread, she seems so angry.

BCCoach · 04/10/2023 16:13

Criticises people for being unhygienic but only showers twice a week herself 🤣🤣🤣

LargeglassofRosePlease · 04/10/2023 16:19

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 14:38

I've already mentioned I'm not judging anyone disabled. I would never judge you in that situation and not even expect you to work ffs. There is a huge difference between lazy people that can't be bothered and genuine problems!

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Even the way you write is rude.

I think perhaps the problem here is you and your attitude because I can smell it from here .

horseyhorsey17 · 04/10/2023 16:27

Blough · 04/10/2023 15:22

Thanks for the mental image of a seething right winger flannelling her fanny by a sink three times a day. 🤢

Bwahahahahaha!

ManateeFair · 04/10/2023 16:28

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 14:32

Honestly, they are not vulnerable or struggling. They manage to go out drinking every weekend!

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How do you know what they do at weekends? Are you stalking them as well as looking at their bare feet?

horseyhorsey17 · 04/10/2023 16:28

What job does anyone do where they'd see the sole of someone's feet? Suspect this thread is a wind-up.

LargeglassofRosePlease · 04/10/2023 16:31

ManateeFair · 04/10/2023 16:28

How do you know what they do at weekends? Are you stalking them as well as looking at their bare feet?

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Quite.

ilovesooty · 04/10/2023 16:43

I worked for years on employment programmes with a charity providing help to vulnerable and marginalised people. I'd have hated to have worked alongside someone who expressed the opinions of the OP.

icallshade · 04/10/2023 17:29

Everyone has their own standards, I personally shower daily and find bathing twice a week only to be 🤢

MereDintofPandiculation · 04/10/2023 17:51

How do you wash your genitals at the sink? My sink is higher than my vagina. I can't work it out! Have you ever heard of a flannel?

@CharlotteRumpling Why is washing at the sink (by which I think people mean the washbasin in the bathroom rather than the kitchen sink) gross?

Zebedee55 · 04/10/2023 17:56

madamreign · 04/10/2023 14:09

This is the Job Center, right?

It's been a long time since I was on the dole but why on earth would anybody make an effort, for that weekly humiliation?

I wouldn't have said being clean and tidy was a massive effort. Don't people want to stay clean anyway? I don't know about wash downs though. I grew up in the wash down/tin bath era lol, and it's not for me now.

A shower/bath once or twice a day is fine.🙂

WeAreBorg · 04/10/2023 17:57

I have had to travel for work quite a bit lately and more often than not have had to endure sitting next to someone who stinks. It’s either stale tabs and booze and/or general body odour accompanied with that noise they make when they sniff hard and it makes a horrible snort sound.
All men, all oblivious. If they can afford a flight they can afford a bar of soap and some kind of sinus decongestant

Desecratedcoconut · 04/10/2023 17:57

I had the misfortune of seeing how one woman washed her genitals at a sink when I went to the facilities at a campsite. For an old woman she was surprisingly dextrous.

Ponoka7 · 04/10/2023 18:07

SomeCatFromJapan · 04/10/2023 15:02

I actually don't think poverty is necessarily an excuse for being dirty. Where I grew up many people live in absolute poverty per the global definition. It's common to live in a single room with no electricity or running water. Water would be fetched from a tap, well or pump early in the morning and people then wash using a basin, flannel and soap. Clothes are scrubbed in rivers.

The only thing you'll smell is maybe fresh sweat as not everyone can afford antiperspirant. Only people considered "mad" would have a smell.

You're missing the point that water has to be paid for. There's no rivers to scrub clothes in and with our weather it would take days to dry, if not a week.

OP are these single people, how are they managing to drink on £368.74 a month, so just over £4400 a year? Unless they are in Frosty jack cider, which is an issue in itself. You should be asking your manager if you can tackle personal care issues.

HerRoyalStressHead · 04/10/2023 18:08

Seems you've never heard of addiction. Which in itself is a mental health issue so stop your judging and actually fucking help if that's your job.

greenthai · 04/10/2023 18:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 18:29

Mydpisgrumpierthanyours · 04/10/2023 15:14

Maybe they've come straight from work. I sweat like mad at work and often stink nipping into a shop on my way home.

They are unemployed.

OP posts:
greenthai · 04/10/2023 18:32

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 18:33

HerRoyalStressHead · 04/10/2023 18:08

Seems you've never heard of addiction. Which in itself is a mental health issue so stop your judging and actually fucking help if that's your job.

Employers don't want them!

OP posts:
Notagreatyear · 04/10/2023 18:41

What a horrible attitude. I feel so sorry for your clients. This is one of the worst posts I have seen. Lack of empathy is so awful.

spanishviola · 04/10/2023 18:43

hellinahandcart700 · 04/10/2023 14:47

It's not difficult or expensive to clean yourself ffs

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It can be very difficult to keep clean if you have poor mental or physical health. I think, if you are saying they can’t manage their money because they go drinking every week, they are having difficulty in coping. They aren’t managing their finances or managing to wash. That tells you something right there. Not all disabilities are visible, as I am sure you know.

TheThingIsYeah · 04/10/2023 18:46

Notagreatyear · 04/10/2023 18:41

What a horrible attitude. I feel so sorry for your clients. This is one of the worst posts I have seen. Lack of empathy is so awful.

Being skanky doesn't seem to be getting them jobs though.

I'm with you OP and I can't believe some of the excuses on here. Cost of living is the best one. How much does a good wash cost?!?

This place cracks me up sometimes.

Notagreatyear · 04/10/2023 18:46

Sartre · 04/10/2023 14:24

I’m a uni lecturer so I smell a lot of funky smells and see a lot of greasy hair, it’s very common. I doubt it’s a money thing, more a can’t be arsed showering thing.

I doubt you are a uni lecturer with that ignorant comment.

Gifgirl · 04/10/2023 18:46

MobilityCat · 04/10/2023 14:08

3 people think that you're being unreasonable, but don't explain why. I think that cleanliness at work is important, as when you're clean you function better. From what you have described I cannot imagine what their homes are like.

I agree.

Only bathing twice a week is pretty grim.

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