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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Project from hell at work- AIBU to resign?

132 replies

FishyTree · 03/10/2023 22:29

I have ended up being put on a horrendous project at work. It is actually being run by a related but different team (that I very deliberately did not apply to work in because of the working style and culture entailed in that area of work) so I have no idea why I’ve ended up on it.

It is awful- I’m being expected to complete tasks I’ve never done before with no instructions on ridiculous turn around times. I got an email at 8pm this evening asking why I hadn’t completed a task I hadn’t been asked to do and have just spent the evening working on it.

I am not sleeping or eating properly because of the stress of this project. I enjoy the rest of my role (the one I actually applied to do) but I can’t continue like this.

AIBU to resign?

OP posts:
Ponderingwindow · 03/10/2023 22:35

I wouldn’t resign, but I would start looking for a new job.

JoinInBetty · 03/10/2023 22:36

Email back cc your manager in that you had t done the tasks because it hadn't been given to you to do.
don't waste your non working time doing work

DirectionToPerfection · 03/10/2023 22:38

YANBU - it's not likely to get any better. Cut your losses and run.

NotSuchASmugMarried · 03/10/2023 22:39

Don't resign, just don't do any tasks you haven't been asked to do. An email your manager when you're next at work. And ask them to not contact you out of hours because it has an adverse effect on your work/life balance.

Daffidale · 03/10/2023 22:41

Before you resign at least have a go at getting taken off the project

Raise the issues with your line manager. Tell them you deliberately didn’t apply for a role on the other team because of these culture issues.

BungalowBuyer · 03/10/2023 22:42

NotSuchASmugMarried · 03/10/2023 22:39

Don't resign, just don't do any tasks you haven't been asked to do. An email your manager when you're next at work. And ask them to not contact you out of hours because it has an adverse effect on your work/life balance.

Presumably the email was to a work account so the OP needs to not look at her work emails in the evenings.

Original poster
FishyTree · 03/10/2023 22:43

I should say there is an expectation in my sector that you will work late when required (although certainly not to the extent expected of me in this project).

Another bugbear is that the people employed at my level in the team the project is for are paid around double what I am for the added stress and lack of work-life balance.

OP posts:
randomrandom · 03/10/2023 22:44

You respond to whoever sent the email with 'there seems to be a misunderstanding as I haven't been asked to complete this task, but I'll prioritise taking a look at your request tomorrow', you don't need to jump right then and there (and by doing so it looks like you have missed something)

And before you do anything as drastic as resign, you talk to whoever you report to in your actual team

NotSuchASmugMarried · 03/10/2023 22:47

Ah, didn't think about the work account.

Was it sent to a work email or a private one OP?

Original poster
FishyTree · 03/10/2023 22:48

@NotSuchASmugMarried

A work account. I have been told by the project manager that I am expected to check my work email in the evenings in case something urgent comes in on this project.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarried · 03/10/2023 22:52

Oh God, I couldn't be doing with that. Having to check my emails in the evening at home.

It's why I went self employed. I hope you find a solution OP but I don't know w what the answer is sorry.

Ihaventgottimeforthis · 03/10/2023 22:56

Don’t resign, why should you pay the price for shit management
Meet with your line manager, read paragraph 2 and ask for an explanation why you have been assigned to this project and say there is a basic expectation in any decent company that you get adequate training and good managements to enable you to do the job.
This is their failings, not yours.

and then start looking for work in a better organisation.

TheFlis · 03/10/2023 23:08

Don’t resign, set boundaries.

  • Don’t read their emails out of hours
  • Don’t complete tasks you have not been asked to do (and if they say you have, ask them to resend the relevant request as it has clearly “got lost in the email system”, a pattern will soon emerge)
  • If you are asked, within working hours, to do a task you don’t understand or are not experienced in, respond pointing this out but saying you are of course happy to assist but will require training in that specific area first and can they let you know when that will happen.
isthatmyage · 03/10/2023 23:10

JoinInBetty · 03/10/2023 22:36

Email back cc your manager in that you had t done the tasks because it hadn't been given to you to do.
don't waste your non working time doing work

This OP, now. Document everything via email to confirm what you have been asked (or not) to do .......oh and DO NOT RESIGN!! x

HowIsItOctoberAlready · 03/10/2023 23:17

I have ended up being put on a horrendous project at work. It is actually being run by a related but different team (that I very deliberately did not apply to work in because of the working style and culture entailed in that area of work) so I have no idea why I’ve ended up on it

I voted YABU, as in my view YABVU to resign without discussing the above first with your line manager!

Againstmachine · 03/10/2023 23:18

Don't resign they aren't respecting boundaries and are being unreasonable.

And for a bit of light relief watch loewhaley on insta she's good a humouring this and works lack of boundaries

Toodaloo

WhatsMyDream · 03/10/2023 23:19

HowIsItOctoberAlready · 03/10/2023 23:17

I have ended up being put on a horrendous project at work. It is actually being run by a related but different team (that I very deliberately did not apply to work in because of the working style and culture entailed in that area of work) so I have no idea why I’ve ended up on it

I voted YABU, as in my view YABVU to resign without discussing the above first with your line manager!

So did I

RandomMess · 03/10/2023 23:23

Also point out to them that your pay band/grade is half of everyone else so you only check emails during work. hours.

KrisAkabusi · 03/10/2023 23:29

Yabu. Why would you resign without even discussing it with your line manager first?

RubyRubyRubyRubay · 03/10/2023 23:31

You need to work on your assertiveness at work.

They are taking the P

CrapBucket · 03/10/2023 23:34

You sound so passive I’m not sure what advice to give you - this is so far from how I would react. You can’t just ‘end up’ on a project and ‘be told’ to work out of hours.

Passepartoute · 03/10/2023 23:36

FishyTree · 03/10/2023 22:43

I should say there is an expectation in my sector that you will work late when required (although certainly not to the extent expected of me in this project).

Another bugbear is that the people employed at my level in the team the project is for are paid around double what I am for the added stress and lack of work-life balance.

FFS, you need a meeting with your line manager first thing tomorrow morning to say that you didn't sign up to do this project for good reason and if they need to recruit staff for it they should do so and pay appropriately. Tell them you propose to return to your normal work with immediate effect.

SequentialAnalyst · 03/10/2023 23:53

Remain polite. If you find your voice expressing more emotion than is right at work, find a way to end the conversation, otherwise you risk the other person misunderstanding you and escalating things.

Find a trusted friend who understands this kind of work dynamic. And have a very thorough moan to them.
This person should not be one of your work colleagues.

ASCCM · 04/10/2023 07:01

These kind of posts are always funny to to me, like in what world do people quit jobs at the first sign of it getting hard / not going their own way??

Seriously, you’d last about 1 minute at my job! Why aren’t you being proactive in making it better / seeking help / making a plan to get shit done??

how, in this economic climate is quitting your job even a viable option???

SistaPB · 04/10/2023 20:21

You need to put some boundaries in place. No way would I be working out of hours on tasks that hadn’t t even been assigned to me. Especially not for less pay than the rest of the team. If you carry on this way they will completely take the p.

You need to call a meeting with your line manager and politely explain your concerns. You either need proper support and realistic expectations or to be taken off the project.