Project from hell at work- AIBU to resign?

[FishyTree]

I have ended up being put on a horrendous project at work. It is actually being run by a related but different team (that I very deliberately did not apply to work in because of the working style and culture entailed in that area of work) so I have no idea why I’ve ended up on it.

It is awful- I’m being expected to complete tasks I’ve never done before with no instructions on ridiculous turn around times. I got an email at 8pm this evening asking why I hadn’t completed a task I hadn’t been asked to do and have just spent the evening working on it.

I am not sleeping or eating properly because of the stress of this project. I enjoy the rest of my role (the one I actually applied to do) but I can’t continue like this.

AIBU to resign?

Have you had that meeting with your immediate manager yet? You could always start job hunting in the meantime to see what's out there if things really are so bad.
Just like a PP's DH and toxic working environment, mine has had exactly the same kind of treatment and came out in a much better job elsewhere so keep your options open in your favour, not the company's.

This, as long as they know you’ll do this, they will let you. Don’t read emails after your finishing time for a start. The following morning email back saying “ I didn’t do this because I wasn’t asked to, do you want me to do this, or continue with x, because I don’t have time to do both” and start looking for another job.

Excellent news.

Lesson to be learned here OP. 🌹

Spoke to my actual line manager today and said this has to stop now or I will resign. She has spoken to the project manager and clarified that I will not be responding to emails outside working hours or completing tasks I have not been shown how to do.

Project manager has apologised too for how they have behaved. It has been agreed that I will only be doing discrete aspects of the project going forward that relate to my actual role. My line manager has agreed to get me taken off the project if things don’t improve.

To clarify, I do work in profesional services and there is an expectation to work late when necessary. However, in my area of work you are certainly not expected to be on call all night on the off chance something comes in or complete tasks with no instructions.

The individuals at my level in the team leading this project are paid well over £100k as commendation for the above expectations.

Hope you get a better nights sleep tonight then, it sounds like your line manager is supporting you. Hope it continues

Good for you! I bet you feel so much better.

Like in what world do you not understand people's mental health is affected by stress at work?

Do you want a medal for having a stressful job?

And do you have any actual advice to offer or just want to flex?

You cant complain about stress at work when you haven;t done the slightest thing to mitigate any stress. You can't quit every job the second it gets hard, without any effort at all to do anything about it.
The advice is to not quit, obviously.

And you also missed my entire point, obviously

@FishyTree well done for having that difficult conversation, so pleased about the outcome.

Exactly what I mean! Moaning does sod all to help and quitting as the first form of defence is just madness.

at least bloody TRY!

I don’t need a medal thanks. I just need adults to behave as adults and actually make some effort to help themselves rather than quitting at the first sign of anything difficult!

Well done OP. This might also be a great opportunity for you to learn new things and progress in the future should you want to

good for you!

I agree with you, it's not black and white.

Happy that things seem to have worked out well for OP, but sometimes there are circumstances where the best thing a person can do for their health and wellbeing is to leave.

Easy for people who haven't been through it to claim it's weakness or immaturity.

Don't checky your emails after your working hours.
Just shut that laptop. If it helps put a timer on your phone so you do your hours. No more, no less.

From someone who's just been through a burnout. It absolutely sucks. Do not let work take over every ounce of your life with either doing it or the stress of doing it.
Look after yourself. Set your boundaries. It is so important.

If your work offers sick pay, that's good to note.

Definitely speak to acas. Ask for their advice. It's scary going in without knowing your rights.

Call your doctor. Call acas.
Look after yourself.

Go and do some exercise in your free time.
Definitely do not over work yourself when you're already feeling stretched. Bodies break.

Well done OP. Good result.

Great result, OP, well done. I'm glad the PM apologised to you too. A 'learning moment' for you all!

Well done OP, that's a great result. And how great to have a line manager who supports you!

Sounds like the project manager has been under the cosh as well if they have actually apologised.

Well done OP. It’s so hard to say no sometimes when the culture is to say yes. I always feel slightly guilty setting boundaries but work projects can be ridiculous in what they demand of people

How long is the project for?

I wouldn't quit over one project.

I would go back to the PM directly and explain why I hadn't done the task and ask for an updated list on what has been assigned to me to do with expected end dates. I would then go back to that email once digested and point out any I didn't know about and any that weren't doable with a more realistic time scale.

I'd also give my LM a heads up and expect them to have my back if there was nay push back.

See, I am always surprised at people who stick at a job through thick and thin when they are obviously unhappy with the working environment, and it is obvious they could get paid more somewhere else. I mean, sure if you like it or you really need the flexible work offer - but it's almost impossible to get a big pay hike without moving jobs.

I used to switch jobs every 3 years or so earlier in my career. I didn't deliberately set out to do that, but after 2.5 years or so, I'd probably learned as much as I was going to and if there weren't any good progression opportunities, I started looking around.

This

you may feel uncomfortable doing so, but you need to stand up for yourself. Are other people treated this way in the project or are you treated differently? If it were me being accused if not doing something I would have asked who had claimed to have done so. I would ask for a 1:1 and set out your case, with evidence of times, dates etc. To me, this sounds like either a form of bullying, or an incompetent covering their tracks and shifting blame