Project from hell at work- AIBU to resign?

[FishyTree]

I have ended up being put on a horrendous project at work. It is actually being run by a related but different team (that I very deliberately did not apply to work in because of the working style and culture entailed in that area of work) so I have no idea why I’ve ended up on it.

It is awful- I’m being expected to complete tasks I’ve never done before with no instructions on ridiculous turn around times. I got an email at 8pm this evening asking why I hadn’t completed a task I hadn’t been asked to do and have just spent the evening working on it.

I am not sleeping or eating properly because of the stress of this project. I enjoy the rest of my role (the one I actually applied to do) but I can’t continue like this.

AIBU to resign?

At the very least with the request at 8pm you need to point out you hadn’t been asked to do it so they should be very appreciative of the fact that you have done. But you can then use this as an example of the culture on the project that you have not signed up for.

I'm highly employable. So yes, I do leave jobs that don't suit me because I know I can walk straight into another one. And I do.

Sorry that this isn't your experience, but not everyone is you. Perhaps the OP feels confident of finding work elsewhere in a way that you aren't?

Go to HR or department head. Explain your lack of training for the role, the lack of clear instruction, and the pay discrepancy. Don't resign until you've given them a chance to put things right.

HR

also document

email manager stating you’re unhappy with specific project and can you swap projects

Study your contract. reply to project emails with ‘ I’m on x pay band and contracted to work 9-5, which I do. I can reply to enquiries first thing’

I got an email at 8pm this evening asking why I hadn’t completed a task I hadn’t been asked to do and have just spent the evening working on it

Why? Why would you do this?

So many things you need to pull back on.

Unless this is a massive career developing opportunity for you, which it sounds like it isn't, stop checking emails out of hours and stop doing work you aren't trained or paid to do.

If you're being seconded to a different department and expected to work more, you should be paid more or else you don't do it.

Plus the obvious answer to not doing a task you haven't been asked to do is, um, you haven't been asked to do it. Which you tell them tomorrow during working hours.

Are these urgent tasks genuine emergencies or is it more lack of planning or failure to respect normal working hours. If it's the latter, they sound like children who open their Christmas presents in the middle of the night because they're too excited to wait until morning.

Sounds like you're a pushover. People treat you the way you allow them to treat you. If this was me, I'd start by asking for relevant trainings and point out that I won't be checking my work email at home in the evenings outside of the hours that I'm paid to work.

You are being unreasonable going straight to thinking about resigning at this stage. You need to speak to your manager, look at your goals together, this clearly won’t be on them so ask why you’re doing this work. Walking out of a job completely without speaking about it isn’t the answer. Hopefully a resolution can be found

If the OP were that confident she'd not be up half the night completing tasks that have not been assigned to her and asking if she IBU on here. And if your skill set is so in demand you can just walk that would put you in the perfect position to negotiate better pay and conditions on your existing job wouldn't it?

You need to take a deep breath and step back. Is the work you’re doing a matter of life or death? I very much doubt it, so if someone has to wait overnight until you check your emails in the morning because they didn’t ask you to do something in a timely manner then they’ll have to wait, if it inconveniences them too bad, not your problem.

Speak to your manager and explain you dislike this project so much you were actually considering resigning, what can they do to stop that happening? They won’t want you to resign, it’s expensive to recruit new people and quite difficult at the minute.

Most of all know your worth, if you’re not happy then say so.

I think you should have discussions with your manager and/or HR but if that doesn’t get you an improvement or increase in pay, you could potentially have a claim for constructive dismissal. Also, do the other members of the team on the project happen to be men? If so, consider the possibility of sex discrimination.

You can in certain industries / workplaces. Eg City law firms where that is absolutely the expectation.

OP speak to your manager first before resigning and explain exactly what you said in your post.

Ok - first BREATHE. It’s ok, you aren’t sleeping and eating because your nervous system is firing off ‘panic - it’s not safe’ messages at you and so it’s hard
to think straight and it all feels much worse than it actually is which is why quitting(literally your ‘flight’ part of ‘fight or flight’) feels the best answer right now. It’s not.

First step is to regulate yourself. Look up breath work, go for a brisk walk, do 20 min of exercise to just deal with all the cortisol in your system. It going to be ok, really!

THEN

in fast paced projects, clarity on role and responsibilities, tasks and deadlines are critical - things should not be getting lobbed at you last minute and chaotically. This is not you not coping, this is poor management of a project and you trying to being responsive. The answer is NOT to do that but ask questions, put in boundaries.

Speak to your line manager urgently

• outline your specifics skills and capabilities and say where you can help and very clearly where you cant
• give examples of the demands of the project and the demands that are unrealistic and unfair, explain that you are not able to meet the demands for XYZ reasons
• give the examples of other great work you have done elsewhere that demonstrate your strengths and capabilities and just say they are not a match for this particular project or environment
• explain that the stress is really impacting your mental health and that you need support please.

see how this conversation goes and get some specific phrases to use to push back, create clarity, and turn down.
an example might be:
’this email is the first time I have heard of this task, I will make it a priority first thing but we also need understand why this is only just reaching me now, look forward to discussing in the morning’

hope this helps - do ignore all the people shaming and eye rolling up thread - it’s not helpful and very unhelpful when you are utterly overwhelmed. You’ve got this, just get regulated first!

What has your line manager said or done about it? If your mine manager doesn't have the power to take you off the project, or has not done anything despite you giving the reasons above, then you need to go higher and involve HR. Also, unless you are being paid for on call hours you don't need to check work emails at night. The "project manager" (who's obviously terrible at managing projects) isn't your line manager.

It depends how long it’s going to last, and how easy it is to find another job in your sector.

If it’s going to be a year or less, and overall you like your job, then I’d try and get myself taken off it without causing career damage - and if that failed I’d try and manage it.

If you aren’t being told what you are supposed to do and management is a shit show, then keep a log of what’s going on, and then go to HR and your manager with a plan of how you want things done differently. Also a work coach can be really useful to navigate situations like this to avoid burnout.

Basically you need to provide more context to get useful advice.

This is top advice

This, on the other hand is ludicrous advice from someone who doesn’t have a clue of what it’s like to work in your kind of environment.

Do ignore the people who clearly don’t understand where you are at OP.

This is sound common sense.

It is unreasonable to be expected to do something you have no training for.

Brilliant post from @Shuzzazall. Follow their advice to the letter. And don't feel bad about it. They are trying to get cheap labour, probably because other people have got fed up with working in that kind of culture and voted with their feet.

I guess it depends where you see yourself "going" in this job.
The people who do the late-night difficult tasks tend to be the ones who get the promotions later.

Bloody project managers and I say this as someone who was one and who now heads up a change department. It attracts a certain kind of person, often people pleasers who will work themselves into the ground. Doesn’t mean you have to, don’t get swept up in their drama and faux urgency. What will they actually do if you don’t check emails at night. Nothing. Say no I can’t do that and wait for the sky to fall in - it won’t.

I’m in the same position as you OP. On a project that has nothing to do with my job role due to lack of staff. It been extremely stressful. The only difference is the people around me have been very helpful and accommodating. - also very appreciative of my efforts which really helps .

Your team shouldn’t be adding extra pressure and stress to you already high work load. Please speak to Hr and ensure they document everything that’s been happening.

Not if you aren’t that kind of person. There are lots of people who are fab at their jobs and could get another one but spend their days in a spiral of doubt in their current role about their abilities and for whom impostor syndrome is ever present. It’s about your inner voice nothing to do with how good or not you are at the job.

What would happen if you responded to the unreasonable requests with the truth? Tell them you were not asked to complete the tasks. Tell them you require instruction as the sideways move means you’re working in an area unknown to you. What would happen if you robustly advocated for yourself to the people making unreasonable demands?

But yeah, start job hunting. The culture sounds fucking awful.

Some of this advice is laughable. If OP works in a job where she is sometimes expected to work evenings, it’s likely that expectation is there because she’s in a well paid role in professional services. Working evenings, at least sometimes, is par for the course in that environment.

HR will also not care about this issue, it will just be seen as griping from OP, and potentially mark her out as “difficult”.

The sensible advice already given is to push back factually, pointing out if tasks have not been previously allocated to you, and that you’ll therefore pick them up the following morning.