Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't know how anyone could find life interesting

127 replies

Worriedsister223 · 03/10/2023 16:41

Life's such a boring journey. Working all the time just to cover the bills and if youre lucky get a week holiday a year to somewhere with slightly better weather. every day is basically the same. Get up, work, go home and sleep. Yes you can have hobbies and I do but again, same thing each week. What's the point really? Year in year out celebrating the same occasions. Don't want kids, can't even get into in this post just how dull I find them. Having to go to a playgroup Sounds like my idea of hell. I just kind of wonder what is the point to all of this and kind of dread having to do it every day for the next 50 years because it's just so boring and repetitive.

OP posts:
ToadOnTheHill · 03/10/2023 18:19

I kind of feel like youre making fun of me here, I'm not sure if you are.
I can't just move abroad tomorrow, I choose have a job and a mortgage.

^dont be such a wet passenger in life.

autiebooklover · 03/10/2023 18:19

Quit your job, sell your house and travel the world.

Robinni · 03/10/2023 18:28

Worriedsister223 · 03/10/2023 16:52

I kind of feel like youre making fun of me here, I'm not sure if you are.
I can't just move abroad tomorrow, I have a job and a mortgage.

Show quote history

@Worriedsister223

Apply for a job elsewhere, or save up to go travelling. Rent out your house to cover the mortgage while you’re gone.

Try and broaden your horizons, take some time to figure out what would make you happy in life - a career you would enjoy, different location/way of life, romantic fulfilment, volunteering.

There’s so much! It sounds like you are stuck in a rut, bored and depressed.

Get yourself out of it, find new friends, have more sex, go and see the world and find things you are passionate about.

1month · 03/10/2023 18:32

What job do you do OP?

Do you enjoy it?

vibecheck · 03/10/2023 18:40

You need to work out what you find interesting. And then do it! Eg. I was feeling a bit like that at the start of this year, and I decided I was going to try wild swimming. I am not sporty and not a strong swimmer so this was pretty out of the ordinary for me, but I love it! I go most weeks now and it’s become a brilliant physical and social activity for me, and has really revitalised week night evenings which I was getting into a bad Netflix-and-bed routine with. I also have other hobbies I pursue on the weekend, and my husband and I are very good at going - “we’re getting bored, let’s do something different this evening!” even if it’s just something low key indoors like playing a board game or having a really extravagant week night dinner.

Now, you might find those things boring but my point isn’t the specific activities - it’s the finding things to do that aren’t boring for you and peppering your week with them! Big things and little. I do think this is easier if you have a partner who really is your best friend, because I find that every day isn’t boring when I’m just chatting with my husband because we’ve always had such interesting conversations about random things, that even that keeps life interesting. A friend sometimes says that we’re like a private podcast!

It’s a mindset shift - don’t focus on what’s boring, focus on what isn’t and amplify that.

CherrySocks · 03/10/2023 18:41

You can change your hobbies if they are boring.

What sort of things did you used to enjoy in the past?

PettyMare · 03/10/2023 18:41

you get out of life what you put in. Sounds like you're just sitting around waiting for something exciting to happen to you instead if actively going out or searching out opportunities to enjoy life.

Tumbleweed101 · 03/10/2023 18:42

I feel a bit this way right now but I've had a tough couple years emotionally. Dad went through cancer treatment all last year, went into remission early Dec. Then my mum passed away in Jan.

I feel trapped as my youngest has just started GCSEs so I can't make any big changes. As a single parent I have no choice but to keep working in a low paid job. I have some problems with my knees so I'm in quite a bit of pain.

I often just look ahead and wonder what on earth the point is as I feel I haven't got the means to improve things. Money doesn't buy happiness but it's sure nice to have it to stop the constant background worry and to maybe plan some fun things.

So I definitely understand that feeling of what is the point.

Cordeliathecat · 03/10/2023 18:43

TimeForTeaAndG · 03/10/2023 16:45

I guess it depends on your outlook. If you view everything negatively "what's the point...dull...dread...repetitive" then of course life feels like it sucks.

If you're only just covering bills and scraping together for a week's holiday that's never going to enable you to actually enjoy life.

Is this just the way you always see things or is it age/mental health related?

Oops, quoted wrong post

Canisaysomething · 03/10/2023 18:44

Life has a lot more meaning when you bring others happiness and those people need you. If you aren’t needed by anyone then life gets very dull. If you don’t want children then volunteer and become needed and bring others joy that way.

Gnomegnomegnome · 03/10/2023 18:48

Life is as exciting or as boring as you want it to be especially with no children.

Why can’t you change jobs? Retrain? Move? What is stopping you from living a more exciting life?

Gnomegnomegnome · 03/10/2023 18:48

Have you read the midnight library?

Ange1233556 · 03/10/2023 18:48

My mum used to tell us when we were young and moaning about being bored that only boring people get bored … harsh but fair. If I didn’t have kids I would either be top of my career and have the cash to do all the stuff I wanted to do or I would have just gone travelling / working as I went ! Before having kids I had fun all the time from when I was a poor student to a wealthier adult. It’s not all about money. My kids are young so their fun / happiness tends to trump mine at the moment!

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/10/2023 18:50

Eyesopenwideawake · Today 16:54

CharlotteRumpling · Today 16:49

The thing is, as a British person ( I assume), you have one of the most powerful passports in the world. You could move somewhere exciting, as pp suggested. A privilege that other passport holders do not have.
**
I presume you're aware of the restrictions imposed by Brexit??

^THIS

WrongSwanson · 03/10/2023 18:52

I'd recommend volunteering, I've had so many interesting and new experiences through volunteering. There are so many different ways you can do this, something for everyone.

CharlotteRumpling · 03/10/2023 18:53

MrsSkylerWhite · 03/10/2023 18:50

Eyesopenwideawake · Today 16:54

CharlotteRumpling · Today 16:49

The thing is, as a British person ( I assume), you have one of the most powerful passports in the world. You could move somewhere exciting, as pp suggested. A privilege that other passport holders do not have.
**
I presume you're aware of the restrictions imposed by Brexit??

^THIS

I did respond to that @MrsSkylerWhite. It's still true. As people would know if they ever had a less powerful passport like Somali or Pakistani.

Dillydollydingdong · 03/10/2023 18:54

Try going to a pub locally that has live music. Different bands play different genres so choose one you like. People chat and dance. It's great fun!

Ylvamoon · 03/10/2023 18:56

@Worriedsister223 - What do you consider exiting or worth your time?

I think many of us are in a boring but steady Eddie kind of life, and it's really hard to change that.

But you can do little changes... new hobbies, new job or even a new home?

StripedElephant · 03/10/2023 18:56

I have felt like this for periods in the past, but I realised the only person who could change it was me.

DC’s are older teens now, so for us the drudgery of work, swimming lessons, footballs games, shopping, housework repeat are over.

I always try to have something in the calendar to look forward to. We have a mix of concerts, comedians, an opera, theatre etc. We try and go for a Sunday roast in a nice pub once a month and breakfast once a month, or sometimes just a scone in a garden centre.

We try and book 2 city breaks a year when the easyJet flights come out so they are fairly cheap, as well as an annual family holiday.

It is DH dream to take a sabbatical from work and go travelling around Europe in a camper van, so we are planning towards that in 10 years or so.

Have a think OP. I’m sure there must be things you can add to your like to make it more enjoyable.

Tinytigertail · 03/10/2023 19:29

wordler · 03/10/2023 17:47

Sounds like you're in the middle of a classic existential internal debate.

You are in excellent company @Worriedsister223 so many great minds have studied and pondered on the purpose of our day in and day out repetitive but fairly short exisitence.

"In the twentieth century, Heidegger held that the meaning of life is to live authentically or (alternatively) to be a guardian of the earth. Sartre espoused the view that life is meaningless but urged us nonetheless to make a free choice that would give our lives meaning and responsibility.

Camus also thought that life is absurd and meaningless. The best way to cope with this fact, he held, is to live life with passion, using everything up, and with an attitude of revolt, defiance, or scorn.

William James held that life is meaningful and worth living because of a spiritual order in which we should believe, or else that it is meaningful when there is a marriage of ideals with pluck, will, and the manly virtues;

Bertrand Russell argued that to live a meaningful life one must abandon private and petty interests and instead cultivate an interest in the eternal; Moritz Schlick argued that the meaning of life is to be found in play; and A. J. Ayer asserted that the question of the meaning of life is itself meaningless."

I think in modern times most people boil it down to:

  • Give your life a higher purpose by choosing to focus on something bigger outside your individual self - can be religion for some, can be an achievement of some sort that takes a lot of effort (climb Everest, ultra marathons), or a noble cause (finding a cure for disease, rasing money for charity, getting laws changed).
  • Nurturing the next generation and having part of you travel forward through time with that - having children but also works for childfree people who nurture children some way in their jobs
  • Being part of the future through something you create that lasts and impacts future generations - artists, writers, film makers etc
  • Finding joy in day to day life by either making changes, or reframing how you feel about what you are currently doing.

Most of us are getting by with a combination of the above.

Edited

What a great post! You've said exactly what I wanted to say but far more eloquently than I could have!

Mamai90 · 03/10/2023 19:33

You haven't said whether you've always felt like this?

I do think having such a negative outlook isn't good for your mental health.

CasaAmarela · 03/10/2023 19:36

Boundoverbyacat · 03/10/2023 16:43

Without meaning to be rude it sounds like you might be the boring bit in this equation.

What do you want to do with your life?

Why do you think there needs to be a point to life?

This. You won't have children so you must have free time? BTW maybe I am reading it wrong but it does come across like you look down on people with children.

I do find life repetitive but I'm never bored. I just wish there were more hours in the day to explore my interests so I try to combine activities while I can ie listening to educational videos/podcasts while I clean or reading while I commute.

5128gap · 03/10/2023 19:43

My answer to this was to find a job I love, so almost every working day holds something interesting and worthwhile with colleagues who are fun. It came with a price, as I'll never be wealthy. But I'm never bored.
I also think if the celebrations and leisure things most people are lifted by aren't working for you, unless you are depressed, then it probably means you're doing them with the wrong people. The right people make anything enjoyable, and the wrong ones makes the best things a chore.

BridgetJonesAsFuck · 03/10/2023 19:46

I love how people think not having family ties means you can jump off the property ladder, kiss goodbye to financial stability and fuck off to live on a beach instead.

OP same here I don't have kids and never wanted them. Don't have or want a glittering career either. So I made the most of not having childcare fees and dropped a working day. That extra day gives me leisure time to just try and enjoy my life. For me that just means not being around people and getting out in nature. Time for more exercise. Hobbies don't have to be jumping out of planes and painting pictures etc.

Do you like food? Perhaps google a few new recipes? What makes you laugh? Any type of animal? Find some videos on YouTube to watch. I'm not saying these little things will totally enrich your life but they might cheer you up a bit :-)

HongKongGarden · 03/10/2023 19:47

CharlotteRumpling · 03/10/2023 18:53

I did respond to that @MrsSkylerWhite. It's still true. As people would know if they ever had a less powerful passport like Somali or Pakistani.

Show quote history

It’s a bizarre point to try to make, this suggestion that post-Brexit the British can’t work and live abroad.

Leaving aside the fact that there are literally hundreds of other countries or that we can still work and live in the EU if we get the appropriate visas, it was never actually the case that while in the EU we had absolute freedom to pitch-up where we wanted and stay there indefinitely.