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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I don't know how anyone could find life interesting

127 replies

Worriedsister223 · 03/10/2023 16:41

Life's such a boring journey. Working all the time just to cover the bills and if youre lucky get a week holiday a year to somewhere with slightly better weather. every day is basically the same. Get up, work, go home and sleep. Yes you can have hobbies and I do but again, same thing each week. What's the point really? Year in year out celebrating the same occasions. Don't want kids, can't even get into in this post just how dull I find them. Having to go to a playgroup Sounds like my idea of hell. I just kind of wonder what is the point to all of this and kind of dread having to do it every day for the next 50 years because it's just so boring and repetitive.

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 03/10/2023 17:10

The daily grind is boring but if you can't find anything at all in life that you enjoy you should consider the possibility that this is depression and make an appointment with your GP

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 03/10/2023 17:10

It sounds like you feel your life lacks purpose? I went to a talk recently and heard people talk about the myth of this big purpose in our lives and our big journey. Instead, it makes more sense to enjoy the every day and look for joy in the little things.

Totally agree. I don't want a purpose! Purpose = pressure to achieve things.

CharlotteRumpling · 03/10/2023 17:11

WishIWasWise · 03/10/2023 17:04

Don’t feel pressured by anyone suggesting that you give up your financial stability to go and do a wild adventure. Of course you have to think about your old age. And wild adventures don’t tend to pay financially (and sometimes also require a niche set of skills and years of training).

But can treat yourself to things that are more local and doable. A night in a fancy hotel, for example.

Personally I could never get bored of London. There is always something to do-often free- if you are within travellling distance. Or any of the other big cities, though I have less experience of those.

I don't need to do wild adventures, though I have in the past. I can just go to the V and A.

roarrfeckingroar · 03/10/2023 17:11

You sound depressed.

I genuinely get excited when I wake up of a morning to see my children, exercise, cook nice things, go out with friends, work... life is amazing

Newusernameforthiss · 03/10/2023 17:11

Yeah, so sounds like: either you're depressed

Or

Nobody says you HAVE to work/get a mortgage/stay in shape. Sack it all off, go live abroad, take mind altering substances, have wild crazy sex, see how you get in?

Halfway suggestion: go and work on a yacht/ski chalet/something like that where you live at work and the money is shit cause it's actually quite fun?

YukoandHiro · 03/10/2023 17:13

OP why do you have a mortgage and the job you have if neither bring you joy?
You urgently need to make a change. You have no obligations, which is a wonderful position to be in. Rent out your house and travel (rent is so high at the moment you may even be able to live on the difference rent and mortgage repayments); retrain and change careers to something that inspires you; start some new friendship groups that give you energy.
Who or wait is draining you? Does anything bring you moments of joy?
You need to start looking into this now or you will waste the next 50 years and you only get one life

ActDottie · 03/10/2023 17:29

I think you need to find a job you enjoy more and perhaps a different hobby? I know I certainly don’t find my hobbies repetitive.

Chickenkeev · 03/10/2023 17:31

We're all different, and life is a slog, but there's no denying it's fascinating. Watching a kid growing up, watching politics, watching life going by outside the window. It's all fascinating. Even MN is a fascinating microcosm of society that is v enjoyable!

ntmdino · 03/10/2023 17:38

Worriedsister223 · 03/10/2023 16:52

I kind of feel like youre making fun of me here, I'm not sure if you are.
I can't just move abroad tomorrow, I have a job and a mortgage.

You absolutely could - maybe not tomorrow, but in as long as it takes to sell your house. Depends how much equity you've got in it, of course, but half the cost of a house in the UK could set you up for life in quite a few other countries where life is very, very different.

As for life being boring...it's what you make of it. Sure, if you just work and then rest in front of the TV so that you can work again...yeah, that's pretty boring. But you can also make things, the tools exist to build pretty much anything you can dream up in your head these days. You can help people if you want to find some meaning in your life. You could just go to the nearest train station, pick some trains by rolling dice and see where you end up.

vlo · 03/10/2023 17:40

HongKongGarden · 03/10/2023 16:47

Then don’t have children, and do something interesting instead.

Become a ski instructor, or a competitive free diver. Study artificial intelligence and design autonomous weaponised drones.

Cross the Sahara on a motorbike, move to Tokyo and work in a hostess bar, or to Argentina to work in a vineyard.

❤️👏❤️🥟❤️🥟❤️👏

Jessforless · 03/10/2023 17:42

Obviously the suggestions to rent out your house, sell your house, move abroad, change jobs etc are all really exciting and definitely possible for lots of people…

but also consider smaller pleasures. Books, movies, a hobby, study something? I bet you could find something that could bring you some joy.

I love travelling, it’s probably my favourite thing, but there is also such pleasure in just sitting on my sofa with a glass of wine reading a great book.

hope you’re okay OP.

Didimum · 03/10/2023 17:43

Worriedsister223 · 03/10/2023 16:52

I kind of feel like youre making fun of me here, I'm not sure if you are.
I can't just move abroad tomorrow, I have a job and a mortgage.

I don’t think she’s making fun of you - she’s saying life is what you make it.

Do you have a partner? Do you love them? If a mortgage and the job you are doing isn’t working for you then shake it up in the ways available.

wordler · 03/10/2023 17:47

Sounds like you're in the middle of a classic existential internal debate.

You are in excellent company @Worriedsister223 so many great minds have studied and pondered on the purpose of our day in and day out repetitive but fairly short exisitence.

"In the twentieth century, Heidegger held that the meaning of life is to live authentically or (alternatively) to be a guardian of the earth. Sartre espoused the view that life is meaningless but urged us nonetheless to make a free choice that would give our lives meaning and responsibility.

Camus also thought that life is absurd and meaningless. The best way to cope with this fact, he held, is to live life with passion, using everything up, and with an attitude of revolt, defiance, or scorn.

William James held that life is meaningful and worth living because of a spiritual order in which we should believe, or else that it is meaningful when there is a marriage of ideals with pluck, will, and the manly virtues;

Bertrand Russell argued that to live a meaningful life one must abandon private and petty interests and instead cultivate an interest in the eternal; Moritz Schlick argued that the meaning of life is to be found in play; and A. J. Ayer asserted that the question of the meaning of life is itself meaningless."

I think in modern times most people boil it down to:

  • Give your life a higher purpose by choosing to focus on something bigger outside your individual self - can be religion for some, can be an achievement of some sort that takes a lot of effort (climb Everest, ultra marathons), or a noble cause (finding a cure for disease, rasing money for charity, getting laws changed).
  • Nurturing the next generation and having part of you travel forward through time with that - having children but also works for childfree people who nurture children some way in their jobs
  • Being part of the future through something you create that lasts and impacts future generations - artists, writers, film makers etc
  • Finding joy in day to day life by either making changes, or reframing how you feel about what you are currently doing.

Most of us are getting by with a combination of the above.

trebarwith1 · 03/10/2023 17:58

I would echo what other people have said OP, when you change your perspective to wanting meaning in life rather than happiness, I found my life got loads better.
What do you enjoy? Thinking about what you enjoyed as a child is a good place to start.

vixencomet · 03/10/2023 18:01

I've felt a bit like how you described fairly recently and what really helped me is to start finding small things to be grateful for everyday. I also had to keep reminding myself that life is what I make it, so I started actively making plans with people whose company I enjoy and doing things I like. Perhaps it would help to seek some counselling or professionals for advice if this continues on for longer than a few days/a couple of weeks?

NooNooHead1981 · 03/10/2023 18:02

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 03/10/2023 16:54

I don't find life boring at all. I never get bored. I have enough memories, imagination and thoughts in my head to keep me entertained for a pretty long time even if I were sat in a chair doing nothing.

As for my day-to-day existence... I'm a teacher. My job can be tiring and stressful, but it's rarely boring. My dh and teenage dc are largely fun to spend time with, as are my pets. I have hobbies I enjoy and live in a beautiful part of the country, so I have nice scenery to look at. I don't even find my commute to work boring - dh and I listen to a (fiction) podcast en route.

OP - either you are depressed, or just a negative person, or you need to try and make some changes in your life!

I used to be able to entertain myself with my memories, extremely vivid imagination and mind but then I lost my ability to see in my mind's eye after a head injury, and now the thought (excuse the pun) of having to entertain myself for hours with my own brain is totally different to how I've been able to before.

Living like this is extremely frustrating as I was used to doing what you did, and I get very down about it a lot. Luckily I have my lovely children to be grateful for and focus on. They make me realise that there is a purpose for living beyond my own existence

1month · 03/10/2023 18:08

I sometimes find life repetitive or boring because I’m a single parent working FT and the weekends just end up going by in a flash.

I would absolutely love to have the freedom you have and although I love my DC dearly, I do often think about the things I’ll do when they’re older and more independent.

You have weekends to yourself.
Do you do fun things?

You can literally do anything you want, go anywhere you want, move to whatever country you want etc

bonzaitree · 03/10/2023 18:09

This is how i felt when I was depressed.

testedorgan · 03/10/2023 18:11

I have felt the same way for years, so interested to read through these responses. Are you on anti-depressants, OP?

80sMum · 03/10/2023 18:11

Despite its often humdrum nature, life is a wonderful thing. What I find absolutely glorious about it, is that there is no point to it at all!

There doesn't have to be a point. It just is. The very state of being alive, let alone being aware of being alive, is pretty bloody amazing! I mean, honestly, what are the chances of me actually being here at all, right now, writing this? A million billion trillion godzillion to one? Yet, here I am!!

Life is an absolutely incredible journey and I feel so very privileged to be experiencing it, in all its everyday boringness. I wish I had another fifty years of it but I'm a little further down the road than you, OP.

WongWifi · 03/10/2023 18:13

Don’t you have those you love in your life? I have wonderful hobbies that I enjoy and things I like to do, but what makes my life special are the dear people who mean the world to me.

Candlelight34 · 03/10/2023 18:15

Worriedsister223 · 03/10/2023 16:52

I kind of feel like youre making fun of me here, I'm not sure if you are.
I can't just move abroad tomorrow, I have a job and a mortgage.

From your response here i believe you are the problem not life.

Tarne · 03/10/2023 18:16

I absolutely love life and every day is an adventure, aI love starting a new day as it is a blank canvas and it can be filled with bright colours or it can be a great void.

Whatever floats your boat

It sounds as if you are bored of being you. That's great, as discontent is the catalyst for change!

Being self obsessed and selfish are boring traits.

It is a materialistic path you have chosen.

Rethink what you value in life.

If you don't have a dream, how can your dream come true?

DynamicK · 03/10/2023 18:16

You can't help how you feel but you can change it. Go to the gp if you're depressed.
Go find some fun things to do if you're just bored

Londonscallingme · 03/10/2023 18:19

Worriedsister223 · 03/10/2023 16:52

I kind of feel like youre making fun of me here, I'm not sure if you are.
I can't just move abroad tomorrow, I have a job and a mortgage.

Quit your job, rent out your house, or sell it! I’m not saying moving abroad is the right thing to do but in principal, if you want a different type of life, you have to be prepared to change something. Otherwise it stands to reason things will be the same, next week, next year…forever.