To take my 3.5 year old travelling for 2 months?

[travellingwithatoddler]

Me and my partner are taking our 3.5 year old travelling around Asia for 2 months split into two trips - one month in January, one month in June)

We’re going to India, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Japan for a total of 9 weeks.

From every angle I have people telling me that I am selfish, I’m only doing this for myself, he won’t remember it blah blah.

Just because he won’t remember it, doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy it at the time! He is a fab little traveller and absolutely thrives on being outdoors exploring new places. I know my child better than anyone and wouldn’t put myself through the stress if I thought he’d hate it! I have also travelled extensively so I'm not naive to this.

My family have actually said that I am a terrible mother for taking him ‘somewhere so dangerous like India’ - we’re only doing the Golden triangle fgs! And we have a private driver taking us from A to B.

Thoughts? It’s actually starting to get me a little bit down, I just want to look forward to it!

So are you just not supposed to do anything fun with your child while they're young because they won't remember it? Have fun sitting at home twiddling your thumbs for 4+ years!
Even if it was more for your benefit than your child's, as long as its not negatively impacting them, does it matter? We bang on as a society about the importance of maintaining positive mental health, particularly in parents e.g happy mum = happy baby, and as soon as a parent does anything for themselves, they're deemed selfish.

What an amazing experience for you all and even if your child doesn't have any memory of it when they're older, what a great story to be able to tell them! Your family sound like mine where they deem every country that isn't England to be dangerous so personally I'd just roll my eyes and ignore them.

This is hilarious that you've got this kind of ridiculous reaction from friends and family. It shows their ignorance of that part of the world AND ANYONE questioning my capacity as a mother based on something like that (actually, ANYTHING AT ALL) would be immediately ejected from my close circle. How ridiculous. Kids are brought up in a million different ways with a million different experiences- who are they to judge!?!

Anyway, I actually LIVE in one of the countries you mentioned - yes with a toddler who was born here!! And it's great. We've not done a long trip with DC yet, but have done plenty of shorter ones (10 days/2weeks) around the area. It's obviously different to backpacking pre-kids, more forward planning involved (we used to rock up and go with the flow) and obviously a bit of a slower pace, but our kid LOVES it too.

Oh, also for peace of mind (our kid is a bit younger), I also always research the closest hospital/emergency procedure/Dengue threats etc! Maybe that's just me being a FTM though!

PM me if you want any local travelling-with-kids suggestions. I'd be happy to help @travellingwithatoddler

You’re going because you and DH want to go, not because your DS will get anything out of it because he obviously won’t.

he's 3.5 years old, not 3 months old, of course he will!

He won't get the same as an adult will, but they get so much more out of a trip with their parents than a child staying home, or going full time to nursery even.

If the only thing he was gaining (and it won't be) was the early habit of travelling and going to other countries, hearing different languages and trying different food, it would be so worth it.

This sounds amazing! Ignore the negativity, people are most likely jealous; either that they cannot give their own children such experiences, or that a child is going to have the experience when they, as adults, can’t afford to.

We frequently travel with our two little ones (nearly 3 + 1) and have also had some weird comments from family. My eldest constantly talks about the things we did on holiday from up to 6 months ago, so yours will certainly have some memories from it.

Our walls are covered in photos of all the places we’ve been and experiences we’ve had and she loves to point at all the pictures and tell me what we were doing and who we were with.

And whilst I’m under no illusion that trips to the Caribbean are purely for their benefit 😂 DC are both keen water babies, excellent sleepers, love aeroplanes and are happy to try new foods.

I hope you have a fantastic time and take lots of photos!

That sounds amazing! They will learn so much - much more than those same months at home. Enjoy it! What a lucky child.

The only issue I see it is for you more than the kid. I love travelling and travelled all around had lived in 6 countries before having kids. My husband lived in 10 countries speak 4 languages and still travel everywhere for work. We are not travelling at the moment with our kids as we actually do not enjoy that much. I am sure they will love it and have fun, but the extra planning, the scheduling around them, the fact they really do not walk, are not adventurous in food and need a lot of play time is not compatible with our view of travelling and how we like to do it. I am waiting for the youngest to be 7/8 yo to re-start. i don’t feel like spending a lot of money for experiences which would be half baked due to work around their current needs.
but if you are ok with it and enjoy it, I can’t see why not. Or maybe your kid is super easy and actually really does not need any change of your plan.
I feel you are less selfish for willing to travel with a small kid, not more, for the amount of accommodating you will need to make (depending on the kid obvs!)

It sounds amazing! Enjoy.

Sounds amazing!

Ignore anyone not in possession of your own free will..!

Your son would not remember Blackpool beach either, so why not take him to India? You, your partner and your child will make lots of great memories - and pictures! Enjoy your travels, enjoy being together ❣️

Ignore it all, just do it , now. Enjoy every minute

We just did six weeks away from home with our 4yo and I think it was a little bit too much towards the end. Especially with the last couple of weeks being 2 or 3 night stays and then moving on. I got the feeling that he felt a bit disorientated or insecure during that section.

That said I think it was worthwhile for us we made great memories and it pushed us all forward.

Please don’t listen to people criticising - it sounds absolutely amazing! What a lucky kid!!

Jealousy makes people say all kinds of crap!

Ignore them and enjoy it, OP. It sounds wonderful.

Take him! Yes he won’t remember the whole trip but you will remember the time you got to spend with him!

I have been to most of those countries including India extensively.
I probably would not take a small child. The jabs can really knock you for six and my ex partner ended up with an untreatable E-coli infection that he was hospitalised for whilst they created an antidote for him, that was India.
I go and stay in 5 star hotels in India with work and still get horrendously poorly with D&V each time. I wouldn’t put a small child through that

Exactly this. It’s truly frightening how some people’s worlds are so small. To be that well travelled at such a young age does wonders for a child’s wider education - take him and just tell anyone who objects that you believe in offering your child the very best opportunities you can afford. Watch them disagree…

It will be an amazing family bonding experience. There is potential danger everywhere in this world but living in fear and not doing something because of that would be a pretty sad way to live.

I would imagine the naysayers are secretly jealous. I'd be interested to know if people telling you 'you're being selfish and only doing for yourself because he won't remember it' if they ever do anything fun or nice with young kids....because by their logic there'd be no point doing anything apart from sitting in an empty room staring at a blank wall until a child is "old enough to remember" which if course is BS.

Bon Voyage!

Not at all selfish - I took my kids abroad for 3 months when they were 12, 6, 3 and newborn - the 3 year old was chatting in Spanish to the local kids by the end of the holiday! Gutted he's forgotten a lot of it now but such an amazing experience for them all.