To take my 3.5 year old travelling for 2 months?

[travellingwithatoddler]

Me and my partner are taking our 3.5 year old travelling around Asia for 2 months split into two trips - one month in January, one month in June)

We’re going to India, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia and Japan for a total of 9 weeks.

From every angle I have people telling me that I am selfish, I’m only doing this for myself, he won’t remember it blah blah.

Just because he won’t remember it, doesn’t mean he won’t enjoy it at the time! He is a fab little traveller and absolutely thrives on being outdoors exploring new places. I know my child better than anyone and wouldn’t put myself through the stress if I thought he’d hate it! I have also travelled extensively so I'm not naive to this.

My family have actually said that I am a terrible mother for taking him ‘somewhere so dangerous like India’ - we’re only doing the Golden triangle fgs! And we have a private driver taking us from A to B.

Thoughts? It’s actually starting to get me a little bit down, I just want to look forward to it!

We took dd away to Bali for a month when she was 6 months old and continue to travel extensively with her until this day. Before she started school she had spent almost a 6th of her life in SE Asia! Go and see the world, it provides the very best of family memories.

Make sure your travel insurance is brilliant, but otherwise crack on. I travelled all over the place as a child and it was brilliant.

Yes of course, there’s nothing better than family time and although taking a child is added stress, I think it’s easier at his age than older when he’s got school and more of a routine.

Oh right I see what you mean about them calling you selfish now.
They believe you’re putting him in danger 🙄

Plenty of parents take their LOs travelling as they know how difficult it is once they’re in school and I’ve never heard of any of them being in danger.

It will be amazing and life is for doing these things and making amazing memories.

I have just come back from Singapore and Vietnam. Had a wonderful time. It was very very hot and humid in both countries, I never really saw any kids about in Singapore that looked like travelers, Vietnam there was plenty of local kids about, definitely needed vaccination for there.

Enjoy whatever you decide.

I wish I did something like this! Mine are now 8 and 5 and I have a travelling itch which I’m struggling to get rid of. My eldest has memories from 3.5, even if they don’t remember who cares? You wouldn’t stay in for the first four years of a child’s life just incase they wont remember it!

It depends on the child. My DDs would have loved this at 3.5 because they just loved whatever we were doing as long as they were with us, fed on schedule and able to sleep next to us. not surprisingly, my oldest is now an adult and traveling the world.

My earliest memories are from my first holiday abroad when I'd just turned 3. So not too young to remember! Absolutely a wonderful experience to have when they're little and reasonably portable!

Have a wonderful time and make lots of memories!

My eldest remembers travelling at 4. Brother was 2 but still likes to know he went.

The argument you've been given is silly. If you should not travel why should anyone with young kids go abroad or do anything.

Enjoy your life today.

Oh yes and also best to do it now before school fines kick in!

I recently got back from 3 months interrailing with my 3.5 before they started school. It was the best thing I have ever done. Out of the whole 3 months I didn't enjoy maybe two days.

Really involve them in your plans. Let them decide as often as possible what to do. He did have days where he didn't want to get on the train but the was frequently because he liked where we already where so much.

Do it and don't look back. No body told me I was selfish but plenty told me I was mad.

Wow! What an amazing opportunity. I so wish I had done something like this when my dc were little, before school and holidays became more expensive. Have an amazing time!

To be honest I'd like you to provide me with your itinerary! I was discussing this with my husband only yesterday

Your family are being daft what a fab opportunity for you all. They are being judgemental and dare I say maybe a little jealous ?you said it yourself in your op you know your child better than anyone, so ignore the Debbie Downers and Go enjoy it!all of it and have a fantastic time 😁 make sure you take lots of pics of the taj Mahal and send to disapproving family members ! X

I went to Thailand and took my 2 and 4 year old daughters for 5 months. Probably the best time of my life, and they had a blast. I highly recommend it

I now live in Thailand (from UK) and think it's one of the most child-friendly places I've ever been to. Loads of free things geared towards little ones, especially at weekends in the shopping malls if you're in the city, or of course, the beaches are just amazing. People love kids here. I know Singapore to be super child-friendly too, so much for kids to do. You'll never regret going. It's an amazing experience for you all. I had a few weird comments when we said we were moving here, and no family have visited us yet - I think the fear of the unknown really hinders people and they would rather just think that we were on holiday, not on a 6 year contract! Best of luck with your trip.

We're in Thailand for 3.5 weeks
Bangkok, Phi Phi, Koh Lanta, Krabi (I have backpacked the whole of Thailand before pre-kids and loved it so we're going back to my favourite places) and possibly going to add Koh Lipe / Khao Sok NP.

I did absolutely love Chiang Mai too but trying to focus on the islands for Thailand since the rest of ten countries are cities

Then Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia for 4 days

Then spending a week with a private driver in India doing the golden triangle (New Delhi - Agra - Jaipur - New Delhi) my absolute bucket list!

rest of the countries for this trip* that should say.

@LukesDiner - agree. We also are overseas, and family and friends talk like it’s remote 1910s Mongolia or something. Somehow they are amazed it’s developed country, often with more facilities that they get back in uk.

It sounds great and it does not matter if he remembers it or not. Once school starts, life and holidays work around it so it’s great to enjoy this time as a family. We lived in NYC when our DC was this sort of age. He does not remember but does see it as part of his identity.

I had a 3.5 year old 3.5 years ago, so can recall quite clearly what they are like and also talk to my now seven year old about what he remembers from being that age.

I have also been to all those places as we used to live in Asia. Not with a child though.

My take is this:

He won’t be unhappy while away as they are too young to be attached to “home” or a routine. As long as he is with you he will be happy.

The heat might be a bit hard going for him, but not much more than for you. Air con is very effective if you are staying in non-budget accommodation.

You won’t have any semblance of a routine but that will likely bother you more than him.

He might not be familiar with the food but will probably be happy to try more things than a 4 or 5 year-old would be.

You’ll need to be very careful to avoid tummy bugs, and watch out for him sticking his hands in his mouth after touching things out and about.

He will enjoy the colours, sounds and being in the moment but he will not have any concept of how it is different to home, more “exotic”, an unusual culture etc.

He will remember none of it by the time he is 7.

You will miss out a bit because you have a toddler in tow eg we enjoyed cycling, diving, boat trips, multi day hikes with overnight camping, temples where you need be quiet, hours shopping in markets, beach parties, long lazy boozy lunches and eating in the street perched on tiny plastic stools very late at night. Just like at home you’ll need to accept that you have to do kid-friendly stuff.

However Asians do love kids and he will be welcomed with open arms, no need for example to worry about child menus or people feeling disturbed by him running about.

Have a great time!

I cross posted with your update explaining that you had been to a lot of the places before- that’s perfect then as you’ve done the kid free stuff already and have a good idea of how things work and what will and won’t suit him. That said, if it’s a case of showing him all your favourite places you might be a bit disappointed that he can’t quite grasp how special/different they are, and then forgets most of it in a couple of years.

We’re planning to take DS to Japan and I’m toying with when would be the “perfect” age. My current feeling is about 9.

Fabulous idea! You are going to have so much fun and make amazing memories! We travelled quite a bit when my DC was below school age. Covered about 9 countries. Never did 9 weeks at a stretch but it should be fine. Hope you have a wonderful time!

He’ll have an amazing time and you’re teaching him invaluable life skills. What an awesome adventure for you all. If he’s a good traveller then go for it. He’ll be a more resilient and capable boy as a result. We didn’t travel anywhere like India with our daughter at that age but we’ve certainly made sure to expose her to a variety of different ways of travelling and taught her how to navigate an airport, explained different cultures, experienced different climates etc.

Ignore them all, they’re narrow minded and wrong.