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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you to see if I'm missing something in my day

182 replies

bapplebanana · 02/10/2023 07:09

Could you help me to manage my time better in the day- every day is the same, never enough time to go to the gym / do something for myself, or so it feels.

6.30am wake up, get two young DS ready, do breakfast, get myself ready
7.30am leave the house for first drop off at nursery
8.00am second drop off at breakfast club
8.20am arrive at work (secondary school)
4.00pm leave school, pack up school work I haven't finished, and pick kids up, be home by 5.00ish
5.00ish start dinner
6.30 husband arrives home, me and husband eat
7.00 husband starts bed time for the boys, I start work
9.00-9.30 finish work and fall asleep on sofa by 10!

What can I rejig there to make life a bit less repetitive? I love working out it makes me feel much better and currently only managing a work out at weekends

OP posts:
elm26 · 02/10/2023 18:11

Have you thought about something like HelloFresh or Gousto for your weekly meals? I find it fab, having it all there delivered on a Sunday evening in individual paper bags for each recipe and a matching recipe card. We quite often choose the quick meals and we bulk them out with more veg.

Fallulah · 02/10/2023 18:17

Haven’t read all the replies, sorry, but how do you only have three free periods if you’re a second in department? That’s the 10% minimum (30 lesson week) at our school and what mainscale full time teachers have with no extra responsibilities. So that needs looking at, maybe?

AutumnAuntie · 02/10/2023 18:26

How about a couple of evenings you make an easy DC’s meal such as pasta or something on toast and DH cooks for you both when he gets in?

TheMoth · 02/10/2023 18:35

I used to make one night a week gym night. No work at home on that night. I used to do 1 morning a week too.

It gets easier. I've been home half an hour tonight and no one has even spoken to me yet!

Koalasparkles · 02/10/2023 18:38

You sleep for nearly 9 hours? Surely not? Definitely time to workout if you pull that in a bit? Probably in the early morninh as you seem to fall asleep early. Plus there's 30 mins there for a quick workout at 6.30 when your husband gets home if you eat with the kids

direbollockal · 02/10/2023 18:40

I still disagree that it is necessary to do 2.5 hrs of evening work as a teacher.
You need to get more organised and that will give you more time back

I dare say you would be complaining if your DC's work weren't being marked adequately, or if your child's EHCP was being ignored, or you didn't receive any school reports at the end of term@Hufflepods

Otherwise there are some good suggestions here, OP.

rasellagirl · 02/10/2023 18:49

6.30 am is quite a lie in

Raspberrysins · 02/10/2023 18:49

I’m also a secondary school teacher and have EXACTLY the same problems as you. I’ve realised the only solution is getting up at 6 instead of 6.30. There is a great YouTube channel called growingananas https://www.youtube.com/@growingannanas her workouts are great. No talking. No repeats. I wish I could get out and run at that time but I can’t face it, so try and run at the weekend. Also I think you can have at least one week night where you don’t do school work. You just have to put it away and if you need to wing it a bit the next day then do that.

Before you continue to YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@growingannanas

Loudhousefun · 02/10/2023 19:09

Could you maybe have an exercise bike at home so wake up 30 mins earlier and do it then? Alternatively if finances allow then go part time? Or 4 day week?

Pockettopic · 02/10/2023 19:22

Husband to help with nursery pick ups/drops
Quick easy dinner options. Slow cooker is a fab help I find!
could your dh do nursery pick ups while you go home and work earlier or stay at work and do marking/planning etc if your a teacher?

MsCactus · 02/10/2023 19:23

Work out over lunch break - you can find 30min classes, or even less if you just go to gym for a quick workout and shower etc.

Eat your lunch quickly in five mins or less and do that - that's what I'd do

Lighttodark · 02/10/2023 19:32

6.30am is quite a late wakeup with young kids and an early drop off. 8.5 hours sleep is a lot; most people I know sleep less than that and even if it’s not ideal, they sacrifice a bit of sleep to have some time to relax / spend time with partner etc.

Angelil · 02/10/2023 19:39

I’m also a secondary school teacher with 2 young sons.
apart from the husband problem, 2 observations:

  • get up earlier. My commute is only 20-25 minutes and I am up much earlier than you so I can sort myself out before the kids.
  • stop bringing so much work home with you. This job will expand to fill the amount of time you choose to give it. So stop. Nobody ever won any medals for doing that. And surely the school gives you PPA time during the school day?
Angelil · 02/10/2023 19:41

re:bike - if you’re interested in doing that then just get a cargo bike! Loads of room for 2 kids plus bags.

Icannoteven · 02/10/2023 19:42

I don’t really see what your husband is adding to the situation, other than an extra person to cook for. Could you leave him, share custody and take advantage of the extra child free time?

I’m only partly joking.

What we do, with two working adults and 2 children, is take it in turns to cook and feed the kids in the evening while the other pops out. Sometimes I also get up early and go swimming before anyone else is awake. Could u go out dh change is working hours to make this a possibility for you?

Could you leave your kids in childcare for longer in the evenings once or twice a week and have some time for yourself then (maybe your husband could pick them up in his way home and maybe pick up a takeaway too?)

Original poster
bapplebanana · 02/10/2023 19:42

Thank you all for some really helpful responses here, genuinely lots to mull over and where I thought I was a bit stuck in routine, you've given me some fresh ideas to think about- so thank you!!

Last note- I do go to sleep quite early at wake up at 6.30- what I've failed to mention is a whole different thread lol... one DS wakes up with mega tantrums in the night if won't get into his little bed with him, then other DS wakes up and wants me in big bed with him, little DS back awake and crying trying to squish in too, big DS has had enough of being squished, wants to go back ti his bed but with me etc etc... you know what it's like! I wish I were getting 8.5 hours sleep I can only dream of it GrinGrinGrin

OP posts:
Frazzlefrazle · 02/10/2023 19:50

Might have been said already but what about not collecting children until 5ish and going straight after work.

We don't have dinner until 6- 6.30 is and it's been much better for us as a family.
Not that I use that time to exercise mind 😅

sunlightinthetrees · 02/10/2023 19:53

bapplebanana · 02/10/2023 19:42

Thank you all for some really helpful responses here, genuinely lots to mull over and where I thought I was a bit stuck in routine, you've given me some fresh ideas to think about- so thank you!!

Last note- I do go to sleep quite early at wake up at 6.30- what I've failed to mention is a whole different thread lol... one DS wakes up with mega tantrums in the night if won't get into his little bed with him, then other DS wakes up and wants me in big bed with him, little DS back awake and crying trying to squish in too, big DS has had enough of being squished, wants to go back ti his bed but with me etc etc... you know what it's like! I wish I were getting 8.5 hours sleep I can only dream of it GrinGrinGrin

But…why can’t your DH help??

Obviously it’s none of my business and you don’t owe me a response but I’m just confused as to why this very straightforward solution has been overlooked…

MehtotheChristmasrunup · 02/10/2023 19:54

I 've felt your pain Op.
Just ride it out . In a few years the kids get easier and more independent and if you keep working the mortgage is getting smaller and the savings get bigger.
Just in time for it to all go to pot in your 50's but you'll get a few years of good diet exercise and time before that.

WhatsMyDream · 02/10/2023 20:06

Can you pick the kids up later and do exercise between school and pick up?

Katy123456 · 02/10/2023 20:12

I think others have said similar but slow cooker is a practical way to make evening easier.

Other than that can your partner do any of the kids drop offs and/or work from home and do some pick ups. I know you said you only had one car but look at weather bikes/other options are feasible.

arintingly · 02/10/2023 20:12

Even before reading your update on the sleep, I was going to say "noo, don't sacrifice the sleep", it's so important for wellbeing and 8.5 hours isn't excessive at all.

Reading your update, dear lord your DH needs to step the fuck up. Next school holiday, go away for a few days and see if that helps reset things sleep wise for the kids

Threeboysadogandacat · 02/10/2023 20:17

I would stay at work until 5:30 pm Monday to Thursday to get the work done and pick the children up by 6pm if that’s possible. Give them an easy meal ie microwave jacket potato with a filling and salad, cheese/beans on toast with crudités and dip/hummus etc. dh can then do bedtime whilst you go to the gym. When you get back you can take turns to cook and both eat. Use meals that take 20 mins or less to prepare and cook then you have what’s left of the evening together. Friday and the weekend, do something active as a family. Walk, swim, cycle, fun run which will give you an extra workout!

literalviolence · 02/10/2023 20:31

bapplebanana · 02/10/2023 19:42

Thank you all for some really helpful responses here, genuinely lots to mull over and where I thought I was a bit stuck in routine, you've given me some fresh ideas to think about- so thank you!!

Last note- I do go to sleep quite early at wake up at 6.30- what I've failed to mention is a whole different thread lol... one DS wakes up with mega tantrums in the night if won't get into his little bed with him, then other DS wakes up and wants me in big bed with him, little DS back awake and crying trying to squish in too, big DS has had enough of being squished, wants to go back ti his bed but with me etc etc... you know what it's like! I wish I were getting 8.5 hours sleep I can only dream of it GrinGrinGrin

I did wonder if you were getting some disturbed nights! I wonder if there is anything you can do to try and move night time issues on because if you were getting a full night's sleep I think you would condense your sleeping hours and feel like the day suddenly got helpfully longer.

Maireas · 02/10/2023 20:34

Don't work 2.5 hours every night. You'll need to plan for spikes in workload with assessments and tracking, otherwise pare it down. The capable students don't need higher level work, they need skills practise and revision cards. You'll be stretching the whole class, surely. Taking on the ITT student is quite a lot, but are they taking some of your classes?