To ask you to see if I'm missing something in my day

[bapplebanana]

Could you help me to manage my time better in the day- every day is the same, never enough time to go to the gym / do something for myself, or so it feels.

6.30am wake up, get two young DS ready, do breakfast, get myself ready
7.30am leave the house for first drop off at nursery
8.00am second drop off at breakfast club
8.20am arrive at work (secondary school)
4.00pm leave school, pack up school work I haven't finished, and pick kids up, be home by 5.00ish
5.00ish start dinner
6.30 husband arrives home, me and husband eat
7.00 husband starts bed time for the boys, I start work
9.00-9.30 finish work and fall asleep on sofa by 10!

What can I rejig there to make life a bit less repetitive? I love working out it makes me feel much better and currently only managing a work out at weekends

Have only read OP's posts.

Kudos to you. Raising a young family when teaching full time is hard. I truly appreciate the teachers my yr10 son has.

Anyway, do you get some down time during the school holiday? Obviously that doesn't help you day to day, but I guess is some compensation and allows you to hopefully catch up with things you can't do during term time.

Every teacher I know works evenings or weekends. I know as I’m a teacher. According to my DS I worked 9 hours last weekend I was not in his good books, but luckily didn’t need to do anything this weekend.
There’s just too much marking & planning to do otherwise.

I think the main issues are you both doing full time jobs without any childcare in place

OP has one child in nursery, and the other goes to breakfast club and after school club (I assume, as she says she collects at 4pm).

Some gyms are open 24x7x365
I have colleagues who go the gym at 5am before work
Or during their lunch break on night shift

However, you need to have a balance of sleep v exercise

I see this a lot on MN. Granted I am not a morning person (would rather go for a run at 10pm), but really....with 2 young children and a full on teaching job who the hell gets up at the latest 4.30am to get to the gym at 5am?

Do people see lots of parents of young children at the gym at 5am?

I teach, OP. I understand why you are working in the evenings. I can hazard a guess at your subject!

Your DH could be doing more. What about if he does drop-offs a few mornings and you cycle to work?

Alternatively, depending on your older child's age or size, a cargo bike or trailer for the drop-offs?

You pick up your kids between 4pm and 5pm but I’m guessing you’re paying for a session so they could stay a bit later and you could collect them between 5pm and 6pm a few times a week. That would give you an hour to pop to the gym on your way home from work. Agree with other posters - get your DH to do a few drop offs if possible, and don’t make dinners that take an hour and a half. Use short cuts to help (e.g. batch cooked or a jar of pasta sauce or pesto on some spaghetti with a bag of salad, omelette with veggies, fish finger sandwiches, etc) can be done quickly.

Your best bet is to stay at work longer if you can so you're not working in the evenings so much. I much prefer to separate work and home. You could then at least join a weekly class one evening.

I’d make 2 dinners at the same time - one for today, say chicken curry, and one that will simply go into the oven tomorrow (shepherds pie for eg). Then you’re free on day 2 to use the 1 1/2 hrs differently.

Sorry to say but that looks pretty standard for a teacher with children who wants to really do the best by the kids. I was easily doing 3+ hours a night (although I quit teaching before I was doing it long enough to get quicker at planning and marking, experience does help to reduce the workload a bit).

It does depend a lot on the subject. You can be an outstanding teacher in some subjects with less prep and less time-consuming marking than in others. So I'm not saying that any teacher not working evenings isn't trying hard enough. Just sympathy with the OP that I don't think she's unusual in this time commitment.

I would aim for once a week sport at the moment. It will have to be some time when you're currently already busy but could move the activity. So possibly get your husband to take over earlier (as soon as he arrives home) and forego eating together once a week. Then you could still be back early enough to get an hour's work done in the evening, enough to keep your head above water for the next day. Or have one evening of no work and do that work for 3 hours on a weekend, when husband will have the kids. Or get your husband to do one school & nursery drop off or pick up if he can change his hours.

Ummm, 8 hours a night is what we're supposed to have, for basic health.
Wish I could get that, but I certainly wouldn't suggest someone else cut down. Sleep is essential!

apparently the average a UK adult gets is 7.6 hours so 8.5 is quite a lot. It may be normal for the OP but it's worth thinking about. If OP did actually sleep for your quoted requirement, there would be 30 mins every am to work out.

What time does your DH go to work in the morning, can he get the kids ready some days?

Can kids have a nursery/school dinner & something lighter at home some days?

When your husband gets in at 6.30, let him take over dinners, go do a class & eat when you get back. Or let him take over, get an earlier start on work so you get some downtime before bed.

You don’t need an hour and half to make dinner. Do a quick 30 min work out as soon as you get in. Job done.

I have started cycling more. I am doing more exercise than just sitting on the tube. I find using the e-bikes fun to ride and cheaper than public transport! This meant I cycled for 2.5 hours last week.

Is that possible for you? Could get one of those Dutch bikes with a travel box for the kids.

BUT Let’s see if my enthusiasm lasts when it is raining more!

In my experience, young children usually need quite a bit of supervision and even if you stick them in front of a screen for half an hour when you get in you're unlikely to be uninterrupted time for an activity. Also, it's the only time the OP has sitting down with her children (though fair enough if she doesn't need that, I just felt I did at that stage but every family's different).

We have simple meals during the week - omelettes, slow cooker casseroles made from a dump bag, jacket potatoes, chunky soups with cheese scones, etc, could you really simplify your food/washing up etc?
I’d alternate the mornings with your DH so on the days he gets them ready you are free until 7.30am and could do exercise then or whatever best suits you.

It's nothing to do with poor time management. You're working 10 hours a day with a 2 hour commute. If you're not willing to consider a career that doesn't force you to work 50 hours a week for poor pay, this is your life.

Either get a nice cargo bike for the school runs and commute, or cycle to work so husband does the school runs, or do a block of work at some point over the weekend, when you're awake, uninterrupted, to allow less work per school day evening or less work on a few evenings for workout time.

Even if OP had 8 hours sleep, sparing 30 mins activity - this is not what we should be aiming for, to be ‘on’ every second of every day (apart from sleep); this is not a fun or sustainable way to live.

OP you need to share more details about DH schedule.

It sounds like the only leeway in your routine is the kids pick up and drop off. How do you feel about a cargo bike? They can take both kids and all their stuff. And if you live in a congested city can be quicker than driving, or at least more consistent as you don’t get stuck in the traffic. Lots of people have them as their second car, so if your husband takes them to school he can then cycle to the station and if you take them you can carry on cycling to work. They are pretty expensive, so that might not be an option, but they do hold their value so you can often sell after a few years use for pretty much what you paid. Cycle Sprog family cycling section has lots of ideas on which ones might work for you. Bonus is it’s also a workout! Good luck!

What’s your DH routine? How much time does he spend with the kids, working and doing general household chores?

I think with 2 full time jobs, one teaching and one with a commute, and 2 small kids, you are doing great and I wouldn’t have the energy to fit in anything else. But if it’s important to you then you can probably find the time if your DH steps up more and changes his routine.

Depending on distances, cycling to nursery, breakfast club and school probably won't take much longer than driving and gives you the gym workout for free (in both time and money terms). If the children are young then a trailer is good so they don't have to ride themselves. Once the nursery child is a little older than you can probably push everyone's tea later and eat together which might free up some of the time between arriving home and adult meals.

I find it easier to stay at school a little later. It's not much, but it means I'm still in the zone... so we don't pick up 7yo from tea club till just before 5pm.

I always find September madly busy. I keep reminding myself it is usually a bit better once the first half term is passed.

Postpone what you can to the weekend. DH and I are both teachers. One of us takes a bit chunk of child time on Saturday (usually me) so the othercan Mark, then we swap on Sunday for the afternoon. Buys you a decentblock of time but we still have Saturday evening/Sunday morning and evening as family time. Makes weekday evenings less insane!

I don't get as much sleep as you. But probably should aim for something closer to that, so don't consider that as advice! It's just that otherwise DH and I don't get much time together until the school holidays.

To some extent though, it's just the nature of the job. I do bugger all for myself at some parts of the year, and try to make the most of the holidays.

Do you really need to do that much work every night? I’m a secondary school teacher and don’t generally work in the evening.