Bloody Tik Tok and DD

[Pleidiolwyfimgwlad73]

11 year old DD wants TIk Tok and has been relentlessly hasstling for it- giving me the whole ‘all my friends have it’ etc. i have said no and been clear about my reasons which include that I don’t think it’s a particularly safe platform, she’s too young etc etc.

She thinks I am being super strict. My compromise was that I would set up an account on my phone that she could use when I was also able to monitor it - was with her when she’s looking at it.

Aibu and very strict? I don’t bloody want her in some Tik Tok rabbit hole at 11 years old in her room on her own- I feel like there’s then no control. She thinks I am being ridiculous!

Am i being ridiculously over strict?

What a condescending prick comment.

My 16 yr old DD says 'no way!'
Stay firm. Hard no.

Not really, I've never seen anything gory, overly sexual or anything like that on there

Tell her it's a hard no on national security grounds 😉

www.derbytelegraph.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/tiktok-collects-more-data-you-8146492#

My kids don't have it and I have no intention of allowing it
amp.theguardian.com/technology/2023/apr/04/how-tiktoks-algorithm-exploits-the-vulnerability-of-children

It's shockingly awful. I only downloaded it the other day so I could look at an artist I like who pays stuff on there. It started showing me a bunch of moody, grungy looking black and white videos with quotes about death and depression. Not explicitly glamourising suicide maybe but bordering on it. I hate that my 13 year old niece who is clinically depressed is always glued to this horseshit.

Welcome to an adult debate.

Then tell her you won't discuss it at all anymore and completely ignore her when she asks about it. You've told her your answer, no need to engage in conversation about it.

I attended an online internet safety training talk organised by my kids primary school and run by two former policemen - I've worked in the software / internet industry for 20 years and I was totally shocked by how vulnerable kids are on tiktok and snapchat.

Has it really not occurred to you your children will be seeing different content?

To echo other posters stay strong OP. Its not suitable for kids, it's really not. Its absolutely full of misinformation and it serves up some really dangerous/upsetting crap. Also packed full of thickos of all ages peddling bollocks - from beauty to get rich quick schemes. Yes, there is a lot of funny/entertaining content too but at nearly middle age I've got the wherewithal to be able to distinguish the funnys from the rubbish with my sense of self in tact. Absolutely wouldn't have age 11.

I’m early 30s. I downloaded it and had to undownload after a week. It is SO addictive!!! Honestly! Wrecks your brain.

So no I wouldn’t allow my son to. He’s only 2 thank god. I think this type of social media will be banned in the next 10 years or so. No way will the 20yos of today allow their children to use it.

TikTok is an echo chamber, what you look at you just get more of. Its easy to watch and convince yourself of all sorts or get brain washed into believing certain ideas. DH watched and liked ONE video of the origin of some conspiracy theory (he doesn't buy into them and was interested about where it started) and he gets them all the time now.

It can be sexist, racist, homophobic, ableist and the comments are sometimes worse, sometimes flying very under the radar. TikTok have now made it so if you report posts and they do not feel it's a violation, they can suspend your account. Even though the team clearly do not understand context behind of harmful comments from a specific angle from an individual country.

I'd really recommend leaving it as long as possible.

I've regularly gone through their fyp and I'm aware of what type of videos they get, again, nothing concerns me. My 11yo barely goes on it.

I had this a few years ago and said no repeatedly. Now they all have it anyway but I'm pleased I didn't give in, even though it made me the worst parent in the world 😂

I also have a 16yo and she mainly gets Harry styles, 1D, Louis Tomlinson, Harry potter and gaming videos.

I am at teacher. Last year we had a police officer do our safeguard training. He said that tiktok has the biggest number of p’file rings you can imagine and they are going up faster than they could ever take them down……..

Because the algorithm will feed you what you’re interested in. And your middle aged mummy choices aren’t, I suspect, going to funnel pro eating disorder / super sexualised content etc to you.

Don't do it. I allowed my dd onto it and worst thing I ever done. Not a place for children, had to remove it from her.

Don't do it. My DN was groomed via TikTok

Actually add Roblox to that aswell!! 🙄

It's based on algorithms and previous searches and stuff like that. They won't be seeing what you see

Don't do it. Her mental health is far more important than guilt about her being the only child in the class without it. Our teens are not allowed it and are better for it.

I only added my favourite actors/tv shows.

While aimlessly scrolling, I was shown a video so upsetting (and completely unrelated) that I immediately deleted the app.

It was months ago and still upsets me when I remember it.

Yeah and they don't for my kids either. I'd much rather give them the access now, monitored by me and teach them what to look out for and what kind of content is bad etc. I'd rather do it now when I have the control rather than wait til they're 16 and I don't have the authority to look at their phone or put restrictions on it. Just my opinion and way of doing things.

I know. Read the thread.