Page 5 | Unsure how I can afford these bills

onebornsecibd · 2023-10-01T15:36:12+00:00

I've just moved in with a mate who has different lifestyle habits. Her room is heated all the time to 24 degrees and she uses the tumble dryer etc to dry clothes. Last night she put the heating on when she was going to bed, and she's got a heated blanket. Yesterday we spent £7 in total on gas and electric. I think she just feels the cold more but I would I rather put of turning on the heat until it actually gets colder. We split the bills. I though it would be cheaper to live together but it's actually more expensive :(

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 19:24

Fleabane · 01/10/2023 19:10

Is this just a moan thread? You've rejected all suggestions and ideas from sympathetic posters

I've spoken to her. We have to split bills 50/50. I can't leave the tenancy early.... so what am I supposed to do?

OP posts:

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 19:27

What if she was a lodger and bills included.... still ok ?

OP posts:

whowhatwerewhy · 01/10/2023 19:38

So you need to speak to her again, ask how much she is expecting the bills to be and point out how much they will be based on the use . Explain you simply can't afford it .

3WildOnes · 01/10/2023 20:03

I'm in London and my house is currently 17 degrees. My house is old and draughty and earlier it was colder inside that out. I put my heating on for an hour the other evening yo get the house up to 20 as I was a bit chilly.
Some houses are just cold.

Densol57 · 01/10/2023 20:08

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Fleabane · 01/10/2023 20:41

Well you need to have another conversation about average costs. Having heating on overnight isn't normal.

CantFindTheBeat · 01/10/2023 21:21

So OP,

You have agreed to split bills 50/50.

You haven't agree what those bills consist of.

So in that case, a conversation is needed to reach a decision.

Something like:

"Dear Flatmate, we need to discuss.

My maximum budget for energy per month is (£125-£150???) This is based on my previous flats with typical use, which consists of heating is on for X amount of time when temperatures reach X levels.

I can't afford any more than this.
We need to agree limiting our heating use to typical levels, or you paying more for your additional use. There isn't any other option, what would you like to do?"

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 21:29

3WildOnes · 01/10/2023 20:03

I'm in London and my house is currently 17 degrees. My house is old and draughty and earlier it was colder inside that out. I put my heating on for an hour the other evening yo get the house up to 20 as I was a bit chilly.
Some houses are just cold.

Her room is currently 23.5 and she's walking around in a t shirt and long trousers.....

So there lies the problem.

Rest of the house is 21.5 degrees and it's too hot for me.

OP posts:

CantFindTheBeat · 01/10/2023 21:29

A lesson learnt for everyone here, I think,

If you are agreeing to split bills proportionally, there needs to be parameters and thresholds in place.

Otherwise what are you agreeing to?

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 21:38

CantFindTheBeat · 01/10/2023 21:29

A lesson learnt for everyone here, I think,

If you are agreeing to split bills proportionally, there needs to be parameters and thresholds in place.

Otherwise what are you agreeing to?

To split bills.

Other people I've lived have been reasonable.... because they would rather not spend the money on utilities. She obviously doesn't care. Her last place she said she never put the heating on and was always cold.... it was a newish build.

So clearly she's a cold person.... but also dumb.... I'm practically naked trying to cool down and she's in a t shirt complaining it's cold.

OP posts:

CantFindTheBeat · 01/10/2023 21:45

@onebornsecibd

Look at my post suggesting how to address it,

If you don't, that's on you,

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 21:56

CantFindTheBeat · 01/10/2023 21:45

@onebornsecibd

Look at my post suggesting how to address it,

If you don't, that's on you,

I have done and she says she's cold..., constantly always cold,.,. What's supposed to be my response? Don't be cold?

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somethinghastochangesoon · 01/10/2023 22:09

If you take none of the advice on here, you will have to suck this up for a year.

Whose name is the gas bill in. If she wants to control the heating and have it on with no compromise it should be in her name.

transformandriseup · 01/10/2023 22:13

Wow, I really feel for you. Our heating would be on all the time if it was set to that temperature.

What @CantFindTheBeat suggested to say/write is all you can do though. I would say what your maximum budget is each month and that all you will able to pay.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/10/2023 22:15

Does she need to go to the doctors if she’s that cold all the time?

Honestly she can’t have it both ways - heated to her preference and split the bills 50:50. As a pp said, tell her what you can afford, and that you need it keep to typical use or she has to pay a larger proportion. Why is she getting to lay down the law?

CantFindTheBeat · 01/10/2023 22:21

@onebornsecibd

You say exactly what I suggested; that your maximum budget is XXXX, in alignment with average use, anything above, she will have to pay for.

Address it, or, pay it. Choice is yours.

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 22:24

transformandriseup · 01/10/2023 22:13

Wow, I really feel for you. Our heating would be on all the time if it was set to that temperature.

What @CantFindTheBeat suggested to say/write is all you can do though. I would say what your maximum budget is each month and that all you will able to pay.

I don't know.... she says she's cold and says I can always take of more clothes if im too hot....

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ThinWomansBrain · 01/10/2023 22:26

I only put the central heating on once or twice last 'year' (as in winterish Nov-March)- I used an oil fired radiator in the bedroom a bit.
Certainly haven't used it yet - I do tend to get cold feet, found bed socks for the fist time last night, they stayed on for about 20 minutes until my feet warmed up, then was fine. Holding out on switching from summer duvet because I read there was going to be a final warm spell.

OP - what are you hoping to achieve from the post?
(it's an hour or so since I read it, so may have missed an update)
you've been fairly negative in replies from suggestions to having a conversation with flatmate to moving out - either you do something about it, or put up with it.

transformandriseup · 01/10/2023 22:42

I don't know.... she says she's cold and says I can always take of more clothes if im too hot....

Actually I did know someone who liked to keep the temperature around 24 degrees and I couldn't be in their house for too long as I would get a massive headache and feel sick. I'm just thinking you could use something like this to start a conversation. She has to learn it's not all about her. I would hate to fall out with a friend but knowing I couldn't afford those heating bills and also couldn't live in an house which was too hot means this is one hill I would definitely die on.

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 22:44

ThinWomansBrain · 01/10/2023 22:26

I only put the central heating on once or twice last 'year' (as in winterish Nov-March)- I used an oil fired radiator in the bedroom a bit.
Certainly haven't used it yet - I do tend to get cold feet, found bed socks for the fist time last night, they stayed on for about 20 minutes until my feet warmed up, then was fine. Holding out on switching from summer duvet because I read there was going to be a final warm spell.

OP - what are you hoping to achieve from the post?
(it's an hour or so since I read it, so may have missed an update)
you've been fairly negative in replies from suggestions to having a conversation with flatmate to moving out - either you do something about it, or put up with it.

I've not been negative. I've been telling the situation how it is. People need to remember it's two independent adults and not a family, so the dynamics are different.

She says she's cold.... what am I supposed to do?

OP posts:

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 22:45

ThinWomansBrain · 01/10/2023 22:26

I only put the central heating on once or twice last 'year' (as in winterish Nov-March)- I used an oil fired radiator in the bedroom a bit.
Certainly haven't used it yet - I do tend to get cold feet, found bed socks for the fist time last night, they stayed on for about 20 minutes until my feet warmed up, then was fine. Holding out on switching from summer duvet because I read there was going to be a final warm spell.

OP - what are you hoping to achieve from the post?
(it's an hour or so since I read it, so may have missed an update)
you've been fairly negative in replies from suggestions to having a conversation with flatmate to moving out - either you do something about it, or put up with it.

You only put the heating on twice.... wow.... amazing you could survive in the snow and the horrific cold weather we had.... and only put the heating on twice.

Sounds ideal if someone wants helath issues, to stay at your house. Be cold and miserable and get health issues.

OP posts:

Original poster

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 22:46

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 01/10/2023 22:15

Does she need to go to the doctors if she’s that cold all the time?

Honestly she can’t have it both ways - heated to her preference and split the bills 50:50. As a pp said, tell her what you can afford, and that you need it keep to typical use or she has to pay a larger proportion. Why is she getting to lay down the law?

I would think she's used to spending money on utility bills and doesn't care... whereby I don't like using fossil fuels and actually feel colder when I have a warm house (and go outside).

OP posts:

saltinesandcoffeecups · 01/10/2023 23:19

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 19:27

What if she was a lodger and bills included.... still ok ?

You again…

Ginmonkeyagain · 02/10/2023 07:38

You can get individual temperature controls for radiators, that will be a start.

Also tell madam if she is cold she needs to put a jumper on.

ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere · 02/10/2023 10:06

OK, so you have thermostatic radiators, so set the temp lower in all the rooms but hers. Although if she wants to hang out in the living room then there'll probably be a running battle.

It's the best you can do though - and it will make a difference to the bill (maybe not the huge one you're hoping for), obviously the energy required to heat a whole house up to 23 is more than heating one room up to 23 - basically the water circulating in the heating will stay hotter for longer since it's not being put through so many radiators, so the boiler will have to do less work.

I never hang out washing either. Too much of it, too busy, too many birds shitting where the line would be.