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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unsure how I can afford these bills

141 replies

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 16:36

I've just moved in with a mate who has different lifestyle habits.

Her room is heated all the time to 24 degrees and she uses the tumble dryer etc to dry clothes.

Last night she put the heating on when she was going to bed, and she's got a heated blanket.

Yesterday we spent £7 in total on gas and electric.

I think she just feels the cold more but I would I rather put of turning on the heat until it actually gets colder.

We split the bills. I though it would be cheaper to live together but it's actually more expensive :(

OP posts:
Winter2020 · 01/10/2023 17:31

Hi OP,
As your housemate wants the house significantly warmer than you you will both have to compromise or else your friendship/living together will be short lived.

Think about what temp you would live with, what she wants and what you can both live with e.g. 20 on the thermostat?

Remind her that your utilities now are costing £7 a day or £210 each month but to keep the place to that temp in winter when it's very cold out will cost a lot more - possibly double. Double would mean winter bills of £200 each a month. Perhaps you could encourage her to use the meter and try not to go over £10 a day in winter or whatever amount you agree. Is she quite well off so not bothered about the bill?

Don't worry about the heated blanket - that is a good option - probably a penny an hour.

Ghastisflabbered · 01/10/2023 17:34

Having the heating on at the moment is ridiculous - we’re a cold family and still haven’t put it on yet this winter.

For context we were regularly spending £25-30 a day on gas and electric last winter so we’re not shy about using it (and are extremely privileged in being able to afford to).

has she lived with people before? Paid her own bills? Can you tell her how much you’re estimating the bill to be and see if it makes a difference to her consumption?

Ollifer · 01/10/2023 17:37

Where are you? I'm literally sat outside in a t shirt and it's warm at the moment, deffo not heating weather and I feel the cold usually

fruitbrewhaha · 01/10/2023 17:38

Do you have a smart meter? You need to get one so you can show her exactly how much she is spending and then you can both agree a budget.

zurala · 01/10/2023 17:38

I've got my heating on, it's quite chilly especially at night. Mumsnet is always so extreme around heating, always saying it's not cold and to put 20 jumpers on instead.
I think you'll need to talk to her, with the figures, and agree a percentage of the heating bill to pay but she may not agree.

I once rented a room in someone's house and they had all the windows open and the heating full blast and when the bill came in I refused to pay half and paid a smaller percentage. She took me to small claims court and won. So be careful if your agreement is to pay half as I think you will have to unless she agrees otherwise (and if she does, get it in writing and dated).

Winter2020 · 01/10/2023 17:39

For the tumble dryer use work out what it costs to use - e.g. find out the energy of a cycle in the manual and the cost of the units or just an estimate of "average load" online/using your smart meter, and then put a sheet of paper on top of the machine. When either of you use it write it down. E.g. if you decide £1 each load and when you pay your bill she has done 20 loads she pays the first £20 of the bill then you split the rest.

I did this with a washing machine years ago when my friend was stressed I used it a few times a week and she used it maybe only once. I often had wet running kit etc. We kept a note book and I was happy to pay 50p each time (2007!) rather than have any bad feeling.

CoffeeBeansGalore · 01/10/2023 17:40

I'm in N Scotland. We've had a few chilly nights but nothing below freezing yet. Winter duvet has been on a month & used tumble dryer this week for the first time in months.

Have not had the heating on since March.

An electric blanket would be more economical than the heating on full blast in her bedroom.

As others have said monitor the meter readings for 24 hours her way then your way.
She has to pay the difference if she refuses to change. Why should you subsidise her?

A calor gas heater is quite economical. A full 15kg bottle is approx £53. Used every day for a few hours would last 6-8 weeks. You just have to watch for condensation.

ChickpeaPie · 01/10/2023 17:41

You definitely need to tell her this isn’t normal.
its 15 degrees in my house but won’t have heating on for at least another month. Can’t be having the heating on for 6 months of the year.
maybe she’ll change her ways when she sees the first bill

EvilElsa · 01/10/2023 17:43

You just need to be honest with her and point out the smart meter, how much is being spent and that you won't be able to afford that amount. Doesn't need to be an argument or criticism. Say that you obviously feel the cold differently but will need to reach a compromise or you will have to look at moving out as the bills will be too high to manage for you.

PinkMoscatoLover · 01/10/2023 17:43

I’m currently wearing a vest and knickers in the house, that’s it! I’m the type of person that if I’m cold, I won’t put more layers on, I’ll just turn the heating on instead.

However, I pay all my bills so I’m the only person responsible. Surely your friend would realise that the total of bills won’t be fair if she’s the only one racking up the gas bill? You obviously have to have a conversation that splitting bills 50/50 won’t be fair if she carries on using energy like this.

I’d wait until you get the first bill though so you can speak about things properly

Ginmonkeyagain · 01/10/2023 17:45

24 degrees is an unusually high indoor temperature for a healthy person.

We have had a very mild early autumn, particularly in the south east of England. It's 23 degrees here today in London.

I went out last night and was wearing jeans and a light cotton/silk mix blouse. I didn't need to put on my jacket when I left the venue at 1am this morning.

Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:46

Seryse · 01/10/2023 17:29

You need to be firm and just tell her you can't afford to pay that and she needs to either pay more of the bills when they come in, or stick a jumper on. It's getting cooler now, so I dread to think how it's going to be in your house when it gets really cold heating wise... with current utility prices, that genuinely makes me anxious.

Prices of electricity and gas have gone down.... gas is now 30% cheaper than dec 2022.

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:47

EvilElsa · 01/10/2023 17:43

You just need to be honest with her and point out the smart meter, how much is being spent and that you won't be able to afford that amount. Doesn't need to be an argument or criticism. Say that you obviously feel the cold differently but will need to reach a compromise or you will have to look at moving out as the bills will be too high to manage for you.

We don't have a smart meter

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:47

ChickpeaPie · 01/10/2023 17:41

You definitely need to tell her this isn’t normal.
its 15 degrees in my house but won’t have heating on for at least another month. Can’t be having the heating on for 6 months of the year.
maybe she’ll change her ways when she sees the first bill

15 degrees isn't healthy and our house is reading 20 degrees....

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:48

Winter2020 · 01/10/2023 17:31

Hi OP,
As your housemate wants the house significantly warmer than you you will both have to compromise or else your friendship/living together will be short lived.

Think about what temp you would live with, what she wants and what you can both live with e.g. 20 on the thermostat?

Remind her that your utilities now are costing £7 a day or £210 each month but to keep the place to that temp in winter when it's very cold out will cost a lot more - possibly double. Double would mean winter bills of £200 each a month. Perhaps you could encourage her to use the meter and try not to go over £10 a day in winter or whatever amount you agree. Is she quite well off so not bothered about the bill?

Don't worry about the heated blanket - that is a good option - probably a penny an hour.

We don't have a meter

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:49

Ginmonkeyagain · 01/10/2023 17:45

24 degrees is an unusually high indoor temperature for a healthy person.

We have had a very mild early autumn, particularly in the south east of England. It's 23 degrees here today in London.

I went out last night and was wearing jeans and a light cotton/silk mix blouse. I didn't need to put on my jacket when I left the venue at 1am this morning.

Edited

She feels cold though....

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:49

PinkMoscatoLover · 01/10/2023 17:43

I’m currently wearing a vest and knickers in the house, that’s it! I’m the type of person that if I’m cold, I won’t put more layers on, I’ll just turn the heating on instead.

However, I pay all my bills so I’m the only person responsible. Surely your friend would realise that the total of bills won’t be fair if she’s the only one racking up the gas bill? You obviously have to have a conversation that splitting bills 50/50 won’t be fair if she carries on using energy like this.

I’d wait until you get the first bill though so you can speak about things properly

That's a bit weird....

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:50

Winter2020 · 01/10/2023 17:39

For the tumble dryer use work out what it costs to use - e.g. find out the energy of a cycle in the manual and the cost of the units or just an estimate of "average load" online/using your smart meter, and then put a sheet of paper on top of the machine. When either of you use it write it down. E.g. if you decide £1 each load and when you pay your bill she has done 20 loads she pays the first £20 of the bill then you split the rest.

I did this with a washing machine years ago when my friend was stressed I used it a few times a week and she used it maybe only once. I often had wet running kit etc. We kept a note book and I was happy to pay 50p each time (2007!) rather than have any bad feeling.

I know how much it costs. 3kw dryer so 90p an hour

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 01/10/2023 17:51

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Seryse · 01/10/2023 17:51

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:46

Prices of electricity and gas have gone down.... gas is now 30% cheaper than dec 2022.

Show quote history

It's still going tonbe a bigger bill than you need, regardless of prices going down. With it being a lot colder then she might bump the temp up even more, though I hope for your sake she doesn't.

zurala · 01/10/2023 17:52

OP if you don't have a smart meter how do you know how much the costs are each day? Are you just making it up in your head?

Ps, re another reply, it's definitely not normal to have a house at 15c and no heating on! 15 is really cold!

PinkMoscatoLover · 01/10/2023 17:53

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:49

That's a bit weird....

Show quote history

How is that weird! My point was that yes there are still people wearing a vest and shorts/trousers at this time of year inside.

No clue why you’ve posted though. You don’t seem keen on talking to her or making any chances so good luck!

Densol57 · 01/10/2023 17:55

Ive read all your replies OP in contrast to the very helpful ideas you have received here and rejected.
So here is it simples 🤣
Either speak up and challenge the ratio split, pay up and moan, or move out 👍🏼

Ginmonkeyagain · 01/10/2023 17:55

@onebornsecibd Then she needs to dress properly. I put on a thermal underlayer and a jumper before the heating goes on.

If she is putting the heating on to 24 degrees in early autumn, she is going to bankrupt you both. We pay £109 a month for energy in a 2 bed flat and we tend to heat the flat to 18 degrees. It is currently 22 degrees in our flat and we haven't had the heating on since late March.

Ginmonkeyagain · 01/10/2023 17:59

@zurala they were talking about the outside temperature, it hasn't dropped below 15/16 degrees ovenight here in the South East. If it is 15 degrees outside it will be warmer than that inside.

15 degrees is a pretty mild nightime temperature for this time of year. For nightime temperatures of 20 degrees or over outside is considered a "tropical night" and difficult to sleep comfortably in.