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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unsure how I can afford these bills

141 replies

onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 16:36

I've just moved in with a mate who has different lifestyle habits.

Her room is heated all the time to 24 degrees and she uses the tumble dryer etc to dry clothes.

Last night she put the heating on when she was going to bed, and she's got a heated blanket.

Yesterday we spent £7 in total on gas and electric.

I think she just feels the cold more but I would I rather put of turning on the heat until it actually gets colder.

We split the bills. I though it would be cheaper to live together but it's actually more expensive :(

OP posts:
TeenLifeMum · 01/10/2023 17:07

Ours hasn’t gone on yet. I’m wearing shorts and tshirt sat in the garden. I’m usually a cold person but heating right now is madness. Sorry, no advice but maybe a conversation is needed re costs.

nutbrownhare15 · 01/10/2023 17:11

You say you can't afford to move ..but can you afford to live with her if she's going to insist on 50:50 on the heating?

Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:11

TeenLifeMum · 01/10/2023 17:07

Ours hasn’t gone on yet. I’m wearing shorts and tshirt sat in the garden. I’m usually a cold person but heating right now is madness. Sorry, no advice but maybe a conversation is needed re costs.

Are you abroad? It's just been around 15 degrees at night etc. hardly t shirt and shirts weather..... as was most of summer

OP posts:
Charlattanus23 · 01/10/2023 17:12

I work with someone who feels the cold, they are extremely thin and refer to my office as the Icebox. When I'm on site I do a fair amount of moving about. I often have to bite my tongue not to just tell her to put a ruddy jacket on. Their office could literally double as a sauna....

Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:12

nutbrownhare15 · 01/10/2023 17:11

You say you can't afford to move ..but can you afford to live with her if she's going to insist on 50:50 on the heating?

I'm in a contract for a year. So yes I will have to.

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:13

Ddcg12 · 01/10/2023 17:07

Buy them a Oodie for Christmas !

Think she's a bit too precious to wear it.

OP posts:
50lessfat · 01/10/2023 17:14

Do you both work outside the house?

melmonroe · 01/10/2023 17:15

Ours hasn't dipped below 20° yet even at night. It's currently 23.5° downstairs. I'm aiming to hold off to at least November. Oodies and thick socks before I'd even think about putting the heating on.

I put a fitted sheet over the top of the heater airer, it never takes more than 12 hours to dry but everything's still drying outside atm.

HazelDean · 01/10/2023 17:15

You need to an adult conversation with your friend about reasonable heating costs.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 01/10/2023 17:16

Your housemate is insane! I'm here with the patio doors open and windows open. Washing was dried outside and I'm in a tshirt and shorts, it's soooooo hot still considering it's October it's about 20 degrees here today.

You need to have a serious chat with your housemate and if she insists on high heating the bills need to be split appropriately.

MooseAndSquirrelLoveFlannel · 01/10/2023 17:18

I've just checked my Hive and with the doors open my lounge is 23.4 degrees.

Mrsttcno1 · 01/10/2023 17:19

The problem is when you’re sharing with someone you have to come to a middle ground, you can’t forbid her from putting the heating on and she can’t forbid you from turning it off.

I know you’ve said that you haven’t had a bill yet, maybe when she see’s the bill she will realise what you’re saying as that will actually put the cost into perspective?

taptaptaps · 01/10/2023 17:21

Has she paid bills herself before? If not she may not realise the cost and it will solve itself after the first round of bills

ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere · 01/10/2023 17:21

She's not the brightest. Has stuff covering her radiator and a big mirror.

Sorry - I'm not understanding the significance of the big mirror?

Tumble dryer isn't so bad (assuming a newish one) - about 250quid a year, vs. living with laundry draped everywhere all winter..

Is she opening the window when she has all this heating on? do you have thermostatic valves so at least only her room is boiling? I'm struggling to understand how she could sleep with heating, heated blanket etc.

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 01/10/2023 17:22

Whereabouts are you @onebornsecibd that you think 15° at night is particularly cold? It's been really mild/warm where I am for the time of year (Northern Ireland, not exactly known for its soaring temperatures). As lots of other people have suggested, you need to have a conversation with this person you live with.

kitsuneghost · 01/10/2023 17:23

You need to sit down and talk with her.
Do a day of her way see what it costs
Do a day of your way and see what it costs
If she is £7 and you are £3, then she should pay 70%

Gypsum5 · 01/10/2023 17:23

She said we need to split it 50/50 as agreed.

I bet she did! Tell her you’ll pay 1/4. Also when the room gets hot turn the heating off, then put it on again when it gets cold.

xyz111 · 01/10/2023 17:24

You need to speak to her and say as she's using a greater proportion of the gas/ electric, she needs to pay a greater %. If she doesn't agree, I think you or her are going to have to move out. Don't subsidise her using so much!!

xyz111 · 01/10/2023 17:25

kitsuneghost · 01/10/2023 17:23

You need to sit down and talk with her.
Do a day of her way see what it costs
Do a day of your way and see what it costs
If she is £7 and you are £3, then she should pay 70%

This is a good idea! It'll prove how much she's using and she won't be able to argue against it.

Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:26

GiveMyHeadPeaceffs · 01/10/2023 17:22

Whereabouts are you @onebornsecibd that you think 15° at night is particularly cold? It's been really mild/warm where I am for the time of year (Northern Ireland, not exactly known for its soaring temperatures). As lots of other people have suggested, you need to have a conversation with this person you live with.

I think to say that you are all wearing shirts and T-shirts and make out it's "really warm" is disingenuous. It's raining often and lots of people are wearing their autumn wardrobe.

Not really too sure what your point is.

OP posts:
Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:28

ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere · 01/10/2023 17:21

She's not the brightest. Has stuff covering her radiator and a big mirror.

Sorry - I'm not understanding the significance of the big mirror?

Tumble dryer isn't so bad (assuming a newish one) - about 250quid a year, vs. living with laundry draped everywhere all winter..

Is she opening the window when she has all this heating on? do you have thermostatic valves so at least only her room is boiling? I'm struggling to understand how she could sleep with heating, heated blanket etc.

The big mirror is a full length mirror that is covering her radiator. So heat can't come out and circulate.

Yes there are those room controlled TRVs so I can see what temp the room/ house is. Just putting on one radiator uses a lot of gas, its the same as putting them all on to a certain degree.

OP posts:
Seryse · 01/10/2023 17:29

You need to be firm and just tell her you can't afford to pay that and she needs to either pay more of the bills when they come in, or stick a jumper on. It's getting cooler now, so I dread to think how it's going to be in your house when it gets really cold heating wise... with current utility prices, that genuinely makes me anxious.

Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:30

ICanSeeMyHouseFromHere · 01/10/2023 17:21

She's not the brightest. Has stuff covering her radiator and a big mirror.

Sorry - I'm not understanding the significance of the big mirror?

Tumble dryer isn't so bad (assuming a newish one) - about 250quid a year, vs. living with laundry draped everywhere all winter..

Is she opening the window when she has all this heating on? do you have thermostatic valves so at least only her room is boiling? I'm struggling to understand how she could sleep with heating, heated blanket etc.

It's just a few items she is washing and putting in the tumble dryer. She won't hang them outside as she says they smell funny..... so was even using it in the recent heatwave we had that week lol.

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 01/10/2023 17:31

I think their point is to agree with you that it's too warm to put the heating on

Original poster
onebornsecibd · 01/10/2023 17:31

xyz111 · 01/10/2023 17:24

You need to speak to her and say as she's using a greater proportion of the gas/ electric, she needs to pay a greater %. If she doesn't agree, I think you or her are going to have to move out. Don't subsidise her using so much!!

We have a contract for a year and the location is good for my lifestyle - work and training. Also it's really hard to find anywhere to live due to my guarantor being overseas... i don't have a British family.

OP posts: