To leave my job/grievance with HR

[StrongTea22]

For context, pre kids I had a similar situation with a manager within the same wider organisation.

I’ve triggered an absence trigger at work (4 times in 1 year) half of it unfortunately Covid. Front facing public role, career grade and professional standards in place.

my manager is a bully. I’ve managed to manage becoming a target but I think it’s taken me this long to develop some assertiveness skills which she hasn’t taken to well.

basically she has been negligent in some of the processes and logging of Absence and policy which I have objected to and we had a meeting with HR a few weeks ago.

The meeting was hard and they began by asking about my well being. I said I was well but wanted advice on mitigating covid within the organisation and what steps were in place to support staff with the public.

this was discussed and then I got to ask about some of the areas I objected to and received two apologies. I had to be massively assertive which I don’t find easy.

THe HR rep was very combatant and when id received my second apology and was wiped out being assertive I was asked again about my well being.

my response was …are we goi g to talk about that now? I thought we’d talked about that?

They both got very insistent saying that was the purpose of the meeting but I felt I’d already been asked and answered appropriately.

I wasn’t refusing to answer, I wasn’t rude, insulting, defiant and I did not break any code of conduct or professional standards only for the HR woman to basically say something like ‘you’re talking to your manager and I suggest you watch your tone’

Now this completely knocked the wind out of my sails for a second as that is not how I was acting (and I checked with a colleague in attendance who would have told me).

I think my manager struggles being challenged and this meeting was very much ‘get back in your box’ and that the HR lady had been waiting for an opportunity to give me this sort of warning at my managers behest.

AIBU to be outraged about the HR person? Tone policed for…I aren’t sure what, reflecting out loud?

we had a break afterwards and I am at the stage now where I don't think it will be good for me to continue working there.

How do I manage this going forward? I can ask to reduce my hours but it’s unlikely to be agreed as they can’t recruit.

Any insight to role of HR welcomed.

I feel like I need…HR and can’t ask my own! Presumably managers in local government have to follow policies and take complaints seriously?

@Playingintheshadow I have sought advice from both ACAS and a solicitor.

Would be interested in comparing notes to be honest.

Reading policies and which procedures to follow, kind of feels deliberately hard.

Keep us updated OP!

Best practice would always be to try to find a resolution to an issue without going formal. It only leads to even greater deterioration in relationships and often the outcome is unsatisfactory for everyone - and there's no going forward from it.

So many DAW complaints are "she says/he says" with little to no robust evidence to support either party.

I agree with your friend though. Of course they should be following the policies, and if the complaint ends up with an external body, they will then be judged on the extent to which the policies have been followed. It's really important for the sake of consistency and fairness.

Yes.

it’s been suggested to directly address the outcome that I want informally and seeing what comes back but referencing ‘informal grievance’ rather than what could be construed as vague emails.

There is no way I would feel able to work there and have just been discussing my exit plan.

I should have voted with my feet many years ago too but I didn't for various reasons. I am too old now, just looking to retirement. My experience over the course of some 30 years is literally incredible. If I hadn't lived it, I wouldn't believe it.

The employment market is way different now to what it was when I should have escaped. 100% you should move on. Toxic will always be toxic.

Just to update the thread.

I raised a grievance both about my manager and the way in which HR had played a role in terms of policy roll out. Big manager was aghast about how I’d been treated and certainly understood some of my issues around my treatment.

At this point the manager was trying and failing to be professional, either overly helpful or full on dirty looks at me in public. Not professional.

It was partially upheld. I’d resigned (shortsightedly) beforehand so lost some power there in terms of ways forward but either way, I wasn’t returning to work for her.

During the investigation I realised I was suffering with panic attacks regarding the job and situation, I had a bad one in public and it did definitely take its toll on me.

For those of you on here that are going through the same or similar, it’s hard going. I’m not sorry I stood up for myself and regardless of some of the comments on this thread regarding my reality, do seek advice and support on forums (and just live with FRS!)