Would you have been burned as a witch?

[Nonplusultra]

I’ve gone down a bit of a rabbit hole reading about the history of witch hunting and I never appreciated the sheer scale of it and how it has affected women for centuries since. It never made sense to me how much women have participated in their own oppression through the centuries, and even today. Why there are such different gender standards around beauty, appearance and aging.

All sorts of women were arrested, brutalised and sadistically tortured for weeks or months (not even necessarily for information because whether they confessed or not , or recanted made little difference) and publicly executed, sometimes horrifically.

The spurious grounds for arrest and interrogation included

being old, or menopausal, or just looking old (statistically most of the women murdered were over 40)

being ugly, unattractive, having bad teeth, scars or bruises on your face, a limp or bad posture, or using artificial means to look more attractive (false eyelashes anyone?)

Being poor, a drain on communal resources (on benefits?),

practising medicine (cater, midwife, nurse, doctor?),

having no relatives, or relatives who don’t like you (anyone estranged from family or not get on with the in-laws?), or related to anyone who might meet the criteria of witch

struggling with your mental health, or related to , or associated with someone with mental health issues

working for anyone suspected of witchcraft, or working for someone who is suspicious of witchcraft - not good to be too good at your job or not good enough. Also being made redundant was a dangerous time.

insolent, mouthy, argumentative, or just too talkative

involved in social unrest (ever been on a march or signed a petition?), expressed anti authority views (commented online?)

causing a man to be impotent (dh ever struggle to keep an errection?) or to lose control of his sexual urges (ever been a victim of SA or rape?)

sexually promiscuous (eg not a nun), knowing anything about contraception, or anything about abortion

likes dancing or drinks alcohol

Dressing in men’s clothing (own a pair of jeans?)

Illwished or cursed anyone (Fottfsof), or made occult signs (flipped the finger?)

And, if you’re a man reading this, knowing or being related to anyone fitting the above criteria could get you dragged in too.

So, would you be likely to be found guilty of witchcraft?

YABU - My conduct is beyond reproach in every way
YANBU - I might have ended up tied to a stake

Definitely. I'm menopausal, opinionated, take no nonsense (especially from men) talk to myself all the time and love cats.

Oh, and I've had a mole on the palm of my hand since childhood, which is a classic sign of being a witch, apparently.

www.instagram.com/p/Cv2K7OFo3f0/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

Here is my familiar - 2nd photo I entitled ‘Witches Starter Kit’

being old, or menopausal, or just looking old (statistically most of the women murdered were over 40) /

No!

2) being ugly, unattractive, having bad teeth, scars or bruises on your face, a limp or bad posture, or using artificial means to look more attractive (false eyelashes anyone?)

Annnnnd I’m dead

3) Being poor, a drain on communal resources (on benefits?),

No!

4) Practising medicine (cater, midwife, nurse, doctor?),

Also no!

5) having no relatives, or relatives who don’t like you (anyone estranged from family or not get on with the in-laws?), or related to anyone who might meet the criteria of witch

No!

6) struggling with your mental health, or related to , or associated with someone with mental health issues

Ha! Super dead!

7) working for anyone suspected of witchcraft, or working for someone who is suspicious of witchcraft - not good to be too good at your job or not good enough. Also being made redundant was a dangerous time.

My coworkers are insane so super duper dead

8) insolent, mouthy, argumentative, or just too talkative

Slap my ass and call me dead

9) involved in social unrest (ever been on a march or signed a petition?), expressed anti authority views (commented online?)

March or Petition? No! Commented online? Doing it now. Ding, ding, dead!

10) causing a man to be impotent (dh ever struggle to keep an errection?) or to lose control of his sexual urges (ever been a victim of SA or rape?)

No?

10) sexually promiscuous (eg not a nun), knowing anything about contraception, or anything about abortion

RIP Me

11) likes dancing or drinks alcohol

Here for a good time, not a long time!

12) Dressing in men’s clothing (own a pair of jeans?)

Do leggings count?

13) Ill-wished or cursed anyone (Fottfsof), or made occult signs (flipped the finger?)

Doing that right now (Dogs are mental)

TLDR

WITCH! (Except I dislike cats, birds, and all of the “usual” witchy pets)

Definitely. I'm autistic, into herbs/plants for healing, reclusive, devoted to animals, keep cats, regarded by others as 'weird' and have a poor dress sense. I'm really surprised my ancestors survived to pass their genes along 😂

Not sure...on the surface I am a nice middle class married mum, I'm even a regular church goer.

On the other hand I like to fix most minor ailments with herbal tea, arnica cream or a nice bath with essential oils so I'd probably get burnt too.

@YetAnotherSpartacus thank you, that reads beautifully and I couldn't agree more.
Nicola Sturgeon did this in 2022........
Nicola Sturgeon apologises to people accused of witchcraft https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-60667533.amp

@Rolypoly2961 are you taking orders for t-shirts?
I too would wear one with pride (if it was purple)

I've edited because I hadn't seen the exact thing a few posts down 🙄🤣 I apologise

I reckon I could cover up all signs of witchiness... with one unfortunate exception: my black cat. He'd give me away for certain as he's very affectionate, doesn't often leave my side and behaves more like a dog. I actually call him my "magic cat" as I'm certain he'd get me into trouble if I lived in a different century. 🤣

Agreed! Plus there were loads of grumpy , unmarried, old , gobby etc women. Tiny numbers were accused of witchcraft.

I have a third nipple (seriously). I definitely would have been in trouble! Unlikely to have been burned though (not a very English phenomenon), would most likely have been hanged.

@CustardySergeant cater should have read carer

I have a windows peak as well.

Im very left handed. Eating, cooking, chopping all with my left hand, right hand doesn’t do much useful.

@YetAnotherSpartacus wow! That looks like a white paper I would agree to. So articulate and necessary 👌

Yes definitely, it's something I think about fairly frequently.

I'm a single woman, not really interested in being in a relationship, I have a cat, I'm a nurse...

For men (assuming it was mostly men who convicted, tortured and then murdered these woman) there must be something truly terrifying about women that makes them kill them so brutally.

Even now I think I generate a lot of suspicion and some ridicule for remaining single.

I think my poor mum probably would have been as well, my dad left her and she's always been a hippy, she's even got a black cat 😬

The majority of women who have been harassed or sacked or disciplined, were also just quietly living a life until someone decided to create drama about a question they asked or a comment they made.

You don't have to do all that much as a middle aged or old woman, to attract negative attention.

Also you could argue that just by having the cheek to get old and not give men a boner or at least try to do so, is gender non-conforming.

Oh I would fry. 🔥

Scotland suffered terribly during the witch hunts, with the Church of John Knox behind most of it. Women WERE burned here,as well as hanged or tortured by the " witch prickers".
As well as the book I posted earlier,read "In Defence of Witches" if you are interested in the reality behind this abuse of women. Perhaps no coincidence that Scotland is once again at the forefront of eroding women's rights with it's ill thought out and hotly contested Gender Recognition Act.
Like a PP I would like to see this Halloween plastic tat of witches' hats and broomsticks abolished. The old celebration of Samhain was about honouring and remembering the dead, a chance for spirits to cross from one realm to another while the veil is thin.
Dont teach your children to dress up and mock the suffering of women who had done no wrong.

Nicola Sturgeon has a blooming cheek. If she had a chance , she would had all the wicked terven up for witchcraft if she could of got away with it. She would have been baking tatties in the pyres.

See username. I have a super intelligent black cat that I talk to. And she talks back.

I'm not biased, I also have a sweet dumb angel of a cat that I love equally. This black one is incredibly smart. She's an ex stray so I guess that selects for brains.

I would, I am pagan, straight on the fire for me 🤣

I’m a pagan and have been my whole life, I had an altar in my room even as a very small child, my parents just humoured me lol. I would 100% of been burnt at the stake

I'm from central Scotland so more than likely. I don't think it's been mentioned yet, but the Witches of Scotland podcast is brilliant and informative on this subject. It was the hosts that started the campaign for the pardon. And I can recommend "The Witches of Vardo" by Anya Bergman if "witch lit" is up your street. Sadly the real life accused in this part of the world were burned to death if convicted.

Me too...i live alone and love cats.

Almost definitely.