I can't fucking make my flat look clean and tidy. What can I do?

[FukZake]

We live in a small flat, just over 500 square feet. My mum died and I had to collect a load more of my things from their house, plus some of her own precious things that she left to me.

I'm sitting here trying not to cry because we have so much STUFF for the size of our flat and it doesn't work. There's nowhere to store things, to tidy them away, so now there is dust as well.

We have one large built in wardrobe for 2 of us, and 2 chests of drawers and that's it - our clothes are piled up on top of the chests and then we try to put non seasonal things in plastic storage tubs up high on top of the wardrobe.

I can never find the right thing I want to wear and have nowhere to even try putting out my cosmetics etc. I'm so fucking sick of how tiny the flat is but apart from size it is really nice and perfect location.

I clean the bathroom and kitchen of course so it is always sanitary but I've just had another go as we have someone coming over tomorrow and the bathroom and kitchen just look like shit because again there's too much stuff everywhere.

Is it just pointless to try to have a really clean flat as long as we have too much stuff for the size of the place?

I fucking hate the dust it is disgusting, I just feel really upset by it all today.

do daily jobs daily & then declutter. Do dishes daily!

The dishes get done daily. I will never leave dishes for the next morning as it depresses me to come down to a chaotic kitchen.

All the basic tasks like dishes and cleaning counters and cleaning the bathroom and laundry get done, it's not that. It's definitely the sheer amount of stuff overflowing everywhere, and not enough storage, that is the problem.

Agree, if you feel conflicted about throwing something out, take a picture

Get down to 2 towels each, 2 sets of bedspreads, 4 pens, 2 charging leads, just fewer of everything.

Honestly, I can't imagine living this way. Do some people really only have 2 towels each? What do you do when you have guests?

Or need extra towels for going to the beach/ you want to sleep on one as your period is heavy/ the dishwasher has overflowed and you need to mop up a small pond in the kitchen? All of these things are part of my reality!

Tbf, there isnt much point in cleaning without decluttering if what you are lacking is space. Can you take a week off and just blast through it?

I truly sympathise with your mums stuff, sifting lost parent stuff hurts. I strongly recommend, from experience, sifting out as much as possible in one go, dont think about where it is going, just if it is keep or dont keep, and be as ruthless as you can because it's really hard having to decide to get rid of the shoes or other things later on that you didnt part with the first time. If at all possible, have someone with you to actually move the stuff on when you have decided to keep or not and ask them to decide and take it to charity, recycling. If you do charity, do it a few towns away and choose one that meant something to you or your mum so you feel like something positive is being done in her name. I'm really sorry for your loss x

Is there any possibility of moving flat? It might be in a lovely location, and nice - but if it's so small you're feeling cluttered and overwhelmed with the amount of stuff, do you actually need somewhere bigger?

Renting a storage unit and storing out of season clothes / decor / some larger sentimental furniture might give you a bit of headspace to think things through for a bit? Sorry it sounds so tough on your end and like a lot of things are going on at once. It's easy to pick something obvious (clutter and mess) when feeling out of control in a situation and focus on that, rather than other less physical things. At least I find so anyway!

Read this:

amp.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/jan/14/how-to-declutter-your-life-marie-kondo-spark-joy

Hire some storage space to give you room to sort it out

Is moving elsewhere an option? Is renting a storage unit an option ?

It sounds like you just have far too much stuff though.

@FukZake do you have guests stay over regularly? We are minimal and we just use the good stuff. Otherwise we would spend most of the time using the 'bad' towels and I'm not a sucker for punishment! I think blood washes out and if I bleed on the good stuff or lose a towel i just replace it. I aim for practical stuff like darker colours though.

Bed linen - down to 3 sets: linen, cotton and brushed cotton.

I have decluttered over the past year. 3 people in our house. We have 2 large towels each and a few small towels. 2 sets of sheets/pillowcases per bed. Ditto in the kitchen - 6 large plates, 6 small, about a dozen small bowls. We have more in a cupboard packed away if we need more than 6 for when friends are here.

It makes life SO much easier. I actually kept all the extra towels and bedlinen for a few months to see if we’d need any of the extra. We didn’t!

@NeedTheSeaside is right. You need to listen to some of Dana K. White's podcasts. SOOO HELPFUL.

I absolutely feel for you.

I'm so so sorry about your mum. It must be really hard as you don't want to throw away her stuff but you can't have it in the living area taking up so much space that it stops you living your life.

Have you watched 'sort your life out' on iPlayer? That might help you xxx

I had a flat that size for 2
6 mugs, 4 plates, 6 glasses etc There is no room for loads of stuff.
I have about 4 foot of hanging space. I rotated clothes with the rest under the bed initially but now have largely got rid. Went from 40 pairs of shoes to about 8 etc
Sell it on Vinted- you can always buy again if you need it on there.
Dont bulk buy anything including loo roll.
Use kitchen cupboards carefully- bedding for sofa bed is in the kitchen cupboards in vacuums bags.

You asked about when you have guests - honestly I would ask them to bring towels and pillows if they're driving to you. Or buy on Fb marketplace then get rid when you have them.

I did a big cull of stuff recently and it feels so good and I can't remember anything at all that I got rid of.

If you're in London then some storage places do first month for £1 only to give you some place.

Command strips with little hooks inside cupboard door also helps

Could you put your non seasonal stuff in storage? I say this as someone who feels the same. The coats example is a good one- I don't feel I have excessive clothes but I am planning on packing all my summer stuff away and trying to find somewhere to put a case full.

I can completely relate to this OP. I have a very similar set-up: Big built in wardrobe and a small chest of drawers in the bedroom and that's the extent of storage. Livingroom always feels messy too due to wfh kit set up on dining table.

To make space in the bedroom, I've vacuum packed some things i don't need to access all the time - winter duvet, etc. Could that be an option for you?

Could you squeeze in a tall set of plastic drawers in the bedroom? I've done this and use them to store all my cosmetics, hairdryer, medicines, etc. I hate the fact that they're just plastic drawers and a bit office-y but at least everything has a place.

Is there any space under your bed or sofa you could use? I have a couple of large flat boxes that slide in and out easily.

Do you have coat pegs by the door? If not that might help free up a bit of wardrobe space.

I think it's honestly a case of looking for small wins wherever you can find them.

My husband and I used to live in a tiny one bedroom apartment so I feel your pain.

I swear by vacuum bags rather than storage tubs for out of season clothes. They take up much less room and can be stacked on top shelves of wardrobes or slid underneath the bed.

Then really focus on sorting some smart storage. I'm not sure if you own or rent, but if you own, swap out your bathroom mirror for a mirrored cupboard for example. Storage shops often have narrow trolleys with multiple drawers that can slide in little gaps and are great for toiletries or makeup. Little things like magnetic spice jars that stick to your fridge door can free up kitchen bench or cupboard space. You might have to spend a little bit it will be worth it.

Finally, don't throw away stuff you love or that has meaning as you will regret it. But be really honest about how much you do need. If you're in a tiny one bedroom apartment, do you really have guests stay the night? Do you really need many extra towels or sheet sets? Maybe cutting down to two towels each is too drastic but perhaps you could manage with 3 or 4 each which would also then cover guests? Just be really honest with yourself.

Finally. I second the car trick. I always took excess stuff to my car when I had people over. Just that stuff that you need in life but that makes things look cluttered.

Goodluck.

I can relate and felt like you till about two days ago. I am in a same size flat and luckily my winter coats and many books are stored at mum's. However, I am thinking to bring them here...the idea being to put them in crates and hide the crates in a corner with a screen divider.

I really regret decluttering before moving here, I wish I had kept stuff tbh. Be careful before you part with stuff.

Things that helped -

Accepting that I eat on the sofa with a lap tray, as do guests

getting two drop leaf desk thingies, I've put necklace hooks inside the bedroom one

Using storage cubes as tables eg but with a flat lid. I was lucky to get some Periea ones off QVC that have a lid which can be turned upside down to be a tray

Hanging these on the door - https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hanging-Wall-File-Folder-Organiser/dp/B09JT47V4Z/ref=pd_ybh_a_sccl_2/262-4073350-3414948?pd_rd_w=qZAml&content-id=amzn1.sym.8376088b-0f61-403e-bc7e-9463f4fe112d&pf_rd_p=8376088b-0f61-403e-bc7e-9463f4fe112d&pf_rd_r=DP83SYE4JHHMFTKCZQP9&pd_rd_wg=GHENF&pd_rd_r=9ed6c135-a655-4b8b-806f-23a01de44b66&pd_rd_i=B09JT47V4Z&psc=1

Hooks on doors for coats - not pretty but I have a lot of summer coats/hoodies and don't even have a proper wardrobe atm

Stacking things on windowsills

These things for phone, remotes, pens, they're stuck to the bedside table and TV unit

https://www.amazon.co.uk/QINREN-Wall-mounted-Self-adhesive-Organizer-Container/dp/B08R55LCXQ/ref=pd_ybh_a_sccl_1/262-4073350-3414948?pd_rd_w=qZAml&content-id=amzn1.sym.8376088b-0f61-403e-bc7e-9463f4fe112d&pf_rd_p=8376088b-0f61-403e-bc7e-9463f4fe112d&pf_rd_r=DP83SYE4JHHMFTKCZQP9&pd_rd_wg=GHENF&pd_rd_r=9ed6c135-a655-4b8b-806f-23a01de44b66&pd_rd_i=B08R55LCXQ&psc=1

To some extent, you have to accept the place won't look how you want as well.

Oh, and finally vertical storage if you have papers etc for working at home.

It took me a while to part with the cash for these sorts if things and I've been ill so it took me forever to decide how to do stuff, but that's how it is.

The Works have big storage boxes that look okay in the room

https://www.amazon.co.uk/QINREN-Wall-mounted-Self-adhesive-Organizer-Container/dp/B08R55LCXQ/ref=pd_ybh_a_sccl_1/262-4073350-3414948?pd_rd_w=qZAml&content-id=amzn1.sym.8376088b-0f61-403e-bc7e-9463f4fe112d&pf_rd_p=8376088b-0f61-403e-bc7e-9463f4fe112d&pf_rd_r=DP83SYE4JHHMFTKCZQP9&pd_rd_wg=GHENF&pd_rd_r=9ed6c135-a655-4b8b-806f-23a01de44b66&pd_rd_i=B08R55LCXQ&psc=1

the kitchen drives me nuts as I can't reach half the cupboards!

Well, the kitchen is a tiny corner of the lounge, so I can't reach two shelves but I could really use those!

sorry OP, I know it's crap and to some it sounds like "my diamond shoes are too tight" but I love my stuff, it brings me happiness and there's many things of my late dad's that I won't part with.

Uh... yes 😅 We have two sets of bedding per bed and two sets of towels. When guests come I make sure both sets of towels are clean and the guests just use the second set.

There are some towels in the kitchen for kitchen related things (again two sets).

Our beach towel is a compact quick dry one and lives with the travel items nested into our suitcase.

We also share one built in wardrobe between us. We just don't buy more things that can fit in it. If we want a new item then one thing goes to charity to make room for the new one. We have one winter coat each, one scarf each and I have a rain coat and denim jacket for autumn/spring/summer. Admittedly the unseasonal coats live on a rail in the guest room and not the main wardrobe.

We're pretty good at being minimalistic (even with a toddler!) but definitely have room for improvement when it comes to books etc.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and I'm so sorry for your loss ☹️
The only thing to do is to declutter. Go through every single drawer, cupboard, box, etc, one at a time. I promise you'll find way more stuff to get rid of than you realise. Even odd little bits and bobs like old chargers or kitchen gadgets you don't use will add up to a space cleared. Sell, give away to friends, donate, recycle. You'll feel so much better! And once you've decluttered your entire home, look at what storage you need.
If you need inspiration, watch Sort Your Life Out on iPlayer.
Good luck 💜

Marie Kondo method might help you. Her focus is only keeping the stuff you love. This feels more positive than getting rid of stuff. But, the result is the same

And once you start decluttering, you'll carry on. It's strangely addictive and satisfying

Google Marie kondo. You can probably get rid of half your stuff using her special decluttering method. Once you’ve had a mass chuck out, get the storage sorted so that everything has a home.

Also google capsule wardrobe to pair back clothing.