My dad retired and decided he wanted to buy my sister (32) and I (35F) our own houses, my property was originally to have a bigger budget as dad was going to put a smaller house/granny flat on the place he bought for me and it would essentially be for him and my family (partner and 3 young kids) eventually, he originally had no intention in moving with us for at least a few years. My place was to be on acreage, we looked and looked and as I had to keep in mind this was to be a forever property and needed to be a property both my family and my father could live happily it was very difficult to find something we could all be happy with let alone put a second dwelling on with council regulations etc. If it was just for us there are so many properties along the way we were looking that would have been perfect for us.
After a year we found a property, dad put down a deposit then someone offered more and they decided to go with them. Dad was pissed off and didn't want to increase his offer.
A couple months later Dad ended up finding a property in a county town 6 hours away from where we were looking to buy, right up to the auction I told my dad repeatedly we did not want to move there and to please not buy the property, he told me he didn't care if I liked it or not he was buying it. The place has nothing that I wanted in a place for my family except the acreage, the house is not big enough for us and theres not enough bedrooms and its hours away from our family/support system, my dad also isn't the type to help with our kids at all. I have chronic pain and can't work and we need our support system, my eldest son also has behavioural issues we are waiting to be diagnosed (suspected adhd) Dads opinion is that he got this place for us and its just too bad if we don't like it and don't want to move there thats our tough luck and we get nothing if we don't want to uproot our family and move all the way there. Dads moved there now.
Its not my money and I know if someone buys a house for you you should be grateful and I kind of felt like an ass right up until my sister tells me dad bought her her house in the suburb she wants to live in, somewhere my dad said there was no way he was buying a place near there, that it was overpriced and not somewhere he wanted her or any future grandchildren living. She never has to worry about him ever wanting to go live with her and he has spent the same amount on her house as he did on the property he bought himself.
Now he worked hard all his life he deserves to live where he wants but I can't help feeling now like its extremely unfair he went and bought my sister a nearly $2m house near the city exactly as she wanted it and where she wanted it and I was expected to move my family where he wants me to, it also massively hurts that he decided my opinion and what I wanted no longer mattered and he was going to just buy what he wanted and if I didnt like it thats just tough! when every property I looked at I tried to have everyones best interests in mind and looked at places with the thought when dad moves in with us will he be happy there. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for my sister however I still think its extremely unfair I ended up with nothing because I don't want to move my family where dad bought but my sister got exactly where and what she wanted and dad sees nothing wrong with any of this.
My sister also has no children or partner, makes more money than my partner does, has enough to go on at least a month or more long European trip each year, goes out regularly and isn't scrimping for money each week so its not like she was in need more for the house than we are.
So AIBU being extremely upset that my dad expects my family just to uproot our lives and leave all support we have to move where he wants us to? to a house we don't like, when he has bought my sister exactly where and what she wanted. Ive tried talking to my dad about it but he doesn't see my point of view he just tells me the kids can room together, its not terrible to have to live away from our other family and thinks Im being very unreasonable, he doesn't understand how what he's done could possibly be unfair.