To think that 'looks don't matter ' is a complete lie

[Petunia90]

It's just something people say, alongside 'money isn't everything '. However they absolutely do matter. They might not be #1 priority, but I'd be very surprised if anyone chose their partner without any consideration for how they looked. We're judged on looks all the time, rightly or wrongly, whether that be in relationships, job interviews and so on.

Perhaps I come across wrong, or you're perceiving me wrong, I'm open to either.

Fortunately for me, I am not at all into Barbie type women, in fact I prefer women who wear very little or no makeup... I want to see the REAL woman not some cakes up version of what the porn industry would like me to believe I want.

I want a woman with emotional intelligence not grade A tits, because that's what I value... you know what I value in a woman?

Emotional Intelligence
Curiosity (doesn't need to be mega smart)
A strong sense of right and wrong
Cares about herself and others
Loyalty
Some ambition (picked by her not society)

Those are but a few, I don't think those are shallow?

I don't care if she has a few extra pounds, I couldn't date someone who was obese, but I'm sure some people would! Just being "fat" isn't a problem though, I love chunky gals.

I'll be honest with you, it's not my looks I worry about so much as my stature and my very soft, warm and emotionally expressive personality, might sound like a great thing but I've always felt insecure in that it's not what I perceived women to want, I felt like women would think I was gay (I am bi, but cheating is cheating!) Because I have a bit of a feminine personality and a VERY expressive face. But I love these things about myself even though males try to bully me for it occasionally, and I'm now embracing my feminine side.

I ride motorbikes too and lift weights and laid slabs for my granny last week, I also fix cars....so it's not like I'm not masculine at all 🤨

There have always been women who go for your type of look, so I really doubt that's your problem. I'll bet my house it's your attitude.
Your self awareness is not strong.
Coming onto this forum and talking about women as Barbies, 'caked' in make up like porn stars, being explicit about how 'chunky' you like them, implying some choose to be ambitious due to societal manipulation that seemingly unlike you they can't see through...that is not a sign of emotional intelligence.
Its fine to have preferences, but an EI person would know that to use loaded and disparaging language to describe them to a thread full of women is not going to go well.
EI involves empathy. Thinking about the person you're engaging with and what they might warm to and what might be off putting or offensive. Focus less on the looks you think women want and more on the attitudes.

No mate, no particular individual was mentioned, noone is being singled out and lots of women on here do far worse in the form of man bashing. This is just you being overly sensitive and choosing to take offence where there's really none to take, but it's your right I suppose.

If you mean me, maybe think that through a little? I don't know you from a hole in the ground, and I'm not the person on here struggling to find a partner, so your opinion on women and how you express it is entirely irrelevant to me personally. Therefore, it doesn't make much sense that I would be overly sensitive to or offended by your comments, does it? The comments of a random woman with no skin in the game are about as close as you'll get to an objective view point. Take it or leave it mate.

Call me cynical but when some men pop up on these threads using the weird, IMO, language to describe women then talk about the difficulty they have in finding someone, and how sensitive and lovely they are, I often think that they're looking for someone to PM them.

I don't want anyone to PM me, that's your perspective but it certainly isn't mine, I'm merely contributing to the thread as anyone else.

What I've said in my posts isn't any more "anti pc" than what the average mumsnetter writes, I feel like I'm being attacked unreasonably just because I've identified myself as a guy. I'm entitled to write my thoughts and you have no right to self appoint as thought police.

Please do not communicate with me again if you can't engage in constructive debate and can only attack.
Just do not reply, do not respond to me I don't want to hear from you.