To ask what are the weirdest questions your kids have asked you.

[QuitChewingMyPlectrum]

In need of a little light relief tonight.
I'll start

1. Do wasps have balls?
2. Can turtles fart?
3. Is arthritis real or made up?

Mum, do you and Dad wear your swimsuits when you get into bed together?
😳

What's the capital of Crab? (After hearing someone ask, 'What's the capital of Wales?')

Do cats burp?

What holds the sky up?

😂😂😂

If we shaved the cat would his skin be stripey?
If he's a tiger then yes.

He’s a stripey blue tabby

What happens when you die? Do you just lie there with your eyes closed?

The latest one from DD (almost 4)-

'How long is fifteen?'

Not in the context of time, or anything - just out of the blue...

partners DD age 10 “who’s your favourite serial killer in real life?”

As per my username.

DD was about 6. Priest with a regional accent that pronounces schools as scoo-ills. Prayer about Catholic education. DD turns to me perplexed and asks 'Mummy, what are Catholic squirrels?'

Still makes me laugh every time I think of it 😂

Sitting in a deckchair in my gran's garden (London gran treat her small garden as a seaside resort during the hotter days of summer). My factor 50 smeared child gets up and walks slowly towards me. I focus. Pauses. Tilts head. Pauses.

"Why?"

'Why what?'

"Just why?"

Turns and goes.

"What is a bank account?" - surprisingly difficult to explain this concept to a 3 year old.

"Why is a circle?"

Not why is a circle round, or why is a circle called a circle, or anything like that. Just the existential pondering...

I countered with the classic "ask your dad when he gets home"!

"Mummy, were you evacuated in the war?"

Friend's parents currently getting divorced "does friend still have a dad"?

"When you die, can the cat live with me?" Haven't explained that I'm planning to outlive the cat

'That's an eddie izzard routine' Hahaha awkward.

Do cats have vaginas?

Do bees come out at night?

Were you alive when Grace Darling was alive?

I took my kids to visit my parents, DH needed to work so didn't come. My niece (2.5yo) was there for a few days as well. "Don't he have a daddy?" she asks about my son. "He does, he's just not here." "Oh. Is he dead?"

"you don't really love daddy because you don't get sad when you say goodbye in the morning"

Oh god, my eldest used to ask shit like this in the car, e.g. "how long is it?" And then get the absolutely flipping rage if the answer included an actual unit of time or distance. That was tedious!

This reminded me of a year 8 pupil who had had his hand up for a while. "Johnny" "WHAT?!?!" "You... Had your hand up?"

Dd8: Mummy, would you like to be buried or cremated?

Asked while she was watching me light our wood burner 😮I asked her why she wanted to know. She said she needs to know for future.

Why do we have eyelips?

Why that man got no face?

Would you rather be prodestant or lactose intolerant?

😂Fantastic, will make me chuckle for days.

Does tescos have a daddy?

Whales.