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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what are the weirdest questions your kids have asked you.

137 replies

QuitChewingMyPlectrum · 29/09/2023 23:12

In need of a little light relief tonight.
I'll start

  1. Do wasps have balls?
  2. Can turtles fart?
  3. Is arthritis real or made up?
OP posts:
Lucy Long Socks · 30/09/2023 13:48

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/09/2023 11:27

I think your daughter really wants to discuss this with you. Is he pestering her for sex?

Show quote history

I asked her that, thinking he may be constantly horny 😆. She said never once. It was a long time ago now.

ToWhitToWhoo · 01/10/2023 20:16

Poppysmom22 · 30/09/2023 07:43

My 9yo niece asked me - What would it be like if there were no countries?

Had she been listening to the song 'Imagine'?

ToWhitToWhoo · 01/10/2023 20:22

My favourite was being asked by a 3-year-old, 'If I kill you, will you be dead or will I be dead?'

I'm told that when I was about 10, I had a bit of an obsession with time, and asked my parents the following on different days:

'What would happen if time stopped?'
'What would happen if time went twice as fast?'
'What would happen if time went backwards?'

Poppysmom22 · 01/10/2023 20:42

Yes we had it led to a very insightful conversation where we concluded that people would congregate in places which are resource rich and climate stable and mankind would probably go extinct because we didn't diversify as a species

Findyourneutralspace · 01/10/2023 20:43

If we shaved the cat would his skin be stripey?

Newgolddream70 · 01/10/2023 20:45

'What's a bladder?' .... and when I explained to DS what it is he said 'but how does my wee know where it's going? Does it have eyes?' 😂

BarbaraVineFan · 01/10/2023 20:48

Almost 4 year old DD: 'When you die, can I die with you?' 😢😢😢

Findyourneutralspace · 01/10/2023 20:52

Have you ever considered being gay? It might work out better for you.

whalewise · 01/10/2023 20:53

When did you swap your head for a grown up one?

Susieblue18 · 01/10/2023 20:56

When my son was younger we drove past a graveyard and he asked me if that was where they made gravy, 😳

Georgeandzippyzoo · 01/10/2023 21:00

CoffeeLover90 · 30/09/2023 09:13

I've got all this to come 😂 DS 4 but delayed speech so questions started quite recently, none weird or difficult yet. Just Mammy Why is there no dinosaurs on your pants?

When I was younger I asked my grandad all the questions, was it black and white when you were at school? Where did clouds come from? How come fish don't drown?
Long before the Internet, he answered every question in detail, as much as he could and was never annoyed at me badgering him. If he didn't know, he would find out and tell me later.
I'm 33 now and I still save my questions for him 😊

My ds (then 3) was like that as a kid. One day we and were on the bus. He asked questions all the way into town. Each answer I gave illicited another, relevant, question.
As we were getting off an old man saud 'pet I'm sure he's a great kid but if he was mine he'd be doing my head in'.
Always happy to answer a question and to find out an answer if I didn't know x

Littleguggi · 01/10/2023 21:03

Is this real life or is it a dream?

It got me thinking too!

Plonkandplonkers · 01/10/2023 22:40

Littleguggi · 01/10/2023 21:03

Is this real life or is it a dream?

It got me thinking too!

Caught in a landslide/ no escape from reality

Twentynone21 · 01/10/2023 22:46

Do lions eat God?

Toughsteak · 01/10/2023 22:46

What do mermaids eat?

RicherThanYews · 01/10/2023 22:57

1st strange thing (shortly after he realised we are Catholic and I gave a brief overview of our beliefs) "I can't wait for armageddon".

2nd strange thing after a PSE lesson in school "I know what sex is for but ... what does the winky do?". I have never been more grateful for nuisance callers at the door on my life.

Topofthetowntoo · 01/10/2023 23:42

Do we say 'Mary Christmas' to people because Mary was Jesus' mum?

missingyears · 01/10/2023 23:46

I remember asking my mum"how do you get a baby in your belly?" And then immediately answered my own question "do you just tell god you want a baby in your belly and he gives you one?" I was about 6 years old

Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 01/10/2023 23:46

Are Jesus and Zeus brothers or best friends?

LuluBlakey1 · 01/10/2023 23:47

WaystarRoy · 29/09/2023 23:21

Why don’t cats have lunch?

Ours do- 3 meals a day.

LuluBlakey1 · 01/10/2023 23:50

Will we all be a fossil one day? (DS1 last week)
Do earwig babies look like their mummy and daddy? (DD)
Why does Grandad have hairy ears? (DS2)

jenpil · 02/10/2023 00:31

Peacendkindness · 30/09/2023 07:22

As a scientist - oil spreads itself to just one molecule thick on water

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All oils?

And does it do this every time it meets water....?

CoughingMajoress · 02/10/2023 02:16

GameOverBoys · 30/09/2023 08:50

Is there a capital countryside? And is it Yorkshire? (Like a capital city but for the countryside)
Said by my normally very intelligent 12 year old DD

York used to be the capital of England! And Winchester before it, and debatably Colchester. The history of capital cities in this country is interesting, actually - in terms of what defines a capital, and the difference between a legal capital and a de facto capital. I don't think that's a stupid question.

If we shaved the cat would his skin be stripey?
If he's a tiger then yes.

WaitingfortheTardis · 02/10/2023 02:59

Did you eat me?
(Asked in response to someone telling her she used to be 'in mummy's tummy')

Atmytethersend · 02/10/2023 03:36

My daughter was around 5 when she asked me why no one ever mentions the Reindeer called Olive.
Took me a while until I realised the words to the song 'All of the other reindeer' 😂🤣