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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask what are the weirdest questions your kids have asked you.

137 replies

QuitChewingMyPlectrum · 29/09/2023 23:12

In need of a little light relief tonight.
I'll start

  1. Do wasps have balls?
  2. Can turtles fart?
  3. Is arthritis real or made up?
OP posts:
YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 30/09/2023 05:29

Years ago when my youngest son was young (around 5 or 6) we were discussing bees, bee stings. I had told him that my brother is allergic to bee stings. I also told him I had been stung when I was kid and with complete seriousness he asked me "Did you die?"
Ummm, yes I died and I'm really a ghost lol

Autumnbear · 30/09/2023 05:40

More of a statement:- don’t be silly mummy you didn’t have gel pens when you were at school, you wrote with one of those funny feathers and ink

Autumnbear · 30/09/2023 05:41

Oh and when ds was 6 he got very upset ‘but mummy how could I have been in water in your tummy I couldn’t swim then’

Bigoldmachine · 30/09/2023 05:51

“Am I a real person?”

errr, I think so, kid?! She then kept asking how we KNOW we are real people and it tied my brain in knots. A bit deep that one.

DuranNotSpandeau · 30/09/2023 05:54

When DS was about 3, he was scared by a bee and I told him bees are great because they make honey (he loved honey).

"Do woodlice make jam?"

Tlolljs · 30/09/2023 05:59

What’s the average amount of farts people do in a day? He was in his 30s at the time.

marcopront · 30/09/2023 06:19

Are fennec foxes herbivores?

Snoopystick · 30/09/2023 06:23

If she pooed her pants would a dung beetle come along and tidy it up.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 30/09/2023 06:43

Why do some people who have hair buy wigs? This was 9 MONTHS after we were with my sister when she was trying in wigs in anticipation of her upcoming chemo sessions for breast cancer. He was about 6/7 at the time. Boy that kid ponders over things a long time before he finally asks me a question...

MuchuseasaChocolateTeapot · 30/09/2023 06:55

DD aged 4 explaining the nativity scene to me. “That is Jesus the baby, Mary is his mummy, those are the shepherds and that’s the angel, oh and that’s Joseph, his chef”
Me: “lovely darling, wait…what?”
absolutely true

Dontcallmescarface · 30/09/2023 06:56

My birthday is December 25th

"Mummy are you and Jesus twins?"

temperedolive · 30/09/2023 07:12

Why my son was about four, he asked me, "Why do you like men?"

It turned out he was trying to start a conversation about Spider-Man, and wanted me to say something about men running fast or jumping high so he could tell me that Spider-Man can do those things. But in the moment, he definitely gave me something to think about! "I don't know, Sweetie. I didn't get to choose."

Jitterybugs · 30/09/2023 07:18

When you were little was everything black and white? 😄

Peacendkindness · 30/09/2023 07:19

TheresaOfAvila · 29/09/2023 23:26

Did they burn grannies eyeballs? About 6 months after her cremation.

I had this during the ceremony - will their eyeballs pop and blood boil

to my father - alive but not a nice person so their grandfather. when you die can me pull your brains out through your nose and cover you in bandages and pull your insides out? (Doing the Egyptians at school) 😂

yesterday - where was I before I was conceived before the egg met the sperm ? Trying explaining about particles and we went down a rabbit hole?

why can’t we just save a load of money (on a funeral) and compost people like the chicken bits 😱
couldn’t the council have like recycling bins to throw your dead bodies in and do them on mass - would that not save money?

my child are weird

LittleBrownJug · 30/09/2023 07:20

DuranNotSpandeau · 30/09/2023 05:54

When DS was about 3, he was scared by a bee and I told him bees are great because they make honey (he loved honey).

"Do woodlice make jam?"

This is my favourite.

’how did I get here?’ DD age 5. At 3am. Erm I’ll get back to you on that.

Not mine but a friend’s child in the ‘why?’ stage: ‘Why do I keep asking why?’

Peacendkindness · 30/09/2023 07:22

QuitChewingMyPlectrum · 29/09/2023 23:46

I feel like this is maybe paper

Show quote history

As a scientist - oil spreads itself to just one molecule thick on water

Letitgonowgr · 30/09/2023 07:23

“How did I get here mummy?”
“Ah I know, you flapped open your boobie and I crawled out!”

“Yes… yes dear that’s it!” (He’s 4 I’m not ready to tell him how yet!!)

Letitgonowgr · 30/09/2023 07:24

Snoopystick · 30/09/2023 06:23

If she pooed her pants would a dung beetle come along and tidy it up.

If only lol!!

GaspingGekko · 30/09/2023 07:28

Spookymormonhelldream · 29/09/2023 23:24

What colour is the word 'medium'?

For me it is brown. Sounds like your child has synesthesia.

Dogsitterwoes · 30/09/2023 07:42

DuranNotSpandeau · 30/09/2023 05:54

When DS was about 3, he was scared by a bee and I told him bees are great because they make honey (he loved honey).

"Do woodlice make jam?"

Nah, that's an old Eddie Izzard routine.

SirSidneyRuffDiamond · 30/09/2023 07:43

As a very young child DS asked me "why is the sky?", but was very cross when I tried to pinpoint exactly what he meant.

Recently he asked me (he's 16 and very interested in political history) "who is your favourite Soviet leader?"

Poppysmom22 · 30/09/2023 07:43

My 9yo niece asked me - What would it be like if there were no countries?

Pebblesflintstoneandbambamrubble · 30/09/2023 07:46

Who are gods parents?

Dunno son,ask your grandad-he knows everything...

And while we're at it,please don't wake me up at 3am to ask...

doodlejump1980 · 30/09/2023 07:48

Do fish have armpits?

Augustone · 30/09/2023 07:48

'So mum, what are your balls for'?

From my 7 year old DS as we walked our newly neutered dog who was still wearing his cone of shame.