Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

anyone else a bit suspicious about this nursery whistleblower doc?

247 replies

minouminou · 05/03/2008 20:31

she doesn't half seem to be good at getting jobs
unless the buttons and mark warner jobs were 2 out of many she applied for

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:28

lol as long as you let me knoe the precious-mamas went North so i can go south

scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:29

nopenot guilty at all, nursery place booked at 12wk pg.happy to work FT

NiceTry · 05/03/2008 22:29

sorry 'fulltime' not 'sulltime'!

spicemonster · 05/03/2008 22:30

NiceTry - I don't question my decision to use a day nursery. But thanks for the guilt trip

minouminou · 05/03/2008 22:31

i'm not even remotely guilty....DS has a great time there, and i don't feel the need to justify or analyse my reasons
nice try at stirring things up, more like, now go polish your halo

OP posts:
blueshoes · 05/03/2008 22:32

Nicetry, nice to hear from you again. Trying to rustle up the guilt but failing miserably. I think co-sleeping with my dcs really helps. Along with a good nursery.

I know lots of mothers at home who are depressed and consequently providing less than adequate care. How is that for generalisations?

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/03/2008 22:32

I posted this on the other thread....

At the time of the nursery incident, I reported it to various people. One of those was Watchdog. I think that is possibly where they get some of their direction from.....

I had some problems with both a nursery and a childminder.

The nursery issue involved staff giving DD macaroni cheese for lunch, despite my explicit instructions about her not having any cows milk products because she was allergic. When I say explicit, I dont just mean stuff written all over the start up paperwork of which there was a lot of, but, something that I mentioned to DD's keyworker I think almost every morning when dropping DD off.

I'd been called to collect her on numerous occasions, because she had inexplicably vomited, and nursery policy was to send home or not have them for 24 hours. There was never any explanation as to why, and staff were adamant they were careful about what she was given to eat. DD was very rarely sick at home.

One day, I was called to collect her because she had been sick again. It took me an hour and a half to get there because I happened to be working on the other side of London that day and had to get 2 tube trains to get there - then a short car drive.

A week later, I was called again. DD had been sick - yet again. I received a terse message on my mobile stating that I needed to come and collected her as soon as possible because she had been sick, and, that I should get there much quicker than last time!!! I dashed off (was in South London again).

When I was about 20 minutes away, I received another call from the nursery manager. She seemed quite upset and concerned. She told me she knew why DD had been sick, and could I come as soon as possible, because it seems that DD was given macaroni cheese for lunch.... I was panic stricken and raced there. When I got there, DD was quite distressed, and, had been completely changed and her hair was wet. I asked why. It seems she had been laying down when she vomited for the second time! Why on earth she'd be laying down having already vomited once I have no idea. She'd had vomit all over her, and then her hair. Subsequently, the cheesy vomit had covered her face and neck, and the welts had started appearing all over the areas the sick had touched. Her keyworker was sat on the floor cuddling her, and all the other keyworkers were standing around, gawping. I went straight into the managers office angry and in tears. They hadnt even sought medical advice. The manager was crying too. (Although I suspect she was in fear of her job). I took DD to A & E myself where she was observed for a few hours after being given appropriate medicine. Subsequently, she was given proper monitoring with a paediatric consultant who specialised in allergies. An epipen was dispensed, and the nursery provided with one too, and training given to ALL staff.

When I complained, I have to say that the nursery responded admirably. The keyworker was sacked immediately on the day of the incident. (How can you NOT know that macaroni cheese, and, cheese itself, was made from milk???) Many new procedures set in place, and I felt somewhat reassured that, although a mistake had been made, it was less likely to happen again in that nursery because of the huge kerfuffle caused by this incident. I think, if I had taken her elsewhere, we would have been back to square one as far as highlighting her health isssues were concerned.

I sincerely hope the keyworker hasnt got further work with children. Her arrogance and lack of care was shocking.

With the childminder, one day we brought DD home and, did the usual milk and then went to take her to bed. She screamed blue murder. When we finally got to the bottom of it - it turns out the minder hadnt given her dinner! (DH had picked her up at 6.30pm!).
Then, a few days later, it transpired that DD and DS were being given ham sandwiches for their dinner and water. The excuse given - the minder was having her kitchen re-done (which she hadnt made us aware of). I was really disappointed with both experiences, to be honest. But, like many other families, we were caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. I had to work. No choice, financially. There is no family close by to help much.

Up until last year. Since that point, I have found a job close to family, which means my IL's had DD and DS (although DD now at school). My day is long, and involves a LOT of chasing back and forth (I think I spend about an hour or so a day driving to and from work, IL's, school and home).

It sucks that families are left with the best of a bad bunch sometimes.

I'm sorry this post is so hugely long, but it's hit a bit of a raw spot.

minouminou · 05/03/2008 22:33

ignore nice try, ladies
this isn't the 1st time i've seen this behaviour from him/her

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:33

still not guilty either!so precious moments mamas one way and ship em oot mamas the other suits me hope we dont meet on my MW holiday

PS use of terms like "unnatural" cheapens your argument

NiceTry · 05/03/2008 22:34

ScottishMummy, are you on this thread to defend your decision then or to ease your conscience?

scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:36

nope im sparkly clean but love a good ole scrap esp when we all resort tot he usual mantras.bring it on

blueshoes · 05/03/2008 22:38

nicetry, you are becoming a bit of a one-trick pony. Your question to Scottishmummy equally applies to you.

NiceTry · 05/03/2008 22:39

Hi minou, please don't ignore me.

scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:40

awww dont feed the donkey

VeniVidiVickiQV · 05/03/2008 22:41

oooh. is there history here?

stuffitllama · 05/03/2008 22:41

Sorry but this is not about the fact that there are bad nurseries, or that mothers go out to work.

This is about the fact that Ofsted inspection reports cannot be trusted. The Mark Warner thing is a real red herring.

Everyone knows that poor childcare is out there. One of the ways parents try to choose a good nursery is to check the Ofsted report. This programme says -- you cannot count on that.

drosophila · 05/03/2008 22:41

Veni I had similar experience. DS is highly allergic to many foods and as a baby was allergic to dairy ( thankfully grown out of it now). One day I went to pick DS up from nursery and he was swollen from head to toe and had red inflamed skin. They never even bothered to call me!!!! Of course they didn't mix up his bottle they said. Went from that hell hole to a nursery where he cried if he couldn't go and at 8 still talks about it fondly.

I think you usually know if your kid is unhappy even if very young but I think sometimes parents put it to the back of their minds or worry that a change may be to a worse place.

scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:43

Nope no history just usual mantras precious moments mamas Vs evil avaricious dont care bout the baby capitalist as they book another MW holiday

wannaBe · 05/03/2008 22:43

vvv .

I do think there's a lot of denial on this thread. It's easier to think that it can't all be true because by admitting that childcare is predominantly sub standard means that parents who generally don't have a choice have to admit to putting their children into substandard childcare.

The fact that there are good nurseries out there is irelevant. There are shockingly bad nurseries out there and whether people on here have put their children into such nurseries doesn't matter - people do put there children into bad nurseries because they either don't have a choice or can't afford a better one..

and often parents do not know what is going on while their children are at nursery/with a cm.

I'm sure the parent of the childminder that left her mindee asleep in her car on my driveway for 1.5 hours and only checked on her 3/4 times during that period is blissfully unaware, and the childminder who used to arrange for other parents to pick up her charges from preschool, and who used to leave her mindees in the car, out of sight, while she walked to preschool.

Reality is, when we put our children in the hands of strangers (and they are strangers) we can never be sure how they are being looked after. especially when they are babies who can't tell us.

I think it this programme just highlighted one bad nursery then that's still a good thing. and maybe parents will be more aware and nurseries will get their act together.

auntyspan · 05/03/2008 22:43

Lets face it NiceTry - when you become a parent you have an inherent guilt-wheel permanently installed in you - regardless of what you do and how you do it, at some point you feel guilty.

Show me a mum who has NEVER felt guilty and I'll show you a liar.

scottishmummy · 05/03/2008 22:44

please professor do tell me your evidence based empirical results that are peer reviewed

minouminou · 05/03/2008 22:45

VVVQ, your dairy issue was handled in quite the opposite way.....DS was given a croissant (butter, obv), and i got a call from the nursery manager as soon as the mistake was noticed...and i ended up reassuring them! (he's off dairy as a prophylactic measure)
your experience sounds ghastly..but just to let you know that there are decent places out there

OP posts:
spicemonster · 05/03/2008 22:46

I don't think anyone is denying there are some shockingly bad nurseries wannabe - I looked at five before I found one I was happy with. And there are some shit mums to be honest - my sister saw a mother at her school chatting with another mum last week while her six year old and his friend crossed the road without looking. It's the assumption that parents are automatically better at looking after their children than anyone else that annoys me.

And having said that, must get to bed, early start to get my DS to nursery tomorrow morning

NiceTry · 05/03/2008 22:48

Auntyspan I often feel guilty about bad decisions and try and make sure I don't make the same bad decision again. I do question my decisions daily and probably come on threads like this to ease my conscience (at least I can admit it). However, any mother who claims their 'instinct' told them to send their baby to fulltime daycare is lying. (I realise for some this is no option but at least admit that although you may search very hard for good care it will be inferior to yours!) SpiceMonster - if you feel guilty then you need to ask yourself why.

spicemonster · 05/03/2008 22:50

I don't feel guilty nicetry - I meant that I thought your post was trying to make me feel guilty

Swipe left for the next trending thread