Why do we love our children so much

[Sonetimeswishiwasadog]

Sounds stupid, but not trying to be.

I adore my parents obviously and love my Dh and friends, but the child love is just so strong and intense. Is it because we carried them/they’re our dna? This doesn’t explain parents with adopted children and obviously the same love they have for them. Is it because we nurtured them, they were small and helpless?
I honestly think I could forgive my Dd anything and wouldn’t say that for anyone else, not even my parents

Yeah, this. I don't relate to that either.

Maybe it's the same feeling but some feel it differently.

Or maybe it's a feeling you only realise when things go wrong?

I don't go about every day thinking of my undying love for my children. But if one was in a life threatening situation, I'd wouldn't hesitate to try to save them.

I love my daughter more than I've ever loved any parent, friends, pets etc. I love her so much it hurts.

My mother treated me awful before she died, I wouldn't dream of treating my daughter how my mother treated me. I don't understand how she was able to treat me so awful but love my sister so dearly. I will never understand it. I felt so unloved and my mother never told me she loved me randomly.

My daughter we tell each other lots of times a day we love each other. I trust my daughter more than I trust any other human. And she's 10 years old. She's saved me. And it's why I love her so much too.

Wait until you become a Grandparent.. when the children you love with all heart have their own children the love is overwhelming...
I am a mother of two daughters and gran of four Grandsons.. my heart bursts with the love l have for them all and l have never loved anyone as much as those six.

The total, absolute, unconditional love I have for my children is hard to describe. It’s something I never thought would be matched, but after recently becoming a grandma, I can honestly say that the instant, overwhelming love I felt for my grandchild is as strong as when I had my own babies. I wasn’t prepared for this!

Maybe for you lot it's nature, in my case it's just that my kid is the most fucking amazing person to every exist. 😁

Wait til you're blessed with grandchildren, never known love like it 💕and you give them back 😀

It’s your genes OP, you are just here to pass them on.

I don’t think it’s any different for adoptive parents because baby love is built on the need to push our genes onward, and it still automatically clicks in if the baby isn’t biologically ours. Plus the fact it makes sense for survival of the species if people are prepared to love other people’s children maternal death was so common.

Evolution.

I would lay down my life for my baby son. So would his daddy. He’s our universe. Just as he should be.

I wish I’d had parents like my DH and me. Our son is so lucky to be so adored 🩵

My son is my absolute world. I love him more than anything and I never imagined I could ever love another human as much as I do

I just think the fact my husband and I created him and he looks a lot like a mini version of my husband makes it so cute.

my real fear is of what would I do if anything ever happened to him. I only have one (I’m 41 so too old / scared to try for another) so I’d be beyond devastated

I have one dgc and would willingly take a bullet for them as well as my two dc.
Ddg looks wise very similar two my dc, so wonder if that contributes. I push my physical limits with childcare and my heart lights up when I see both dc and dgc.
One big difference, I worried with my own about how they would do in life, school success, the right partner, affording a house , good job and so on. With the little one, I just know she will be ok. Also learned that them being good, kind people matters the most.
I was mid sixties when little one arrived, only sadness is I won’t have fifty years with her and yes I know I am being ridiculous. Maternal love has been the strongest force in my life and has provided endless motivation in life.

Evolutionary biology, innit. You & me baby, we ain’t nothing but mammals and we are genetically programmed to protect our offspring which carry our genes. Just like a mare protecting her foal.

I'm a nan to an 8 year old and the love I feel for him is as intense as for my older DDs. Though he has lived with us a number of times and I see him every other day and he stays weekends so we have a very strong connection. I don't see him as any different to the girls I gave birth too.

To the people saying they love their nieces and nephews so much but have no DC, I'll be honest I used to think I'd do anything for my nieces and nephews but now I have my own DC it's not comparable in the slightest for me. They're worlds apart in my heart!

Let's say that there's a big old switch in the brain that's called 'parent'
Some people are natural parents and that switch is flicked from birth. Some people have a kid and that switch gets flicked.

Agree with this. That's why it's near impossible to explain to some childless people why we love them so much and are willing to profoundly change our lives, sacrifice everything.

I think cliches are helpful in describing this. I heard one that said it’s like your heart living outside your body when you have kids. I think that’s absolutely true. Mine could have the skin off my back. Not everyone feels like that though clearly.

i love all the children in my life and I’d die or kill for anyone of them and it makes me so sad how more and more people have such disdain for them.

It's funny I think that instinct to protect children has always been with in me. I suppose it's some sort of natural instinct thing to protect the young.

Of course some parents are shit, my own dad left when I was a baby and my mum let her parents raise me. She at least I think thought she was doing what was best.

My love for my son is something else. I love everything about him. IMO he is absolutely perfect.

I think part of it is they are so helpless and vulnerable our instincts kick in and we want to protect with every fibre of our being.

Only yesterday whilst we were closing up house for bedtime I stopped mid stride to tell Dh I bloody love our 6 yr old. At first he thought I was going mad as I just burst it out from nowhere I just had this massive gush of “love” feeling come over me.
he seemed to agree. We have adult children who sometimes test us and it’s nice to have the littleone remind us they were once this young and even nice sometimes.🤪

i don’t feel this love for anyone else not even my own mother but it makes me think that she must also have this level of unconditional love for me aswell-

@squashyhat What?

Blimey calm down.

I had my first child at 16 and the second night he had quite bad jaundice and had to go into an incubator with the goggles on etc. Having lived my life so far without a care in the world I looked at my little boy all vulnerable and burst into tears. I realised that from that day onwards I’d always have this worry that something would happen to someone I loved so much. It was mothers love shining through. He’s 30 in 2wks. I had 2 more children and love them to bits. I also think there’s nothing I wouldn’t forgive them for

YANBU.