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Original poster

To wear this to a posh do?

137 replies

HeadChog · 27/09/2023 21:20

DH and I are invited to a black tie event. It's a military dinner (but we are both civilians) and there will be a senior member of the Royal Family there.

Dress code is uniforms for the officers, and black tie for civilian men. Civilian women are to wear long evening attire, or black tie equivalent.

This is the best dress I own. Will it do? I wasn't worried about it until I found out there would be royalty there, and now I'm worried it's not dressy enough. Help!

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/julissa-ruffle-wrap-midi-dress-22180560010.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=ltxqwmaqm&istBid=t&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=19651720071&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=19651720071&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpc-oBhCGARIsAH6ote9wQNHB-PhClO0MLFh9QfIQanyhkuj6GWO8f3BNE72O9LJlUOOGrhYaAoXBEALw_wcB

Julissa Ruffle Wrap Midi Dress |

Our much-loved Julissa dress is back in a brand new bold colourway. A layered frill hem adds impact to this elegant wrap dress, which is framed by softly fluted sleeves and is finished with a matching waist tie to highlight your silhouette. Wear with s...

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/julissa-ruffle-wrap-midi-dress-22180560010.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=ltxqwmaqm&istBid=t&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=19651720071&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=19651720071&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpc-oBhCGARIsAH6ote9wQNHB-PhClO0MLFh9QfIQanyhkuj6GWO8f3BNE72O9LJlUOOGrhYaAoXBEALw_wcB

OP posts:
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21
Papillon23 · 29/09/2023 13:12

PricklyPineapple · 29/09/2023 12:25

I think there’s also plenty of rules for men wearing black tie to these kinds of events - imagine if someone turned up in jeans or sneakers 😂When my DP went to a similar event a few years ago, he had to hire a tux as the suits he had weren’t dressy enough. This thread is about womenswear, and I’ve also been told no open toed shoes and covered shoulders for a similar event that I’m going to next month.

Edited
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I tend to think if they want people to wear something that isn't black tie they shouldn't put black tie as the dress code though.

Black tie doesn't generally require floor length gowns, covered shoulders or closed toe shoes.

Frodofeeling · 29/09/2023 13:14

SharonEllis · 29/09/2023 12:00

What on earth is wrong with open toed shoes?!! All these rules for the women but none for the men.

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You're kidding right? You think there are no rules around dress for men at formal military dos? 😆

Frodofeeling · 29/09/2023 13:16

Papillon23 · 29/09/2023 13:12

I tend to think if they want people to wear something that isn't black tie they shouldn't put black tie as the dress code though.

Black tie doesn't generally require floor length gowns, covered shoulders or closed toe shoes.

Show quote history

Anyone in the military would know what it means though and this will be for them and their guests

RuthW · 29/09/2023 13:19

Dress is lovely but I think you will be underdressed

Frodofeeling · 29/09/2023 13:20

SharonEllis · 29/09/2023 12:00

What on earth is wrong with open toed shoes?!! All these rules for the women but none for the men.

Show quote history

I'd love to see a man turn up to a black tie do in open toed shoes or bare shoulders 😆 If anything there are more rules for them

OhComeOnFFS · 29/09/2023 13:28

Yes but I think men could turn up in exactly the same outfit every single time.

Justcallmebebes · 29/09/2023 13:29

I like it but not for a black tie event

Frodofeeling · 29/09/2023 13:30

OhComeOnFFS · 29/09/2023 13:28

Yes but I think men could turn up in exactly the same outfit every single time.

So could a woman, there are definitely no rules against that, we do that to ourselves. Actually I have one black tie dress that I've been wearing for the last 15 years.

Maddy70 · 29/09/2023 13:33

Needs to be floor length and much dresser

cardibach · 29/09/2023 13:37

It’s a bit irrelevant whether black tie means cocktail length or not when the OP has said herself the dress code includes the phrase Civilian women are to wear long evening attire. That it also says ‘or black tie equivalent is outweighed by this I think - the organisers would prefer long. I’d wear long

Papillon23 · 29/09/2023 13:57

cardibach · 29/09/2023 13:37

It’s a bit irrelevant whether black tie means cocktail length or not when the OP has said herself the dress code includes the phrase Civilian women are to wear long evening attire. That it also says ‘or black tie equivalent is outweighed by this I think - the organisers would prefer long. I’d wear long

Doh! I had totally missed that. That was exactly the sort of thing I was thinking it should say if they want long dresses.

FarEast · 29/09/2023 14:13

Lovely dress, but not formal enough. Gorgeous colour - why not try to find something in that colour? It would look amazing with short grey hair especially if you get a striking (ish) haircut (a pixie cut if you think you could pull it off?)

But if you can avoid it, don't buy polyester - see if you can find something nice in silk. It really does make a difference.

PinkFootstool · 29/09/2023 14:33

CatMattress · 29/09/2023 14:28

All home /special occasion dress - Vinted

If you wanted sparkles (and sleeves?) I found this on Vinted...

I'm wearing a green and gold version of this exact dress to the Christmas Ball this year! 😂 So IMO, it'd be perfect.

Notquitegrownup2 · 29/09/2023 14:49

Last 2 black tie events I've been to I popped into the local charity shops and spent £10 - £20! It can be done.

MrsMarzetti · 29/09/2023 14:57

No, no suitable at all. Phone the mess you attending and ask.

Snowontheroof · 29/09/2023 15:04

One of my favourite charity shops is in a village near the local army camp. There are always lots of lovely evening and cocktail dresses for sale there - donated from people at the camp. Maybe not a good idea to buy one to wear at a do in the same camp though... 😁

Some chains of charity shops do have a branch that specialises - for instance there's a local Oxfam with a bridal section. Maybe there's one near you that does formal wear?

Stravaig · 29/09/2023 16:35

@Graciebobcat Definitely worth inquiring! Else store safely, just in case?

(At fifty-something, I'm more nonchalant about unforseen changes in body shape than I used to be :)

NewName122 · 29/09/2023 17:11

I love the dress. It's very expensive!! I wear much much cheaper versions on a standard day. Yours is obviously better quality than mine though. I wouldn't say this is a black tie event dress sadly.

Jandob · 29/09/2023 17:55

Best to hire something so you feel better about it. Long means long, sorry.

pickledandpuzzled · 29/09/2023 18:58

Lovely thread, lots of great advice and generally supportive and avoiding point scoring.

im really looking forward to your event, now! Have a wonderful time- and do come back with the winning dress! 😁

Sorrytomoan · 29/09/2023 19:02

TomatoSandwiches · 27/09/2023 21:47

I personally wouldn't opt for purple either, not with Royalty attending but that's just me.

Why not?

Mikimoto · 29/09/2023 19:33

If it's Consort Parkher-Arse, you'll be fine whatever you wear, as long as you have 20 Marlborough to hand round.

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