To wear this to a posh do?

[HeadChog]

DH and I are invited to a black tie event. It's a military dinner (but we are both civilians) and there will be a senior member of the Royal Family there.

Dress code is uniforms for the officers, and black tie for civilian men. Civilian women are to wear long evening attire, or black tie equivalent.

This is the best dress I own. Will it do? I wasn't worried about it until I found out there would be royalty there, and now I'm worried it's not dressy enough. Help!

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/julissa-ruffle-wrap-midi-dress-22180560010.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=ltxqwmaqm&istBid=t&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=19651720071&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=19651720071&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpc-oBhCGARIsAH6ote9wQNHB-PhClO0MLFh9QfIQanyhkuj6GWO8f3BNE72O9LJlUOOGrhYaAoXBEALw_wcB

If you can afford to buy something new, Phase 8 do a black tie collection and quite often have sale prices on it. Even full price they’re not much over £200.

I would also be going for something dressier regardless of the white tie / black tie rules.

I also think it’s fine. Woman are moving away from full lengh for black tie.

The last one I was at, woman either had the full nylon stretch dresses that looked very worn and out dated, or worn shorter glamorous dresses and heels.

I like your dress. I would wear it to a black tie even.

My next one is a few weeks - I’m going knee length

Thanks everyone - very helpful insights.
I do have some sparkly heels, matching bag and statement necklace and a fur wrap, but I think this will be my plan B in case I don't find anything better in the local hire places.
I will also check out Phase 8 although would rather not part with £200 this close to xmas.
I tend to follow the rule "if in doubt, throw it out" (not literally but the fact I wasn't sure means it's not quite right for this occasion).

I think you could find something more black tie

Is there a base near you? Quite often near Christmas people will buy and sell the dresses they wore for mess dos the year before so if you ask on Facebook you may be able to pick up something suitable second hand and save some cash that way?

White tie is floor length
Black tie can be cocktail dresses or floor length. Recently the trend is definitely not floor length but stylish shorter length. I think it would be perfect with a wrap, good shoes and some fine jewellery.

Full length can look too try hard these days.

I have been to three black ties this summer and the most stylish women there were not wearing sequin dresses to the floor but silk cape dresses to the knee.

Can you pop into nearest TK Maxx and have a look for floor length dress?

It’s quite plain and boring imo

I think you can get better Op!

Army black tie is floor length, it’s not the same as normal black tie, it’s more formal. Have a lovely time OP.

Traf Night dinner with royalty? Definitely shoulders covered, floor length. Enjoy the spectacle, you'll have a great time.

It’s fine for black tie. As pp have said, black tie is less formal than white and knee length or longer is ok.

However, many people won’t know this and will assume black tie means a long dress. So the only risk is you’ll feel underdressed in comparison to other women.

What “with Royalty” means exactly? If they are going to greet everyone personally, I’d go for more formal dress (what would you want to look like on the photo with Royalty). If they are only going to see you from afar at your table, as pp suggested, make sure your shoulders are covered. Your dress is very nice, would suit for the second option. In any case,, the main thing is enjoy yourself.

I might wear that to a regular black tie event where women's wear seems a lot more mixed, but your event sounds far more formal. As @Oohmontydon suggests, you could hire something appropriate if you're not likely to be needing a black tie dress again? Yours is lovely and would be OK for a lot of events, but military and senior royal, it's not this time.

Most of the dresses I've worn to black tie have been very long, but I am very short and it just happens...

I think you'll get away with it if you accessorise it up but personally I'd get something a bit glitzier. Your dress is a bit more daytime wedding. I love it though, colour is gorgeous.

It wouldn’t be a complete faux pas, imho, but floor length is whats expected

Might be wise to brush up on your sea shanties too!

Nice dress but I'd say too casual and as the invitation says long, then I'd go floor length.

Not sure if it's still the case but at military dinners shoulders used to have to be covered.

I'm only married to a Senior Rate, and I wouldn't wear that dress to a military evening do - floor length, shoulders covered are the basics the SR Mess seem to go by.

For black tie and Royalty as a guest I'd definitely look for a floor length gown of some sort. I usually wear something well fitted with a faux fur coat for the walking around part! I like to have my nails done, but I do my own make up and hair. I think I was the only woman there last year without a proper "up do", but I'm going to keep being me on that front! 😁

Aw, that'll be a great night if it is!

Might also want to be aware of the volume of port you'll be poured for toasts, and as a woman, don't try to pour any yourself - you should be waited on hand and foot 😁

For a regular black tie work dinner I'd say no problem for that dress. But for the particular event you describe I'd get a long evening gown.

I've got this stored away and would happy to pass it on if it's any good to you. Size 14 Joanna Hope dress, have had it since 2018 and have worn it for two dos.

That's very kind of you @Graciebobcat and a very nice dress, but I am more likely size 12, and don't suit black.
I'll be looking for something in navy blue or dark green I think. Many years ago I tried on a sparkly navy blue floor-length gown, but balked at the price (it was £125 which seemed like a fortune when I was 23). Maybe I'll pay myself back for being prudent then, and get something similar now.😀 Off to Phase Eight tonight to have a try.
(You might see I have gone from planning to wear something I already have, to renting, to buying new in the space of 14 hours. This is because you are all making me increasingly excited about the dinner!)

Next worry is hair. I have a short, greying crop. I like it for everyday, as it's smart and professional, but it's hard to dress up. I have a feeling a tiara from Accessorize would be a faux pas at this event. Might just do a nice blowdry and have interesting jewellery to detract from it!

The dress is actually navy blue, but yes it will likely be too big on you.

Blow-dried grey crop sounds great, and a good chance to show off dangly earrings.

I'm excited that you're excited! I hope you have a wonderful evening and feel happy in whatever you wear. You will most likely be assigned a host to accompany you and whose responsibility is to make you feel welcome. So, if you do feel uncomfortable, that's down to them, not you!

Military dinners can be stunning, with all the regimental silver on display, and each regiment has its own traditions (eg, some don't stand for the National Anthem because of "loyalty unquestioned"). Just enjoy the spectacle, don't touch the port and have a great evening.