To wear this to a posh do?

[HeadChog]

DH and I are invited to a black tie event. It's a military dinner (but we are both civilians) and there will be a senior member of the Royal Family there.

Dress code is uniforms for the officers, and black tie for civilian men. Civilian women are to wear long evening attire, or black tie equivalent.

This is the best dress I own. Will it do? I wasn't worried about it until I found out there would be royalty there, and now I'm worried it's not dressy enough. Help!

https://www.phase-eight.com/product/julissa-ruffle-wrap-midi-dress-22180560010.html?istCompanyId=c38fe7a0-ffd0-4925-94b3-cff8df449484&istFeedId=5a41320b-c741-4d1e-b90d-1091450d147c&istItemId=ltxqwmaqm&istBid=t&cq_src=google_ads&cq_cmp=19651720071&cq_net=x&cq_plt=gp&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=19651720071&gclid=Cj0KCQjwpc-oBhCGARIsAH6ote9wQNHB-PhClO0MLFh9QfIQanyhkuj6GWO8f3BNE72O9LJlUOOGrhYaAoXBEALw_wcB

Why don't you hire something, it doesn't sound like you would use a dress you might buy for this again any time soon.

GINA BACCONI - Clara Metallic Maxi Dress hire UK hire at Girl Meets Dress Cocktail Dress hire, Designer Dress Hire and Prom Dress rental

maybe something like that if you have to have shoulders covered?

I'm presently selling this long dress from Coast on Facebook marketplace if you're a size 10. Worn once for an event at the Tower of London with white pashmina wrap

@Graciebobcat Gosh, that's lovely! It ticks the formal wear boxes, whilst somehow conveying 'freespirited glamorous person' rather than the default sex object or princess vibes.

@OldieButBaddie

I wouldn’t be hiring a Gina Bacconi dress. These are about the same price to buy as to hire.

https://www.johnlewis.com/gina-bacconi-izetta-fit-and-flare-maxi-dress/navy/p109855235

https://www.johnlewis.com/gina-bacconi-sharla-cape-maxi-dress-navy/p110006607

Or the minuscule price of £39.99 brand new GB dress on ebay.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/394892278224?_trkparms=amclksrc%3DITM%26aid%3D111001%26algo%3DREC.SEED%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20160811114145%26meid%3Da4c695d58e4e4411bd565c3854addbec%26pid%3D100667%26rk%3D1%26rkt%3D8%26sd%3D394892278224%26itm%3D394892278224%26pmt%3D0%26noa%3D1%26pg%3D2351460%26brand%3DGina%2BBacconi&_trksid=p2351460.c100667.m2042

I really like it but it’s not floor length.

I think you would feel happier in something full length.

Military black tie means shoulders covered/floor length. Have a wonderful evening OP - I have been to many a mess do and they’re a good time generally.

Way too casual and it's not floor length!
This is only £2!

www.vinted.co.uk/items/3530020443-evening-dress 

www.vinted.co.uk/items/3534536365-vesper-size-12-navy-occasion-dress 

www.vinted.co.uk/items/3527763972-glittery-navy-formal-dress 

I got a phase 8 floor length dress for £10 on vinted have a look on there some lovely dresses 😊

I’m going to something similar next month and need a dress with covered shoulders and floor length. I’m on a massive budget at the moment so searched eBay / Vinted and got a gorgeous gown style dress (would have cost hundreds new) and a pair of shoes (all my heels are sandals or peep toe which apparently also isn’t okay for the event I’m going to!) I spent £70 in total and can always resell after the event if I don’t think I’ll wear them again. I would do something similar - a friend went to the same event I’m going to last year and opted for a shorter dress and said she felt really uncomfortable all evening. Enjoy the dinner!

Don't forget places like Brand Alley and Otrium if you want new but don't want to pay full price.

Army black tie is floor length, it’s not the same as normal black tie, it’s more formal

Absolutely this.

I can tell you as an army wife to an veteran officer it is perfect

I would agree with this from my limited experience of officers mess dinners in the past. This is an "important" black tie dinner if a senior royal is going to be there.
I'd go for something simple but long and upper arms as a minimum covered.

TBH you should be able to find a simple long (floor length) black or similar conservative coloured dress on eBay or Vinted for not a lot that will be perfect for this.

I think that rule went out in the 1500s. Do not worry about wearing purple.

No and IME military dos are one of the last places where these rules matter. You'll also need covered shoulders for dinner and closed toe shoes.

Generally speaking, at events like this, it's always best to be SLIGHTLY overdressed than underdressed.

What on earth is wrong with open toed shoes?!! All these rules for the women but none for the men.

Thank you @Stravaig I've worn it twice to the same very male-dominated event, as most men don't notice if you wear the same dress twice and I do love it.

I would get another wear our of it but I've lost some weight and I'd need a 12 now, and I don't think it could be easily altered with all the beading, but I could ask someone.

Actually the there are huge rules for the men and also for anyone in the military - male or female wearing rig. We're only talking about female guests in this thread so far.

Add in the protocols for all attendees....

I think there’s also plenty of rules for men wearing black tie to these kinds of events - imagine if someone turned up in jeans or sneakers 😂When my DP went to a similar event a few years ago, he had to hire a tux as the suits he had weren’t dressy enough. This thread is about womenswear, and I’ve also been told no open toed shoes and covered shoulders for a similar event that I’m going to next month.

You're so right! My dad always used to attend mess dinners dressed exactly as he pleased - lederhosen (without a shirt), flip-flops and a sombrero. As he said, rules were for women.

Op these are a few from www.sexyher.co.uk

Very reasonable prices & the dresses I bought for my dds were lovely & good quality.