Friend took advantage of house sitting?

[Champgal]

I recently went away for a few weeks and a friend of mine and her partner stayed at the house to give my cat his daily medication he needs. Friend always likes to stay over as she lives in a small single bed flat with her partner and I live in a 3 bed house with garden so she says it’s like staying in a nice air bnb for a while. While it’s a nice favour that she looks after the cat, I returned to find that my car keys weren’t where I left them. I asked her about this and she said she used the car for a friend to give her some driving lessons in. This was never discusses and I also found the tank to be almost empty considering I left it with half a tank. I also found out from another friend that she hosted small get together a with friends. Though nothing was broken or got out of hand, I can’t help feel that it’s taking the piss a little. All my bath bombs I got in a set for my birthday were used and she had also forgot to take the recycling out for three weeks and the bin was overflowing, resulting in an awful smell when we came home. Should I say something? Or do I just ask someone else next time and not mention it? Or am I just being fussy and should I just be thankful for the help.

You should be pissed off with both of them but she's your friend, she's the one you had an agreement with, it doesn't actually matter that she's a clueless airhead who apparently had no idea that driving without insurance is illegal regardless of whether you have a licence or not WTF I don't buy that for a single second she still knew she didn't have permission to use your car.

Using someone's car to give a friend driving lessons without even asking is WILD!!

Clearly she’s one of those people who refuse to take any responsibility for their actions and if caught out, lie to your face.

I’d cut her some slack if she was 5.

She let her bf have the car- he took her to and from work in it without question- and more.

Have you checked if your cats still alive? 😩

You say you don't want to lose her friendship (over "hypotheticals" too, even though she didn't hypothetically use your gifts, leave your kitchen full of rotten food packets, and joyride in your car!).

However, she is a top-tier CF with no respect for your possessions. She has told you - in so many words - that she sees nothing wrong with what she did, so she will not react well when you tell her that she won't be staying again.

I guarantee the friendship will sour at that point anyway so you might as well go out in a blaze of glory now.

I don't pay friends who stay at our house while we're away. We live in a 7 bed house in the middle of nowhere, they'd rather pay us. I still don't expect and wouldn't tolerate them using my car for a learner to practice in, leaving bins overflowing or having friends over (unless asked-I'd say yes). It's basic decency to not do any of those things

Insurance is as much her responsibility as his, not knowing is not a reason. They have both committed insurance offences.

It's way beyond no insurance, it's TWOC, part of the theft act IIRC, taking without owners consent.

Personally I would be going to the police, who knows what they got up to which might come back to bite you in the arse further down the line.

@beastlyslumber but that's my point! She wasn't looking for a house sitter. She was looking for someone to feed her cat.

The cheeky fuck decided she would house sit.

You can't compare the cost of house sitters as that's not what the op wanted or needed.

Unless she's 12 that's not an excuse and you know it.

She's an adult. Come on. She knew it was fucking wrong.

She just didn't care if you got into trouble.

Fuck me.
Myself and partner once house sitted for a week in a popular tourist spot (saved us hundreds). We didn’t touch her stuff, left her food in the fridge and made sure the place was cleaner than when she left.
I would be absolutely raging if I came back to a stinky house and found that my car had been heavily used by a learner driver with no insurance.
And she had the audacity to “justify” her actions by saying she would have paid if anything went wrong?! That’s OK then - I’m sure the family of the pedestrian she mowed down would accept £50 quid and a bath bomb eh! Your friend is a chancing muppet who has no respect for you or your belongings. Put her in the stinking bin.

The car thing was bang put of order, everythinh else was ok.i think you are a bit up yourself, she is the one doing you the favour!

I’d bring up the car. She probably wasn’t insured for this. The rest I’d drop. If she helps with the cat when away I wouldn’t want to loose this. I think you’d struggle to find someone else trustworthy for three whole weeks.

Yes, this exactly. You trusted HER to be in charge of your house/cat/car, not her partner. Even if you believe that she was 'clueless' about it (which I don't), it was up to her to double-check/get him to show her that he was right. It's a simple task for her to look up the basics of secondary car insurance or ask him to point her to the relevant text.

Not only that she's a CF of the highest order and used your home as an airbnb (I wonder if she actually took care of the cat!!), but the car part is completely illegal and just because nothing happened, it doesn't make it better. The moron was just lucky.

You mentioned the car needs a service. What's the betting it will need a new clutch?

Let's hope parking or speeding tickets don't come rolling in, either.

Don't lend her the keys to your Mexican house.

She’s not “clueless” about how car insurance works and she wasn’t “under the impression” it would be allowed.

A child knows you can’t take someone’s car keys without permission and drive around in their car.

Come on op she’s playing dumb because you’ve caught her out.

That's not a proper excuse for an adult.

If this is true, why would you want to be friends with such a dopey twat?! I wouldn’t trust somebody so clueless to take care of my cat.

What if she had crashed your car ? And I bet they have done it before . Inviting people round is out of order too . This is your home you don't know the character of these people. Using your bath bombs is rude I would just stop seeing this person . She's not a friend .

Her level of irresponsibility and lack of forethought is off scale; ignoring the unlawfulness just for a moment, she flippantly told you she'd have covered the costs if "anything happened". Well, what if that anything that happened involved the death or permanent disability of an innocent person?

I would be evaluating that friendship and I wouldn't be trusting her to look after any pet of mine.

If she's learning to drive there's something she needs to understand. It's driving without insurance that is a criminal offence, not "allowing someone to drive your car without insurance". The driver is responsible, not the owner. She's the one who was uninsured. Her boyfriend must know this.

If she'd been stopped by the police she could have got taken to court for driving without insurance and taking your car without your permission. These are criminal offences, nothing to do with who pays for what, and you wouldn't have been guilty of anything at all.

I’d be raging. It’s even worse that she has “shrugged it off”. How was going to ensure you didn’t go without a car if she’d crashed it. Buy you a new one? To be delivered next day?

She is a selfish arsehole who has been playing house. I would care about losing this friendship. She doesn’t. Otherwise she’d be apologetic.

She and her partner are out of their minds. She says she’d pay if she did anything - what if she knocked down and seriously injured a pedestrian? Is she going to pay a £2m personal injury claim? Of course you would explain that you did not give her permission to drive the car under any circumstances but it would have resulted in a whole world of stress and hassle for you if anything like that had happened.

And of course if she’d “only” done £5k of damage to your car you’d never have seen a penny of that, I’ll be bound.

For this alone I would never, ever let her anywhere near my house or cat again.

Does she even have any idea of how much "covering all costs" could be if she had an accident? And that's without the driving with no insurance being illegal!!

Plus if she got stopped then she'd have no valid insurance and the car would be seized - and I think you only get 7 days to retrieve which if you are away, you can't do!!

You say you don't want to lose tje feindship bit I'd find it hard to remain friends with someone who did this

Allowing someone to drive your car without insurance is also an offence, called permitting.