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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

It's a neighbours and driveway dispute one. Who IBU

142 replies

Whatthematter · 26/09/2023 19:28

Name changed as the the diagram required is very outing. No idea if my neighbours post on mumsnet, but if they do, hello!

4 houses all bought at the same time. The dotted yellow area was agreeed on purchase to be shared between the 4 houses. This is marked on land registry and the land is split between the 4. There's the right agreements in place for access to the yellow bit only. Fairly common in these kind of sets ups. It was explained when purchased any changes to this land would have to be agreed by all parties and costs etc. Shared equally. It was also explained that access must be maintained.

The yellow bit is gravel. The gravel wasn't well installed by the builders and as gravel does, it spreads a bit. Its also larger gravel not pea shingle type gravel. So a little more annoying generally.

When they moved in all the houses discussed potentially swapping the gravel to block paving. Nothing was formally agreed, but there was a consensus it may look better. But no one wanted to do anything until the rest of the development was complete. There was also some concerns about cost and finances as several parties explained they didn't have the money to hand.

So now to the Who IBU question.

Houses 2, 3 and 4 are now wanting to get the blocked paving done. They've been getting quotes. However house 1 are saying they no longer want to do the driveway with blocked paving.

The reasons cited are

  1. They had to replace a bathroom in their 3 year old house recently due to a water leak and resulting damaging. Costing they say £8k. The builders would not cover this or any of the resulting damage and the LABC cover would also not cover despite it being due to i stallation error. Houses 2, 3 and 4 have thankfully not had these issues. Although they apparently have some savings using them would mean they were left with very little as a contingency. Which with cost of living and job insecurity they're worried about.

  2. They have now decided they prefer gravel. Their driveway is 'blind' coming out so prefer the gravel as they can hear. They also have a young child so gravel is a good warning of car. Other parts of the development with blocked paving encourage high speeds from residents and delivery drivers, which they're concerned about. They also prefer gravel as it improves security.

  3. The driveway doesn't impact them hugely visually. They have tarmac to the front of their house. They struggle to see the benefit in spending potentially £6-7k on something that offers minimal benefit. They cite if they had that money spare they'd rather spend this on things they've not done in their home that would benefit them more.

  4. They have concerns about maintaince. The parking driveways for houses at the moment is block paved and has constant weeds. No one really maintains their own that well. They have concerns about long term maintaince of it.

They agree the current gravel isn't ideal. As an alterntive to blocked paving they have suggested getting quotes for laying pea shingle and a proper base. Which would cost less. They have also offered to put some gravel of the current kind and rake it out which they believe would improve the look. Houses 2, 3 and 4 are against this as gravel is too dusty and noisy.

So Who is being unreasonable?

YANBU = Houses 2, 3 and 4 are right. It needs block paving and house 1 should suck it up and find the cash.

YABU = House 1 is right. Their reasons are valid and houses 2, 3 and 4 should be more open to the alternatives.

Or other. Let me know.

It's a neighbours and driveway dispute one. Who IBU
OP posts:
Laughingravy · 27/09/2023 16:34

Am I the only one who is gob smacked that the builder of what sounds like fairly upmarket development made the approach road gravel!! It would be a no from me to buying in the first place. It's the cheap option on a private driveway but to service four houses with all the various traffic they will generate, no thank you.

TruffleShuffles · 27/09/2023 16:52

Laughingravy · 27/09/2023 16:34

Am I the only one who is gob smacked that the builder of what sounds like fairly upmarket development made the approach road gravel!! It would be a no from me to buying in the first place. It's the cheap option on a private driveway but to service four houses with all the various traffic they will generate, no thank you.

That was my exact thought too, they took the piss with that.

Tessasanderson · 27/09/2023 16:53

Laughingravy · 27/09/2023 16:34

Am I the only one who is gob smacked that the builder of what sounds like fairly upmarket development made the approach road gravel!! It would be a no from me to buying in the first place. It's the cheap option on a private driveway but to service four houses with all the various traffic they will generate, no thank you.

Yes i did think that too. Selling big houses to people and getting away with putting gravel down on the road. I was surprised at 1 person putting up with that at purchase but 4 seems amazing. Its gonna cut up something chronic over the years.

Whatthematter · 27/09/2023 16:56

Laughingravy · 27/09/2023 16:34

Am I the only one who is gob smacked that the builder of what sounds like fairly upmarket development made the approach road gravel!! It would be a no from me to buying in the first place. It's the cheap option on a private driveway but to service four houses with all the various traffic they will generate, no thank you.

The builder is somewhat questionable. Their actions in general with our builds and the other houses they've built on the development have been for want of a better word 'dodgy'. But these dodgy behaviours have only come to light later on. Lessons learned for sure! But we were in a position where we had to buy really and it was the best option available.

The gravel never overly bothered us. We knew the bit to the front of our house and to the main road would be tarmaced and double width (they had planning permission in place for this already). The houses were also good value for location and size.

OP posts:
Heatwave2023 · 27/09/2023 17:00

House 1

Panackelty · 27/09/2023 18:23

Gravel does send the message out that it’s private property too.
If everyone ends up paying for some company to maintain the block paving and drain channels that will be needed, what happens when a couple of houses move , the new people who buy may not be obliged to contribute to an agreement they weren’t part of.

IncomingTraffic · 27/09/2023 18:38

@Tessasanderson it may be that selling the rights makes the property more valuable rather than less. After all, it retains access rights and all that entails but loses the requirement to pay for the maintenance of that access.

Land owned by 4 houses is a bit of a curse rather than a desirable thing when you’re looking to buy. You can’t do anything with it and have to negotiate with 3 other homeowners about any maintenance or changes.

As this thread shows, your co owners may be very keen to spend your money for you.

Nanaof1 · 28/09/2023 18:40

Would someone be so kind as to explain what block paving is? On this side of the pond, we have gravel, concrete, asphalt and "Naturestone" for driveways but for streets it's asphalt and concrete.

Is that gravel a drive or a small dead-end street? I am kind of having trouble seeing the drawing. My eyes suck.

WhichEllie · 28/09/2023 20:22

Nanaof1 · 28/09/2023 18:40

Would someone be so kind as to explain what block paving is? On this side of the pond, we have gravel, concrete, asphalt and "Naturestone" for driveways but for streets it's asphalt and concrete.

Is that gravel a drive or a small dead-end street? I am kind of having trouble seeing the drawing. My eyes suck.

In the US they’d call it pavers or paving stones I believe.

It’s really a road and based on the actual diagram, which is quite different from what the OP drew, I’m shocked that they made it gravel. It’s really something that ought to have been paved from the start.

NewName122 · 28/09/2023 20:27

House 1 does not agree so it cannot be done. Neighbours need to move on and shut up. I wouldn't agree either.

Nanaof1 · 29/09/2023 07:15

AAhhh!! Thank you! They are like paving stones over here. They are not used much on drives/roads around me, but more for footpaths/patios etc. They are a pain because of the weeds, though not sure about the "ant love" for them.

AnSolas · 29/09/2023 07:53

Could be in the UK the sand bed is an handy dig option and the solid block acts as a heat store at night?🤷

Heronwatcher · 29/09/2023 08:00

OK I don’t think house 1 are being completely unreasonable, but I think that you need to be honest that it’s about the money and try to reach a sensible agreement maybe where the others put the initial funds up and then you pay them back gradually. If the other 3 houses want to pave I think it’s a bit off to actively be stopping them if they’ve agreed to pay up front and you’ve agreed in the past that it would be a good idea. The concerns about maintenance etc seem like a bit of a red herring/ excuse.

JudgeJ · 29/09/2023 08:21

Whatthematter · 26/09/2023 20:09

I dont believe it does. We were advised this was the downside to this arrangement. It was hashed together pretty quickly so I doubt this was thiught of. But a good point that i'll check.

This thread is excellent in showing why any joint access property is something to avoid!

Whatthematter · 29/09/2023 10:16

JudgeJ · 29/09/2023 08:21

This thread is excellent in showing why any joint access property is something to avoid!

Hindsight hey!

If/when we move shared access is being ruled out! As is any house where we have to be near neighbours. I suppose for us it was less of an issue as this bit we don't see and only use maybe twice a day, if that some days. Also gravel isn't something we detest. The other 3 bought the houses thinking they could change it. To me you never buy a house where your happiness is based on a change that needs agreement from others.

OP posts:
IMustDoMoreExercise · 29/09/2023 20:23

Whatthematter · 29/09/2023 10:16

Hindsight hey!

If/when we move shared access is being ruled out! As is any house where we have to be near neighbours. I suppose for us it was less of an issue as this bit we don't see and only use maybe twice a day, if that some days. Also gravel isn't something we detest. The other 3 bought the houses thinking they could change it. To me you never buy a house where your happiness is based on a change that needs agreement from others.

But what do the other 3 say about all the weeds on the other bit of block paving?

Don't they care about the maintenance required for block paving?

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