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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you enjoy staying with friends in their houses? Do you get relieved when you come home after being away?

90 replies

amijustantisocial · 26/09/2023 15:40

I'm concluding that I find this really stressful. I love my best mate a lot, and we had a lovely visit in many ways, but there's just something about staying with others that I find tiring.

Staying in hotels or self catering cottages is better for me I think, but even then no matter how great a time we have I'm always so glad to get home to my own bed/ flat/ stuff.

Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

OP posts:
Highlyflavouredgravy · 26/09/2023 15:41

Yes. I hate staying in other peoples's houses.

Original poster
amijustantisocial · 26/09/2023 15:41

Actually maybe this is part of why second homes are so popular for those who can afford it! A second home in a lovely region that's all yours, all your own space and things. Sounds like bliss.

OP posts:
harrisaar · 26/09/2023 15:41

I hate staying over somewhere else unless it’s my parents house or we’ve got on holiday.

Original poster
amijustantisocial · 26/09/2023 15:42

Highlyflavouredgravy · 26/09/2023 15:41

Yes. I hate staying in other peoples's houses.

What bit do you hate specifically? Can you not relax completely?

OP posts:
Azaeleasinbloom · 26/09/2023 15:48

I am not a fan of staying with other people in their space. I find it difficult to relax completely, don’t know their routines / are there rules etc. I hate toilet visits in the middle of the night etc.
I much prefer to stay in a hotel, Airbnb etc. and just chill out between visits, although I do have a very good friend who gave me a key , has an en-suite for her guest bedroom and is so very chilled and good at hosting. So I suspect I am the problem

cuddlebear · 26/09/2023 15:50

Oh absolutely. The only thing worse is having other people stay at mine.

allthehops · 26/09/2023 15:55

I'm not a fan of staying at other people's houses and I don't like people staying here either, much rather get a nearby hotel/air bnb.

EmmaPaella · 26/09/2023 16:00

Yes! I thought I was a bit weird. But I just find it a bit stressful.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 26/09/2023 16:09

Unless I know the people extremely well, I just won’t do it any more, and even if I do, TBH I’d prefer a Premier Inn - and I’m always glad to get home to my own bed.

35965a · 26/09/2023 16:25

I also find it a stressful, apart from staying at my parents’ house. It’s not even like that’s the house I grew up in as they’ve moved since I left home, staying with them is just easy. I don’t mind people staying with me but my house is small so I do find it a relief when guests leave, but staying with other people is just the worst for me!

KimberleyClark · 26/09/2023 16:31

No not really. I’d much rather stay in a nearby hotel than stay in someone’s house. I find it very wearing being “on” the whole time.

Owjrbvr · 26/09/2023 16:32

I don’t mind at my friends houses who I know well but I find it hard at peoples houses whete I don’t know them so well and don’t feel comfortable making myself a cup of tea etc
I always enjoy the feeling of coming home after being away though

SuperfluousToRequirements · 26/09/2023 16:35

I never used to have a problem with it but from mid-late 30’s onwards I’ve felt the same.
I just can’t relax, I feel permanently ‘on’. It’s exhausting and not enjoyable at all.

Louchelizard · 26/09/2023 16:45

Love my mates, don’t mind staying away from home but hate other people putting me up. I’d much rather just pay for a hotel.

Lastchancechica · 26/09/2023 16:58

Pre 28-30 years I loved staying with friends! Great fun.

Then something changed
I grew up. I suddenly couldn’t stand it.
I still can’t stand it.
I don’t like people staying here either.

I love my friends.

LetMeEnfoldYou · 26/09/2023 16:59

It was fine in my 20s when it was mostly just a cheaper way to have a boozy weekend.

You couldn't pay me to do it now. Absolutely no way.

AliciaLime · 26/09/2023 17:04

I don’t like it and it’s because I’m an introvert and it’s just a strain for me the whole time. No matter how much I like them.

KajsaKavat · 26/09/2023 17:06

Hate it so much,

Lagershandy · 26/09/2023 17:08

Much as I love my out of town friends,I prefer to stay in a hotel. I only wish my out of town friends felt the same when they come to visit me!

Setyoufree · 26/09/2023 17:10

I'm definitely an introvert but love it when my friends stay. Doesn't happen often anymore but I love a houseful. Maybe it's because it reminds me of being 20 again??

Mimilamore · 26/09/2023 17:20

Yes... I'm the same, visiting family in Oz end of month. They are very welcoming but we have booked some air b and bs in different locations to break up the 4 weeks... we all love one another but they will need own space as much as we will, I can then relax knowing that there will be some ' down' time too

Ponderingwindow · 26/09/2023 17:27

I hate staying in other people’s homes.

i like having free access to the bathroom, not needing to coordinate showers, and have control of my room temperature.

I despise hosting so much that we got rid of our guest room.

hotels are wonderful.

Colinswheels · 26/09/2023 17:30

I don't really like staying at other people's houses but not as much as I dislike people staying at mine!

Lastchancechica · 26/09/2023 17:32

I found my people.
I feel bad that I don’t enjoy it, I have a big house with plenty of space and I know some friends expect invitations ( I live in a beautiful part of England, a destination place) but I can’t bring myself to do it!!

I think the evening would be fun. I am cringing at the idea of breakfast the next day.

Lastchancechica · 26/09/2023 17:33

And showers.
Small talk