Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not sign friends petition about school fees ?

257 replies

Whereforartthoudave · 26/09/2023 09:12

Or more to the point tell her why I’m not?

friend grp - 3 families out of 9 send their kids to private school. One dad has decided to start a petition re Private schools losing their charity status - as in it’s not fair if they do. His DW has sent it round this morning.

Stupidly rather than just ignore it - when she said will you sign, I said, sorry no - Private schools are businesses not charities so I agree with the proposed change.

Now she wants to know WHY exactly.

YANBU - ignore it and don’t get into a bun fight over private versus state school. I’m not judging their choices but I don’t think the schools should have tax breaks.

YABU - tell her why. The why being I don’t agree with private schools at all, but her money her choice. And think it’s laughable that they have charity status when the majority ( and this is backed up by actual stats) do virtually nothing to earn it.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
MummytoAAandX · 30/05/2024 17:03

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/09/2023 09:15

I'd just say "I'm not getting into this with you. You chose private school, I chose state. Neither of us owe the other any justification. I'm not signing the petition because I don't have the same opinion on this as you. I suspect you don't want to know what I actually think - possibly you just want to argue against each point I would make. I'm not the source of your frustration here, so channel all that into your petition, good luck"

This

JustAnotherDadOf2 · 30/05/2024 17:10

Whereforartthoudave · 28/09/2023 16:59

‘. It was that the OP could ask her friend why she thinks this private school should be a charity in the first place.’

she doesn’t. They aren’t. And most to f all to earn any kind of status as a charity. They’re businesses selling business services to wealthy people who can afford luxuries.
She knows this. But seems to believe that anything to do with education should be given charity status as an exception.

What about Palliative Care Homes run as Charities? What about your local theatre? What about some scheme to get people off drugs?

Private schools are mostly made up of ordinary kids with families who have no other choice. The super rich make up a tiny, tiny percentage. There are rules in place that an organisation must adhere to if it is to be a registered charity; essentially it is not profit-motivated - money is inwardly invested, and cannot serve to benefit the trustee's family members.

MrsSkylerWhite · 30/05/2024 19:23

pinkpopcorn123 · 26/09/2023 11:22
I think it is you that's being naive. Loosing charitable status and adding VAT will change the way private schools work. They will become true businesses with all the intended and unintended consequences that will bring. It will also need to be applied to all forms of tutoring to be fair. Probably best, to stay out of it altogether with your friend if you want to keep them rather than entering a debate with no right answer, just differing opinions

Oh please, they’ve been businesses plain and simple for decades. Ours certainly were, nearly 30 years ago. Monet was always the bottom line.

”Charities” - 🤣🤣🤣

trevrrevtrev · 31/05/2024 14:55

Just ignore it and don't sign it but there is no need to make and song and dance about it. When it comes to maintaining good friendships over the years it's important to respect differing political opinions/life choices/circumstances.

JustAnotherDadOf2 · 31/05/2024 22:47

I should add, my boy has gone from a high-performing (OFSTED Excellent) state school class of 30 kids with absolutely no interest or respect for their teachers where intimidation and violence was the norm, a high proportion of the kids are vaping / pretending to at least. The after school fights I've seen were viscous (worse even than what I experienced as a kid in the 70's/80's when noone really cared about all that sort of thing) and generally filmed and put up on SM to compound the misery and humiliation of the victim.
If you do well in a subject you would be bullied by the disinterested hard kids in and out of school and on SM.

His new private school has 9-11 kids per class. He receives extra tutoring of an hour on Saturdays 1:1 with one of the much older kids (voluntary), and has discovered he likes and is good at maths - he is catching up / almost caught up in maths which he now actually understands.

He is now engaged in classes (apart from Physics, but nothing is perfect), the teachers like him, his class mates like him and he is happy, he has found confidence and realises his worth. His life is transformed, he has just completed his Bronze Duke of Edinburgh, is volunteering at his old primary to help younger kids with reading and maths during his (much longer than state school summer holidays).

This costs me just south of £15K per year (which I cant really afford on my slightly above average salary). But unfairly, state school costs me £5.5K per year in tax. Considering his private school class size is 1/3 of a state school, I'd say the private school is run more efficiently and is getting far better results. Maybe state school system should be looking at how private schools are doing so well with less resources and model themselves on that.

So, this will cost me £15K per year for 3 years, but you know what? my boy is worth £45K - he probably now has a decent future ahead of him, ok we wont be having holidays abroad for the next 3 or 4 years, but that's ok, because we get 52 mostly happy weeks a year, not 50 weeks of misery and a week to 10 days of sunny foreign holidays to forget that misery.

So Kier Starma can shove his desperate-for-power petty vote-pleasing nonsense up his privileged condescending no-new-ideas backside (he probably had my vote until this), and so can any parents who value their 2 weeks of sun and surf over the rest of their kids lives -or- would deny me the right to do what is best for my boys.

It's one thing to say, "I'd do anything for my kids" while sat at home watching daytime TV, but I and my wife are actually doing it -and- (by-the-way) we are without-complaint funding the state-school system despite getting absolutely no value from it.

echt · 31/05/2024 22:59

trevrrevtrev · 31/05/2024 14:55

Just ignore it and don't sign it but there is no need to make and song and dance about it. When it comes to maintaining good friendships over the years it's important to respect differing political opinions/life choices/circumstances.

The OP isn't making a song and dance about it, the friend is by being nosy about her reasons for not saying.

echt · 31/05/2024 22:59

Jesus! Signing.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page