How we present ourselves determines how we are treated?

[AgneathaForest]

It is a well known concept, but interesting to see how it works in real life.

I have a friend who typically wears rather plain but well made clothes, has long hair which she always twists back into a neat french twist. She is average height and good looking. She recently told me that after having her hair cut into a contemporary style she has noticed a swift change in how people respond to her when out and about (shopping, bank, restaurants etc).
According to her, she is treated with less respect generally, compared to her old look. I thought this was really fascinating!

I also noticed that when I am fully togged up in rain wear with my hood up and waterproof boots on (so that most of me is hidden), people are much less likely to slow down and allow me to cross a road, or hold a door open and so on. In ordinary clothes (say a summer dress for example) I have observed cars slow to let me cross far more often than when I am accompanied by DP.

I think we barely realise this in everyday life, how society will make quick, unconscious judgements about us from our surface appearance, often before we can even open our mouths. When I am mostly visible with hair loose, people are noticeably friendlier and more accommodating. And I am presuming it is different for all of us, considering looks, age, gender, etc, but it does stand.

My friend thinks that previously people considered her to be wealthier or of a higher status due to her hair and clothes. I was very young looking in my 20's and was definitely treated as if I was a teen, frustratingly.

Anyone have any other examples of this?

Was just thinking as well how must of the richer people around here would never ever be picked up out of a line up as being wealthy- dress extremely everyday.

It doesn't mean just your clothes, it means 'She's put together, asks the right questions and understands the answers, so you don't need to dumb down for her"

Sorry for 'dumb down' I can't think of the correct phrase, but medics do explain differently to different people.

So to each other they might refer to a CABG pronounced 'cabbage'. Both know what this means.

For most people they will say it is 'a heart bypass', and others they will explain in more basic language.

This thread has made me want to put a bit more effort into putting myself together, actually!

I feel so shabby now!

Just noticing another lady sitting across from me with hair beautifully put up.

Did you not read the rest of my post? I have never felt evaluated in a less than positive way - ever. Do you really believe that someone is judged on a hairstyle? As a receptionist of many years standing I never once evaluated anyone on what they were wearing or their hairstyle.

Yes, @givemeasunnyday I did. But as this thread shows, and the research supports, people do evaluate based on initial impressions and do it very quickly. So yes, I do. And not just me, but the scientific literature. But hey, you carry on as you are.

I am a goth, well if others were to define me that's what I'd get. I just dress as me. Not an ostentatious goth but still goth. I find that lots of men half fancy me and half disapprove of me. Lots of women tend to blank me, I assume because they think I'm 'too cool/scary'. I'm just me and refuse to fade away.

When I worked in the UK, generally, if I wore my hair curly, I was talked down to a lot more in the workplace: with straight hair, I was treated with more 'respect' in meetings. Also, there is a definite rural/ urban divide - when I lived in the countryside, women were judged for wearing heels in the pub and being too 'dolled up'. In the city, if you go out without make up and wearing tracksuit bottoms to an appointment, you're really looked down upon.

Now, I live in a country where it's the opposite; even light make up is really looked down upon and you're not taken seriously if you wear it.

But some things are universal: when you're thinner, you get treated better and get more male attention (which is annoying) - even when its 10 pounds. Just horrible.

I’m wondering now what country you get frowned upon for wearing light make up!!

There is truth in the rumour that people make up their mind about 90% about you on the first impression.
That’s why my school drummed it into us to look well turned out in our school uniform (a very formal one).
I just dress for the occasion now - because I don’t want to appear to others like a fish out of water!

I forgot about this thread, some great contributions, thanks for joining in!

I am intrigued by the curly versus straight hair thing. I have heard this from a lot of women but rarely men. I have hair that is neither straight nor curly, so can't really stake a claim one way or the other, but having always been blonde and slim I will have been subject to being treated a certain way without ever knowing - as I will not have had anything to compare it to.

Haven't noticed much with clothing either, apart from traffic being friendlier and kinder if I present very 'feminine'.

I am so intrigued now too, about how I appear to other people. I have pretty much no idea and would be fascinated (and likely horrified!) to learn.

I get much better treatment in shops when I have one of my fancy designer handbags with me. Regardless of what I wear.