Seeing lots of single child family

[Guffpuff]

We went for a long walk today around a reservoir. It's quite a popular place. We saw a large number of single child families. We feel that it's becoming more and more common now. Could be due to Cost of living and inflation or mix of lots of reasons.
Is this something you're observing as well?

I saw many one child families on holiday in greece this year.

The birth rate is dropping, has been since about 2012

As a parent of an only child, I get so many questionable comments all the time. Another mum said a while ago, while telling me of her plans to TTC a third: "I didn't even think it was possible to have only one!" 😡

I have a 2 year old and I’m pretty confident we won’t have any more.

It’s partly financial - like everyone else our household costs have soared, our wages (above average but definitely not high earners) haven’t kept pace. I want my daughter to be able to have hobbies, travel etc and I fear we wouldn’t be able to comfortably do that with 2 in the current financial climate.

It’s also partly because I really struggled post natal and was pretty shocked at the lack of support. I also was kind of shocked at the care (or lack of) I got in hospital while giving birth, lots of things were missed and frankly I’m frightened something would go wrong and I or my baby would end up harmed. I was reading the thread last night about the rise of SEN in primary schools, and I’ve read other threads on here that have made me realise if we had to cope with any additional needs there would be literally no support or respite.

The world just feels pretty fucked up at the moment. It’s sad, because I think my daughter would be an amazing big sister but it all just feels too much of a risk.

I literally know two women out of about 15 who had normal non medicalised births. Many of them were very traumatised and two out of those women (so far) have sworn never again. I don’t know why so many women are needing so much intervention these days but I think it bears looking at.

Is there more intervention these days? I found birth an eye opening experience as it was the first time I felt completely out of control in my life , it was a shock! I don't think social media helps with all the "write your birth plan, don't forget to put a straw in your bag", etc.

It's a bit of a bad combo encouraging women to have birth plans and treat birth as an experience only to provide "care" so bad it leaves them traumatised.

@WhatNoRaisins yep

I remember my mums, aunts, family friends birth stories & think I was relatively lucky. I think the difference now is it's become as you say an "experience" with a huge gulf between that and the reality. Plus aftercare is non existent & you are expected to be showing off your 6 pack a week later.

Good, there’s far too many people on the planet. But also; they could have more than 1 child but the other(s) are somewhere else.

Good, there’s far too many people on the planet

🙄

DH and I have three siblings between us, all now in their 40s or 50s. None of them have children.
We have one.

I always thought that I'd have two or three children then found the first year of DD's life shockingly difficult. I had lots of support from family, no mental health conditions. It was just hard. Put having more children on hold, life got easier and more fun as DD grew older, and in the end I just never had the desire to start over again.

DH was an only child and was content with one child too. Now, I'm so glad we just have the one. DD is 7. Weekends are chilled out, built around what the three of us find fun. Easy to divy up the work with DH and I love all the 1 to 1 time I have with DD.

I know a lot of people end up being a one child family due to circumstances beyond their control but for us it was a choice and I really love being a family of three.

Interesting thread, got me thinking - I was celebrating the other night with friends aged 45-62 from various parts of my life. Of the 13 of us, 5 are childless, 2 have one DC, 5 have 2 DC and one 3. Of the childless friends at least 3 aren't childless by choice for various reasons, the stress of two causing relationship breakdown theory doesn't work as the three of four divorces between us were with none or only children. Of the 15 children between us, I think only 3 or 4 were born to a Mum aged under 35 at the time, other births range up to age 52!!!

What does stand out is all but one of us has at least degree education, most of us post graduate, only 4 live and work anywhere near where born/ have extended family support and between the 13 of us I would hazard a guess that the household income totals well over a £1m pa. So ime it's professional, strong, career women not starting families til later in life thats seeing a lot more smaller families- or leaving it too late to not be able to have any at all.

I have a 14 month old and would LOVE a second, but financially, we cannot afford it despite our joint household income of £95k.

Childcare in London is too expensive and it’s not like we can cut down on expenses elsewhere as everything has shot up.

Although I’m grateful for the life we have now, I do think I’ll always miss having a second child, especially as the option has been taken away from us.

Poor maternity care meant during labour/recovery the NHS put my life at risk 3 times.

We have no faith in maternity care.

I survived it once by chance next time I might be so lucky. I can not leave my child without a mother.

Many people have children with different partners. How do you know these men haven’t had children with other women?
Plenty of people are having more than one child. It is true it is the ‘squeezed middle’ who can’t afford it. Either end are having more than one.
I know this through my job.

I haven't noticed that tbh but then I've got 3 and one is a toddler so I'm running around after my own lot. We are in a row of detached houses and one family has an only child, the other has two and we have 3. 2 seems to be the magic number around where we live.

We have three children but are frequently only out and about with the youngest as the older two are working/studying.

I am one of 5, both my parents worked. We had a nanny but my younger 2 siblings really struggle with their mental health as adults. The nanny died which was traumatic for them as she was I guess their primary carer. I believe they needed more emotional support from my mum and this has caused them some serious issues.

We just have the one and it was a conscious decision.
It's cheaper and easier plus there was much less of an impact on my career.

As we only have one we can give him far more experiences than if we had more.

I get “oh you have to give him a sibling…. He will be so lonely” from my MIL.

She makes piss all effort to see him and had one child herself.

The comments me and my partner get about having one child (he’s six months old and I’m nearly 39) are so rude and thoughtless.

I think we also value our time, careers and bodies more now. All take a hit when you have a baby. Many women don't want another because they just want to claw back a bit of normality after losing so much of it with the first.

I may as well have written my birth plan on toilet tissue and wiped my bum with it for all the good that was.

I know a lot of people end up being a one child family due to circumstances beyond their control but for us it was a choice and I really love being a family of three.

Same here. I did kind of assume I’d have two as it’s the done thing, but once DD was born my
broodiness never returned, so we chose to stop at one. We are happy as a family of three and I love the close relationship I have with DD (now 8). One child families are still not really the norm where I live, although they are clearly becoming more common across the country as a whole. I’ve never had any negative comments about it in real life (only on Facebook and Mumsnet 🙄).

I have 4 children, twins daughters aged 32, a son aged 36 and my eldest daughter is 38. My eldest daughter has a son aged 7, the only grandchild I have thus far. One of my twin daughters has told me she cant afford children and says if she gets pregnant she will have an abortion. My son's girlfriend has a 12 year old boy, he's a good lad, my son has really taken to him. i think he wants a child with his girlfriend, they have bought a house together and have been discussing more children. Also only one of children has married.