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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not do school pick ups everyday?

90 replies

tgodtaylor · 23/09/2023 10:04

My neighbour is a single mum to a 4 yo. I'm also a single mum to a teen and a 10 year old.

She works until 5:30, for the first few weeks her boss was letting her finish early to collect him as he finished at lunchtime but soon he'll be doing full time and she won't be able to finish early. She's asked if I can pick him up as he goes to the same school as my 10 yo. The problem is, I don't really do pick up anymore as his school isn't far away and it's close to my teens school, he usually walks with him.

She's also wants me to keep him here until she picks him up at around 6, she mentioned how he gets along with the 10 yo, they do but I don't think he'll want to be entertaining him constantly. We live opposite a field so when she sees DS is there she will send her child which DS doesn't like as he wants to play football with his own friends, not look after a 4 yo. He's going to secondary school next year so once that happens I think he's less likely to want to spend time with a then 5 year old.

I do help her out at times with looking after him if she has an appointment and when he was unwell so she couldn't go out, I went out and got shopping and medication for her etc.

What would you do?

OP posts:
ExtraOnions · 23/09/2023 10:05

I would say “no, I don’t do school run anymore”

BelindaBears · 23/09/2023 10:06

ExtraOnions · 23/09/2023 10:05

I would say “no, I don’t do school run anymore”

This. She needs to find appropriate after school care. You are not it.

Highlyflavouredgravy · 23/09/2023 10:07

I would explain that you can't be her childcare. What would happen if your child was off for some reason? Or stayed behind for an activity?

She needs a childminder.

sodthesodoff · 23/09/2023 10:07

Just say you don't do pick ups any more as Dc are preparing for senior school

What was her plan for childcare?!

PinkDeer · 23/09/2023 10:08

I would say no. She needs to be using an after school club or a child minder. It’s not your problem, you aren’t even going there yourself!

TinglingTangling · 23/09/2023 10:08

I’d tell her no the cheeky cow.

Nevermind31 · 23/09/2023 10:09

I’m sorry, but now that my kids are so much older I don’t want to look after a four year old anymore, and my 10 year old wants to play with his own friends. Here is the number of the afterschool club I used.

itsgettingweird · 23/09/2023 10:10

I agree with just saying you don't do school run anymore so can't collect him as you aren't there!

Why do people not sort childcare out before a child starts school and just expect it to resolve itself for free at no inconvenience to them?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 23/09/2023 10:11

"Sorry no thats not an option - I've seen some childminders collecting from the school though, worth giving them a call"

Workawayxx · 23/09/2023 10:11

She wants you to be a full time afternoon nanny to a 4 yo! That would be maybe £12-15 an hour at a guess. I had a childminder a few years ago who was £15 a day after school so £75 a week, min £300 a month. Way, way too much for her to ask. Does school have an after school club?

HarrietStyles · 23/09/2023 10:14

Say no sorry, I’m not an Ofsted registered childminder or an afterschool club. If you look online you can find one nearby.

WandaWonder · 23/09/2023 10:17

Just say no, why is this so hard for people, just say no

coodawoodashooda · 23/09/2023 10:18

Fk that

ChaToilLeam · 23/09/2023 10:20

Just tell her no. She’s a CF!

KEG05 · 23/09/2023 10:22

You just need to say you don’t do the school run anymore that the 10 year old walks himself. It’s a massive commitment to agree to do it all the time and quite cheeky of her to ask. She needs to sort proper childcare for him or reduce her working hours.

1stworldissues · 23/09/2023 10:23

She wants free childcare

Say no

AllotmentTime · 23/09/2023 10:23

You presumably don't want to outright tell her not to be such a CF. She's clearly trying to use you and your DC for childcare.

so in that case you could go round and say "just to let you know DC and I are going to be doing different things after school so won't be able to walk your DC back any more or mind him at the field for you. Just wanted to let you know so you can make other arrangements."

Dont be drawn on what your alternative plans might be. Be clear about a date that you're stopping from, like a week away or less, and ideally for the next few days after that, have your DC (and you) be out of sight or elsewhere so that she is forced to follow through and put something in place. Then once she's done that you can go back to normal.

RichardArmitagesWife · 23/09/2023 10:24

“I don’t do the school run now Alfie is 10. I think Claire Smith does after school childminding, maybe give her a shout.”

Ameanstreakamilewide · 23/09/2023 10:24

Workawayxx · 23/09/2023 10:11

She wants you to be a full time afternoon nanny to a 4 yo! That would be maybe £12-15 an hour at a guess. I had a childminder a few years ago who was £15 a day after school so £75 a week, min £300 a month. Way, way too much for her to ask. Does school have an after school club?

Exactly.
What an imposition to potentially lumber someone with??
I wouldn't the nerve to ask!

She's also a brass necked CF.

TheSpikySpinosaurus · 23/09/2023 10:26

She is being really cheeky, with this and sending her 4yo out to play with your 10yo!

Tell her you're not doing school run any more and you can't provide free childcare for her Dc. She should have thought all this through before starting school.

sittingonacornflake · 23/09/2023 10:27

Honestly don't see any issue here. Surely
You just say no because you don't do the school run anymore?

Princessfluffy · 23/09/2023 10:27

Nevermind31 · 23/09/2023 10:09

I’m sorry, but now that my kids are so much older I don’t want to look after a four year old anymore, and my 10 year old wants to play with his own friends. Here is the number of the afterschool club I used.

This is the perfect answer

TropicalTrama · 23/09/2023 10:30

‘I don’t do the school run now DS is 10.’

And if I saw him in the field I’d call mum and tell her to pick him up immediately. 10YOs can’t supervise a 4YO FFS.

And since she’s a user who can’t respect boundaries, I would not do anything, ever again to help her out. It all stops now.

ColleenDonaghy · 23/09/2023 10:31

CF in the extreme. Oh she'd love free childcare? The rest of us are paying a fortune because we love feeling poor.

As everyone says, tell her you don't do the school run any more. Be ready for her to ask your DC to walk hers home, have a firm no ready, say they're not ready for that responsibility.

Murdoch1949 · 23/09/2023 10:35

This is far too much of a commitment, unless you want a part time job for 2 hours every school day! She is being very cheeky asking you to do this. The age gap between the 2 children is large and I can totally understand your child not wanting to continually play with the younger one. You need to shut down this suggestion.

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