"Star of the day"

[coverp]

What is the point?

You get one happy kid and 29 disappointed kids every day.

Back at school 12 days, 10 kids have had it (2 have had it twice), all girls.

DS asks every night what he has to do to get it. "I work hard, I listen, I put my hand up" - he's really upset. It's making the transition to Reception way harder than it would otherwise have been.

I'd sort of understand if it was being used to motivate some of the kids that find listening difficult, but that's clearly not the case here.

I'm really trying not to get wound up about it and I'm obviously not going to say anything to the teacher, but it's really starting to grind my gears. Anyone shed some light on what the point of it might be?

All children need praise and rewards otherwise they get disheartened. No child deserves more than other kids, they should all be treated equally at school.

Just this thread shows you how divisive these fucking awards are. Children do really respond to them (that’s why they do it) and it is very hurtful and entirely unfair if your consistently well behaved and conscientious child is overlooked.

I would ban them and just verbally reward kind and attentive behaviour throughout the day.

The issue with any teacher ignoring these well behaved studious types and always rewarding the naughty one would indicate the problem with these sorts of teachers is a touch more serious that in equality in star-giving

What a bizarre take on this. Of course he needed the input just as much. Not more than, but as much Just because he wasn't acting out didn't mean he didn't need their input. This is where teachers are going wrong. This assumption that the children who don't cause trouble don't need attention.

We've got star of the day, star of the week, then the end of term headteacher awards. I've got one dd who is smart, hardworking, gets on with it quietly so she never gets picked. Ds has adhd and asd, so also never gets picked but for different reasons. Twice now I've had to speak to one of their teachers to remind them that my dc have never been picked for a star award and there's only one week left of term ☹️ it's excruciating and I hate doing it but the alternative is a very upset and disappointed child.

Also, the end of term headmaster awards went to the same child in dds class 3 times in a row! Either dish them out fairly or get rid of the bloody things.

The issue with any teacher ignoring these well behaved studious types and always rewarding the naughty one would indicate the problem with these sorts of teachers is a touch more serious that in equality in star-giving
I agree with this. In my experience where staff are actually over-rewarding students who display disruptive behaviour (as opposed to appropriately using rewards to meet the very different needs and experiences of children), the allocation of rewards is not the primary issue. There's usually many other issues that need to be addressed.

In my experience, the balance of "teacher/school ACTUALLY rewarding disruptive students and ignoring everyone else" Vs "children and parents are moaning that other children are given appropriate praise and rewards and interventions for their needs" tends to lean towards the latter happening more.

It is not about rewarding the naughty kids for occasionally being good; it is about recognising good effort and achievement, however big or small. By the end of the year, all members of the class should have been star of the day at least once. Sometimes your dc have to accept they're not going to win everything and will have to celebrate other children's wins.

Not really. I’ve witnessed the disruptive behaviour of the “well-known naughty kids” for myself when I’ve helped in school with reading, trips, etc. Many parents are TAs/friends with TAs who confirm which kids are the badly behaved ones - unsurprisingly it’s the same kids that our own children come home and talk about. It’s actually quite factual.

My son has just gone into year 4. Do you genuinely believe that after several years of him sharing a class with the same students, it’s impossible to tell which ones are the disruptive ones? After several years of being friends with other parents, of being on a class WhatsApp and a class Facebook group? Of being local to the area?

I might not know the reasons why some children are disruptive in my son’s year, but I certainly know which ones are more likely to try to escape out of the classroom via the window or headbutt the teacher. I know that his class has three TAs because ‘sometimes Rufus can fight two of them off’ and that Lucy spat at a TA twice this week but got the star on Friday anyway. And my son is pretty uncommunicative about school so he doesn’t come home with a lot of tales about what’s happened that day. It’s still possible to build a picture over the years.

NB names changed to protect the innocent

I don't understand the obsession with other people's naughty kids. Just be silently thankful your own kid is better or you can even praise yourself for your own superior parenting if you want.

But don't gossip about other DCs or form opinions about them on the basis of playground tittle tattle or even worse talk negatively about them in front of your own DCs or to other parents. You have no idea what is going on in that DC's life or what problems they have.

Really surprised about this thread. All this angst 'cos someone's kid got a fucking gold star that someone else didn't think they deserved.

You're missing the point. I don't care about the naughty kids (your words not mine) getting stars, I just think the good ones should get them too. Good children can be dealing with all sorts of shit as well, they just deal with it in a different way.
And of course I am thankful. Personally I don't care about the stars but my kids do. And more importantly I think it is a sign of a very weak teaching style.

I think most people are just saying that their own child deserves the occasional star. Quiet mediocrity deserves encouragement too, if morale is to be kept up.

WolfFoxHare
Of course we find out who the disruptive children are. It's hard not to when children come home and focus on the big events of the day. We don't know the background, but we definitely find out about the behaviour.

I feel very uncomfortable with parent WhatsApp groups and social media groups though so tend to stay away because so often they turn into witch hunts against certain children. I'm not interested in a bunch of parents comparing notes about how many stickers their children have on week 3 of term.

As far as I'm concerned staff have a duty of care to my children. They have a duty to ensure DC are safe and can learn. If I'm concerned that, for whatever reason, DC don't feel safe and aren't able to learn then I'll talk to the teacher and find out what's in place for my children. I'm not going to get into "why did Rufus get star of the week when he spent half of Thursday on 1-1 after hitting another child?"

@LolaSmiles And I wouldn’t expect you to. I don’t believe anyone has said you should, or that they would.

Our WhatsApp group and our Facebook group don’t tend to gossip about bad behaviour - but parents do celebrate their children’s wins on there. Or sometimes parents share that their kids are struggling. And it’s possible to notice from that which children get awards and stars a lot. My son also doesn’t gossip or witch hunt but it would be a rare child who doesn’t report back that a fellow pupil has tried to escape from the playground by climbing the fence and been chased by the headteacher.

My son doesn’t excel at school work, and he is well behaved - I know this because his teachers and his reports remark on it consistently. He has never complained about not being the class star. But sometimes he does feel discouraged and I occasionally wish school would do a bit more to encourage him, in addition to what I say and do.

It’s not an obsession with other people’s naughty kids, it’s dealing with your well behaved child being overlooked every week whilst the disruptive ones are consistently rewarded. It’s managing their feelings about the injustice. I absolutely would never talk about these kids with my children or even label them naughty - I always explained to my children that some kids find it harder at school so the teachers are trying to help them.

@LolaSmiles And I wouldn’t expect you to. I don’t believe anyone has said you should, or that they would.
I know you wouldn't. It's just clear from this thread, and other variations on here, that there's quite a few parents who are little too over-invested in what school does with other people's children. There's an undertone to some posts that isn't very nice when you consider they're highly unlikely to know that much information about the whole class.

There's many ways that children can be acknowledged in school. It's not just stickers and certificates. It's all the positive interactions, the positive feedback on their work, verbal praise, having access to opportunities and responsibilities that others haven't, being trusted to do a job. It's highly likely that there's lots of other acknowledgement throughout the week (and some of those will be things they access that other children don't for a range of reasons).

If a parent genuinely feels that their children's effort and personal development is very overlooked in general (not in a "it isn't fair that David got star of the week/a sticker each day and my child didn't") then they need to talk to the school about it so it can be looked into.

Right, so the non disruptive primary school kids are to (according to some..)
Laughed at for wanting to be 'star of the week' because it doesn't really mean anything, while simultaneously acknowledging the importance of star of the week and lucky they are not to be awarded it, and celebrate their peer? Oh and be told how awful they are not to have empathy if they don't understand the complexity of this?
And don't forget the awful parenting skills if you are concerned that your child is upset because you should consider other kids first?

Yeah pisses me off too. My little one has been in nursery for 2.5 years. They do star of the week. Not once has he been star if the week. Every time I pick him up they say is is 'super' 'had a great day' etc etc but not once bloody star of the week. I know he won't know. But I know. Kids have been star of the week for settling into nursery well (didn't mine?) recognising bowl movements for Christ's sake.

At least keep a bloody record and spread it out fairly amongst the kids so they all have it at least once. It's not hard.

If the teacher's doing it properly they'll try their best to make sure every child gets Star of the Day for something eventually. I know sometimes the quieter children can be constantly missed with these things which is unfortunate, but that shouldn't happen.

I suppose it's mildly disappointing for a child to not get Star of the Day on one specific day but I don't see why that's a problem. Disappointment is a part of life.

I disagree. If a child never displays good behaviour consistently then they don’t deserve it.

They shouldn’t be given it because they managed to be quiet for 10 minutes or play nicely once.

Except for some children sitting and focusing for 10 minutes is actually a big deal for them and for some children who find social interactions really difficult and struggle to form positive peer relationships then playing nicely is also a big deal.

It would be awful for a child who struggles in maths to never get any celebration of their progress because they find maths hard.

Timmy usually score less than 50% on tests. Timmy finds maths really hard. Timmy hates sitting in maths and feeling stupid. He knows all the other children know what to do and are confident at trying lots of strategies, but he doesn't have them to try. Every lesson he sees other students working together on things and he knows he struggles to add much. Then one time they studied a shape topic and he did a beautiful tesselation pattern and got 7/10 on the weekly quiz.
Teacher might decide that this is a huge deal for Timmy and boost his confidence in maths. Teacher decides that this week Timmy can be Maths Superstar.
Unfortunately some parents got wind of this because their children have decided Timmy doesn't deserve it. The parents have a good little moan that it's a joke Timmy getting Maths Star. He got 70% on one pop quiz and the teacher should have focused on the other children who can actually do maths. After all, their children always get at least 80% in every area of maths so no Timmy doesn't deserve a maths award for doing a little better in one area. It was one tiny quiz in one maths lesson. Maths superstar should be kept out the way of kids like Timmy.

Is anyone saying that children who aren’t super bright shouldn’t get the star? Most posters have said their children aren’t educational superstars.

@LolaSmiles who said its about maths? That's disingenuous to use that as an example.
People are saying that their dc are upset when children who are being violent and aggressive to them and are destructive to the classroom are getting star of the week for lasting a 30 min lesson without injuring someone else.

Is anyone saying that children who aren’t super bright shouldn’t get the star? Most posters have said their children aren’t educational superstars
I was drawing an analogy.

When it comes to academics most people have enough sense to know that children have different abilities, different needs, different sen, different talents, different struggles. People generally seem capable of understanding that what's a good score and a huge achievement for one child isn't a big achievement for another.
Very few people would say we shouldn't reward a child in maths or English for doing a small part of it well knowing it is a huge deal to them. That's the point.

When it comes to behaviour and social topics people are very quick to be like "they've done this tiny thing once so no they don't deserve a certificate/sticker/reward. If they're not consistently great like my child then they don't deserve it".

People are saying that their dc are upset when children who are being violent and aggressive to them and are destructive to the classroom are getting star of the week for lasting a 30 min lesson without injuring someone else
Most posts aren't discussing violence between students. If there's violence in the classroom, I'd find it a little odd that parents would be that bothered about a bit of paper. As a parent and teacher if there was violence in my children's classroom I'd be up at school with safeguarding concerns and wanting assurances how my child is being kept safe.

Like I've said countless times if people really do think that their children's school is ignoring all the good children and not meeting their children's needs, they need to talk to the school because there's probably bigger educational issues there.

It's the the naughty kids don't deserve awards for doing something once because all the other kids manage rhetoric I have an issue with.