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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have pointed out choking hazard - or did I not do enough?

114 replies

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 18:54

Just about to get out of my car and young mum was approaching along the pavement, so I waited before opening the door. One little boy lagging a bit behind, so she was turning to him - other smaller boy in pushchair, with a lollipop in his mouth (one of those that is sort of round with a flattened middle and domed top and bottom); he did not have hold of the stick and for all the world looked as though he was close to choking/gagging - squinting his eyes closed and reaching for the stick.

I pointed this out to her (not nastily, before anyone thinks I was) as she drew level, and she turned at me sharply (with a myob expression...) and as she did I noticed a hearing aid on my side. So I pointed towards him, and asked if he was OK. She gave a cursory glance over the handle and said, "he'll be all right", and turned her attention again to the one coming up behind.

My throat closes as I think about it even now (it was yesterday), and I do wish I had been more forceful. What do others think?

(I am way past having a little one, so maybe out of touch....)

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 22/09/2023 18:56

Mine had lollipops age 2/3. How old was the child?

AtomicBlondeRose · 22/09/2023 18:57

I hate little kids walking around with lollipops. They are really dangerous! I never let mine run around with them, but you see it all the time.

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 18:57

I'm going to say less than two....
But it was rather the fact that he looked as though he was close to choking - which can happen at any age, don't you think?

OP posts:
Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 18:59

Chances are he'd be fine, your issues around chocking etc should not be passed on to others.

ThomasinaLivesHere · 22/09/2023 19:03

You did something. I wouldn’t feel guilty. Parents will have different level of risks they’ll take with their children. You can’t change that. I personally hate lollies too. Choking hazard and bad for teeth.

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 19:04

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 18:59

Chances are he'd be fine, your issues around chocking etc should not be passed on to others.

Hm - OK.

(I don't have any issues other than those of a regular human being - albeit an exceptionally observant one.)

OP posts:
Hfuhruhurr · 22/09/2023 19:05

Those boiled sweet lollies take about the same amount of time to suck down to toddler-oesophogus size as they do to come off the stick. If my younger kids have them I'm always with them until they finish the lolly.

Choking is a risk, particularly in under 5s.

There are no "issues around chocking" of being aware of this fact and trying to mitigate the risk.

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 19:06

ThomasinaLivesHere · 22/09/2023 19:03

You did something. I wouldn’t feel guilty. Parents will have different level of risks they’ll take with their children. You can’t change that. I personally hate lollies too. Choking hazard and bad for teeth.

I do agree, and was not judging (her) for him having the lollie, but what I could see of how he looked, which was rather a health hazard happening right in front of me.

OP posts:
AuntMarch · 22/09/2023 19:08

I have only just allowed my 4 year old to have one from a party bag - watched him like a hawk and hated every second of it. No way I'd have him out of view, which a forward facing buggy would be!

But we can't police other people parenting decisions. I think you were right in what you did considering you thought he might be struggling, but don't know what else you could have done beyond that without over stepping.

endofthelinefinally · 22/09/2023 19:11

I saw a toddler choke to death on a lolly when I was a child. I have never got over it and I am in my late 60s. I hate seeing children walking (running) with those round lollies in their mouths. So dangerous.

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:12

@LighthouseTheme but you want to control others parenting...... back off!

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:13

endofthelinefinally · 22/09/2023 19:11

I saw a toddler choke to death on a lolly when I was a child. I have never got over it and I am in my late 60s. I hate seeing children walking (running) with those round lollies in their mouths. So dangerous.

It's a wonder they're still sold if they are so dangerous!

ginandtonicwithlimes · 22/09/2023 19:14

Too young for a lolly from the sound of it.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 22/09/2023 19:15

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:13

It's a wonder they're still sold if they are so dangerous!

Cot bumpers are still sold ..ruins your argument. 😂

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 19:15

endofthelinefinally · 22/09/2023 19:11

I saw a toddler choke to death on a lolly when I was a child. I have never got over it and I am in my late 60s. I hate seeing children walking (running) with those round lollies in their mouths. So dangerous.

Oh God, how awful.
I am obviously still thinking about what I saw as a close call (at least I hope he was/is safe), I can imagine how what you saw would stay with you.

I never allowed my daughter to have them, and I don't recall that she ever wanted them (she's 35 now) but we are of course, not all the same.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 22/09/2023 19:15

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:13

It's a wonder they're still sold if they are so dangerous!

Less dangerous for a five year old than a toddler I suppose. Less dangerous if eaten sitting down rather than running around. Many things depend on parents having some common sense.

autumnmakesmehappy · 22/09/2023 19:17

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:12

@LighthouseTheme but you want to control others parenting...... back off!

I don't get that impression at all. The OP thought a child was about to choke and pointed it out from a place of concern. I think I would prefer someone pointed it out to me than have my child choke.

YouHoooo · 22/09/2023 19:18

The packaging says they’re not for under 5s. I read this on it because 3yo DD had one in a party bag recently - I filtched it before she saw it and cursed the parents who provided it!

Stupid, dangerous things.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 22/09/2023 19:18

autumnmakesmehappy · 22/09/2023 19:17

I don't get that impression at all. The OP thought a child was about to choke and pointed it out from a place of concern. I think I would prefer someone pointed it out to me than have my child choke.

Yep.

Whyohwhyohwhy123 · 22/09/2023 19:18

I hate lollies and have taught my 6 year old to smash them with a hammer and then eat the pieces. Or I bin them when he’s not looking

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 19:18

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:12

@LighthouseTheme but you want to control others parenting...... back off!

Don't be daft - of course I don't.
I saw what looked like a child about to choke - no matter whether on a lollie, or from putting something else in his mouth.
If it was your child, and you were distracted by your other one, would you really not hope that someone would point out to you that your child LOOKED AS THOUGH THEY COULD BE CHOKING???

OP posts:
autumnmakesmehappy · 22/09/2023 19:18

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:13

It's a wonder they're still sold if they are so dangerous!

I think I read somewhere that the biggest risk factor foods for choking are grapes and sausages when cut into circles.

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 19:23

AuntMarch · 22/09/2023 19:08

I have only just allowed my 4 year old to have one from a party bag - watched him like a hawk and hated every second of it. No way I'd have him out of view, which a forward facing buggy would be!

But we can't police other people parenting decisions. I think you were right in what you did considering you thought he might be struggling, but don't know what else you could have done beyond that without over stepping.

Yes, he was facing forward, which I why I noticed.....

I think they are quite awful, and always remember how we were told that you might as well be bathing their teeth in sugar, and that was my primary reason, and so the choking never came into it.

I guess overstepping seems so when it prevents an incident, rather than being able to help WHEN there is an incident. I do think if there had been more overt choking signs (what I saw was bad enough), I would have done more, and damn the consequences.

OP posts:
Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:25

@LighthouseTheme TYPING IN UPPER CASE LETTERS, JUST SHOWS ME HOW OVERBEARING YOU ARE!

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:26

Whyohwhyohwhy123 · 22/09/2023 19:18

I hate lollies and have taught my 6 year old to smash them with a hammer and then eat the pieces. Or I bin them when he’s not looking

A six year old with a hammer..... safety conscious?

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