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Original poster

To have pointed out choking hazard - or did I not do enough?

114 replies

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 18:54

Just about to get out of my car and young mum was approaching along the pavement, so I waited before opening the door. One little boy lagging a bit behind, so she was turning to him - other smaller boy in pushchair, with a lollipop in his mouth (one of those that is sort of round with a flattened middle and domed top and bottom); he did not have hold of the stick and for all the world looked as though he was close to choking/gagging - squinting his eyes closed and reaching for the stick.

I pointed this out to her (not nastily, before anyone thinks I was) as she drew level, and she turned at me sharply (with a myob expression...) and as she did I noticed a hearing aid on my side. So I pointed towards him, and asked if he was OK. She gave a cursory glance over the handle and said, "he'll be all right", and turned her attention again to the one coming up behind.

My throat closes as I think about it even now (it was yesterday), and I do wish I had been more forceful. What do others think?

(I am way past having a little one, so maybe out of touch....)

OP posts:
Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 20:57

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 20:24

Hmm - next time, I'll look the other way - Darwninism at it's finest.

Good idea!

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 21:00

LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 20:26

@Lahdedahiam It was not meant as a term of endearment in this case; you were goading and being obtuse (although maybe you can't help it?).
The caps lock was because I was too lazy to find the Italics option - would that have offended you as much??
(FFS)

I'm supposed to know you used caps lock because you're lazy? I took it at face value as PA as your use of "my darling" was.

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 21:01

@GodDammitCecil that's not "close" to choking, that is choking!

Hufflepods · 22/09/2023 21:05

How can someone look like that are “about to choke” though?? Other than the assumption that choking from a lolly is inevitable which frankly is judgemental.
You can’t predict the future, it’s impossible for someone to look close to choking or like they are about to choke.

In a split second he seemed to be choking, about to choke but also you list in fair detail the shape of the lolly … how could be be choking it if it wasn’t even in his mouth?

IMustDoMoreExercise · 22/09/2023 21:10

AtomicBlondeRose · 22/09/2023 18:57

I hate little kids walking around with lollipops. They are really dangerous! I never let mine run around with them, but you see it all the time.

My husband knew someone whose child was eating a lolly pop who fell and the stick when through the roof of his mouth.

Iamnotastick · 22/09/2023 21:14

You were so right to point out. I still recall the woman whose toddler choked on popcorn while they were in the front facing pram and the parent didnt realise.

Curseofthenation · 22/09/2023 21:15

I doubt the child was near choking, there's no such thing. Either the lolly came off the stick or it didn't. However, there was no harm in being cautious and showing concern.

If you came across even half as arrogant and judgemental as you are on this thread then I would assume that is why her back was up. Sometimes it's the delivery of a 'concern' that bothers people.

I say this as someone that does not give my DC lollies due to the choking risk.

autienotnaughty · 22/09/2023 21:15

@Lahdedahiam are you being sarcastic?

They are not suitable for young children. Well done for saying something op

WandaWonder · 22/09/2023 21:18

For my own child no they never had these till 5 or so I think even then maybe one or two only as I hate them but no it is not something I think I need to teach other people

PinkMoscatoLover · 22/09/2023 21:20

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 19:12

@LighthouseTheme but you want to control others parenting...... back off!

You’re mad😂 would you rather someone let’s your child choke without intervening?!

Today, my 17 month managed to pull the sun visor that’s attached the hood of the buggy down onto his face. We were on the bus so I couldn’t see what he was doing as he was forward facing. A nice woman pointed to him, I saw what happened and said thank you so much!

How is something like that trying to control other peoples parenting? Should kids just be left at risk because the parent hasn’t noticed. Madness

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 21:46

@PinkMoscatoLover the child wasn't choking though!

GodDammitCecil · 22/09/2023 21:53

So it can only be classed as choking if the person dies?

Not if the throat or windpipe gets blocked and there’s a bodily reaction to that, and it then gets dislodged?

Who knew….. 😳

PinkMoscatoLover · 22/09/2023 21:54

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 21:46

@PinkMoscatoLover the child wasn't choking though!

Isn’t it better to SUSPECT a child is choking and inform the parent instead of just ignoring it?

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 22:00

@PinkMoscatoLover the child WASN'T choking! (Are you to lazy to find italics as well)! The mother gave a "cursory glance" and confirmed all fine. Why would OP think the child was choking, or are you suggesting the mother was so lax that she just said her child wasn't choking?

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 22:01

GodDammitCecil · 22/09/2023 21:53

So it can only be classed as choking if the person dies?

Not if the throat or windpipe gets blocked and there’s a bodily reaction to that, and it then gets dislodged?

Who knew….. 😳

The child wasn't choking.... the mother didn't intervene and unless you're suggesting the mother would've ignored her child choking then the OP was over zealous!

GodDammitCecil · 22/09/2023 22:02

You weren’t even there.

PinkMoscatoLover · 22/09/2023 22:07

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 22:00

@PinkMoscatoLover the child WASN'T choking! (Are you to lazy to find italics as well)! The mother gave a "cursory glance" and confirmed all fine. Why would OP think the child was choking, or are you suggesting the mother was so lax that she just said her child wasn't choking?

Okay bye you can’t be spoken too!

ana101012 · 22/09/2023 22:08

While I would feel shit for a couple of seconds you're the type of person I would appreciate! I'm a FTM and while I'm not an idiot I'm not one of those that read every rule on bringing up a child as I know it would personally make me worry and question every little thing. You can't always see kids in their pushchairs so if this was my DD and you saw something I couldn't see I would appreciate that you told me.

Lahdedahiam · 22/09/2023 22:08

GodDammitCecil · 22/09/2023 22:02

You weren’t even there.

You need to learn to quote, otherworldly see this is a waste of time 🙄

GodDammitCecil · 22/09/2023 22:10

I need to get off MN. What a monumental waste of time this is.

On with my day, now.

ATerrorofLeftovers · 22/09/2023 22:14

PinkMoscatoLover · 22/09/2023 21:54

Isn’t it better to SUSPECT a child is choking and inform the parent instead of just ignoring it?

Show quote history

Obviously not, if the parent in question can’t cope with their own emotions and would rather avoid the discomfort of feeling them than ensure their child’s safety. 🤷‍♀️

301963Laurie · 22/09/2023 22:20

OP you definitely reacted how any reasonable person would. Ignore the goady PP .X

Original poster
LighthouseTheme · 22/09/2023 22:31

301963Laurie · 22/09/2023 22:20

OP you definitely reacted how any reasonable person would. Ignore the goady PP .X

I didn't even really think - it was more of an instinct, and I am "happy" to be proved wrong, and that he was "fine".

Some time ago, I ignored/dismissed a warning sign - believing someone else was responsible and would sort it out. It led to the awful prolonged death of a horse - and I have never forgiven myself for not intervening. Maybe that played a part, at some deep level, in what I mentioned yesterday.

Back then, there was no Mumsnet as an outlet for discussion (and some kind of support) or maybe just some other opinions, so I live with the guilt and sadness to this day. But I don't busybody as a daily habit, I promise.

OP posts:
Phoenix76 · 22/09/2023 22:33

You did the right thing. We should all look out for each other and if this is interpreted as interfering I'd rather deal with someone interfering than attend my child's funeral.

Regards to banning them the simple fact is that pretty much anything can cause choking we simply can't ban everything, even the ones with increased risk such as grapes, what we can do is teach safety and supervise when our children are in possession of such things and also attend first aid courses (often free) so we have a chance if anything happens.

carly2803 · 22/09/2023 22:34

lollies are banned in our house - simple as that

not worth the risk IMO