To not get up and do DHs dinner when he gets in

[FlamboMango]

Full disclosure, I have a lovely life. I work 2 days but the rest of the time am at home, school aged children, cleaner and dog walker, no financial worries. I earn a pittance and on my working days DH does dinner, school runs, activities whilst trying to WFH. DH earns hundreds of thousands a year and supports our lifestyle 100%, my salary basically buys 2 food shops a month.

Weds and Thurs are DHs client days, so he goes into office then entertains clients after. Often home late those days but always wants to eat dinner. I generally cook and plate his up then he when he gets in I get up, make him a cup of tea, heat his dinner up.

Tonight we had pizza so I had to get off my arse at 21.30 when he got in and cook a pizza. I can’t be bothered. My days are very restful but the afternoons - school
runs, dinner, activities, hustling kids to shower and teeth clean, packed lunches, cleaning kitchen, bed time etc…. By 8pm when I’m sitting down I want to stay sitting down not get up and cook pizza.

AIBU to say if he gets in after 830
he heats up his own tea and I don’t have to move?

The afternoons are busy though

I think you are allowed to feel that way, it is annoying to know that you are going to have to get up again when you have finally sat down, I never fully relax when that happens. It is ok to find it annoying.

I think expecting you to be happy about having to get up again is the pain but if he is getting in at 9.30, I imagine that it is nice for him to have someone throw some food in while he puts his bag away and gets changed. Does he make sure you have a meal on your working days?

If he is supporting you on your work days, I would try and be supportive back. It is only a pizza, or perhaps try something that you throw in a slow cooker instead. There are quite a few four hours recipes. Then you can prepare the meal as you cook dinner for you and your children earlier but you just have to throw it on a plate when he is home.

On the face of it yabu

But first of all I think this is a wind up/reverse

Second of all, is your labour being recognised by him? Have you got a pension / savings etc? There's probably more to it than meets the eye here.

Also you might be bored. Work more / get him to do more childcare. It's kind of thankless and often the money doesn't seem to actually help

What's à reverse? Husband posting under the guise of wife?

This

Obviously a wind up.

This has to be a joke ?
School age children ( assume neither have additional support needs ) 2 days a week work , he cooks and takes over all the children activities on your working days .
You have a cleaner so you’re not bogged down in domestic drudgery.
You have a dog walker so you’re not even having to sort the dog out .
The least you can do is cook a meal that will keep ( some things are simply not nice re heated )
If he is indeed bringing home a massive salary then you can buy Waitrose ready meals for those evenings 🙄

Honestly, my husband and I both work full time with a 3 and 1 year old. Life is extremely hectic and neither of us ever have 'restful days'. But if he was working all day til 20:30 while I'd been doing nothing all day, or even while I'd been working all day, I wouldn't think twice about making him some food because I love and care about him.

Is this a joke or did you just come on here to boast ? You’re beyond lazy. Yes, get off your arse and cook for him when he gets home - it’s the least you can do considering the lifestyle he provides for you and your children. And fyi bunging a pizza in the oven isn’t cooking.

Really a non-issue for both of you.

Shouldn't be too much for either you to heat up the pizza, or for your DH to do it. Bit different if you are actually cooking a meal from scratch.

😄 I can't imagine any husband bothering to jump on MN and do that.

Its almost as much effort as jumping off the couch to make a pizza

🤪🤣🤣

“I can’t be bothered” gives the game away. Should have been a better choice of words here op.

OP has not returned to the thread, posted 2 days ago.

Which suggests it's genuine and she's been shamed by the responses.

I don’t want to give exact details in case it’s outing but he’s in multi million pound construction companies (high management). We couldn’t have more different finances. I should add, not in the UK but the US.

It’s very unreasonably of dh not to employ a housekeeper/cook to your current staff of cleaner and dog walker. Ltb

YABVU - I thought you were going to say he was getting in at 2am, or you were working opposite shifts or similar. Surely this is a reverse?

OP has had her arse handed to her so won’t be back…

I thought you meant get up at 3am or something, not get up off your arse from the sofa.

A reverse is when someone posts about a situation but from the other person's point of view. It is incredibly annoying.

This is a wind up? Surely you arent that lazy? Its not midnight its 21:30 ffs

The posters referencing his salary and offering to trade places for a rich husband are.....revolting. It's not about how much anybody earns, and having someone at home is very helpful to the parent who is putting enough into their career to earn that much.

We both work full time, long hours, often finish at this time. We take it in turns basically - whoever gets home from work has a quick shower etc whilst the one at home heats up dinner and we sit together. Totally unrelated to salary or who works more outside of the home, we share it to acknowledge the day's at an end and we've both done plenty and it's time to share the process of winding down.

Thanks yes, so it is what I thought

OK, yes you should have something nice ready for him to heat up.

But does he really want a full dinner at 9:30 - I wouldn't be able to sleep after that - so I would be thinking of lighter meals anyway like baked salmon, stir fry, or frittata tbh. Just make yourself a coffee when he's on the way home to wake up.

I don't find that at all, if I hadn't eaten dinner up until that point I'd be ravenous and ready to devour a massive takeaway pizza, and it wouldn't stop me sleeping at all.