Page 3 | To tell teacher about this

Original poster

Worriedeve · 23/09/2023 20:20

My son is not like this and I’ve always said boys are easier argh

OP posts:

Cosyblankets · 23/09/2023 20:22

As a teacher i would have no problem having with mum having a discussion about this and agree to keep a closer eye on the child.
Maybe they could make sure they're not sat together in class or they don't work together in a group. Probably not much they can do at lunchtime etc.
It didn't seem to me that she was asking the school to deal with everything, just a bit of support.
It may be that this child is the leader, it may be that she feels she has to act out so she doesn't get bullied.
No harm in talking to the teacher.
I'm quite surprised at some of these responses

Somaliwildass · 23/09/2023 20:23

The teacher's doing her job. You do yours.

MidnightOnceMore · 23/09/2023 20:25

Worriedeve · 21/09/2023 20:22

The thing is she’s good as gold at school this is outside school!!!

Then it's a parenting responsibility, not a school one?!

Comedycook · 23/09/2023 20:26

MidnightOnceMore · 23/09/2023 20:25

Then it's a parenting responsibility, not a school one?!

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Exactly. Teachers can't solve everything. Parent your child. It's your job.

marcopront · 23/09/2023 20:28

Worriedeve · 23/09/2023 20:01

i have heard of a parent asking their form teacher to not be sat next to a particular child but the teacher refused this

Do you think they are having conversations about make up in class?
Surely the issue is out of the classroom.

Luxell934 · 23/09/2023 20:31

I mean I guess the teacher could move your daughters seat away from these girls in class, but I presume they will still be together at lunch and break times so I really don’t think it will change anything. It’s not the teachers job to parent your child, please don’t add this to their list of things they need to do that they are not paid for.

wafflingworrier · 23/09/2023 20:33

What do you expect the teacher to do?! Stalk your daughter every playtime and keep her from talking to her friends? FFS.

HauntedPencil · 23/09/2023 20:37

Cosyblankets · 23/09/2023 20:22

As a teacher i would have no problem having with mum having a discussion about this and agree to keep a closer eye on the child.
Maybe they could make sure they're not sat together in class or they don't work together in a group. Probably not much they can do at lunchtime etc.
It didn't seem to me that she was asking the school to deal with everything, just a bit of support.
It may be that this child is the leader, it may be that she feels she has to act out so she doesn't get bullied.
No harm in talking to the teacher.
I'm quite surprised at some of these responses

Idk surely this will depend on the circumstances it's not really very nice for the other kids to have a mum call and decide they are a "bad influence" and isolate them from a friend?

HauntedPencil · 23/09/2023 20:38

She's not made a shank she's interested in make up and being cheeky. Sounds pretty usual for an 11 yo?

Chickpea17 · 23/09/2023 20:41

The teacher's doing her job. You do yours.

C152 · 23/09/2023 20:47

You aren't unreasonable to be concerned about your daughter's behaviour and wonder if it's new friends that are a bad influence. It is unreasonable to expect her teacher to do anything about this, unless the girls are all behaving badly in school.

Sunshinenrain · 23/09/2023 20:49

Worriedeve · 21/09/2023 20:22

The thing is she’s good as gold at school this is outside school!!!

OP you need to parent your own child.
The teacher can only do so much.

Chances are if she’s picking up any negative behaviour it’s happening at break times, when the teacher isn’t even around.

Just tell her that her behaviour isn’t acceptable and start giving punishments for bad behaviour.

If you think there is any bullying going on then definitely speak to the school.
But as she’s well behaved in school there’s not going to be a lot they can do.

RandomButtons · 23/09/2023 20:50

Congratulations, you’ve got a pre-teen. Enjoy.

And for goodness sake don’t complain to the teacher that your daughter is interested in make up and short skirts, unless you want to give the staff room something to laugh about.

NancyJoan · 23/09/2023 20:51

HauntedPencil · 23/09/2023 20:38

She's not made a shank she's interested in make up and being cheeky. Sounds pretty usual for an 11 yo?

It’s a slippery slope, tbf.

HerMammy · 23/09/2023 20:51

If she's good as good at school, sitting elsewhere is pointless.
Wake up and be a parent , accept she's not a malleable toddler anymore.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 23/09/2023 20:55

Pebblesandwaves · 23/09/2023 19:59

Hi OP, I work in a school and this is definitely something you can raise with the teacher.

She can raise it. There's not a lot the teacher can or will do if there aren't any actual real issues. What OP is complaining about aren't real issues or under the control of the teacher.

alldakatz · 23/09/2023 21:00

Worriedeve · 21/09/2023 19:28

I really think my daughter has started behaving badly since she got in with the wrong 2 girls at school (y6). I’ve noticed a change in her behaviour that is quite bad! (Answering back, interested in makeup/short skirts) The girls she hangs out with are very much like this. Aibu to speak to teacher? Could she do anything?

None of this sounds unusual or very terrible.

tillylula · 23/09/2023 21:01

This is a good time to start teaching makeup skills so there's no makeup mishaps in the teen years no? When I was at school some of the makeup the other girls wore was horrendous!

SnowdaySewday · 23/09/2023 21:02

If your school has a Family Worker, you could speak to them. They can refer you onto a parenting course that will help you prepare for the next steps to come and give you more tools to deal with normal behaviours than trying to pass the responsibility off onto someone else.

If you are so unprepared for the emotional changes that pre-teens go through, are you (and therefore DD) also similarly unprepared for the physical changes?

Sugargliderwombat · 23/09/2023 21:24

Stop blaming other children for your child's behaviour. If you speak to the teacher speak about her behaviour and what you can do to support her.

Cosyblankets · 23/09/2023 21:36

HauntedPencil · 23/09/2023 20:37

Idk surely this will depend on the circumstances it's not really very nice for the other kids to have a mum call and decide they are a "bad influence" and isolate them from a friend?

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I agree that it would need to be carefully worded so as not to sound like she's blaming anyone but there's nothing wrong with having a discussion about it

wafflingworrier · 23/09/2023 21:44

SnowdaySewday · 23/09/2023 21:02

If your school has a Family Worker, you could speak to them. They can refer you onto a parenting course that will help you prepare for the next steps to come and give you more tools to deal with normal behaviours than trying to pass the responsibility off onto someone else.

If you are so unprepared for the emotional changes that pre-teens go through, are you (and therefore DD) also similarly unprepared for the physical changes?

This is good advice

Screamingabdabz · 23/09/2023 21:52

Boys aren’t ‘easier’ - stop with the sexist nonsense. Your daughter was rude to a neighbour - the other girls did not do that. So this requires parenting - explain you are disappointed she was rude, why she was rude and model how she should’ve responded.

Yes peer pressure is a thing but if that is the case, and her behaviour is totally a result of the influence of these other children, why is she so easily lead? Again parenting. And setting expectations around respect, behaviour, attitude etc.

You sound very passive and happy to blame other children without any recall to the many years of upbringing on your watch!

KissyMissy · 23/09/2023 22:14

MagentaRocks · 23/09/2023 19:30

Totally a parenting issue. The teacher does not have time to police friendships at school. You need to deal with this yourself.

Yep! Nothing to do with the teacher, your being ridiculous