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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell teacher about this

107 replies

Worriedeve · 21/09/2023 19:28

I really think my daughter has started behaving badly since she got in with the wrong 2 girls at school (y6). I’ve noticed a change in her behaviour that is quite bad! (Answering back, interested in makeup/short skirts) The girls she hangs out with are very much like this. Aibu to speak to teacher? Could she do anything?

OP posts:
Greensleeves · 23/09/2023 19:32

The other girls' parents are probably making similar assumptions about your daughter, OP. They do change at this age; what you're describing is developmentally normal. Brace yourself for secondary school Grin

Hercisback · 23/09/2023 19:32

This is a parenting issue not a teacher problem.

Enforce consequences your child actually cares about.

JudgeJ · 23/09/2023 19:34

HerMammy · 21/09/2023 20:28

Oh dear, have you had a very sheltered life? did you not expect her to grow up?
There'll be lots more looks that could
kill 🤣

I wish I had a pound for every parent who came to Year 7 parents' meetings blaming the school for their dear child's deteriorating behaviour!

BusyMum47 · 23/09/2023 19:35

Worriedeve · 21/09/2023 20:18

@yelloworchids
my neighbour said when she asked her kindly to close the gate she gave her a look that would kill 😩

So parent your child - stop expecting the school to do it!

And yes, I'm a teacher.

WhateverMate · 23/09/2023 19:35

Worriedeve · 23/09/2023 19:29

But it is clearly the crowd she hangs out with at school!

No it isn't. It's her she's changing as kids tend to when they grow up and she's choosing her friends accordingly.

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 23/09/2023 19:35

How is it 'clearly' the other kids at school? How?

BusyMum47 · 23/09/2023 19:36

Hufflepods · 21/09/2023 20:24

The thing is she’s good as gold at school this is outside school!!!

So why would you think it’s her teacher’s responsibility?

Exactly!!!!!!⬆️

MatthewsMumFromTikTok · 23/09/2023 19:36

Maybe it's your own DD leading this.... maybe the other kids are copying your aDD?

piefacedClique · 23/09/2023 19:37

🙈

itsgettingweird · 23/09/2023 19:37

She's your daughter.

Why would you tell the teacher what she's probably already noticed rather than just deal with it?

Dartmoorcheffy · 23/09/2023 19:37

I'm.assuming you led a very innocent and sheltered life when you were her age. You are in for a rough few years I predict.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 23/09/2023 19:37

Worriedeve · 23/09/2023 19:29

But it is clearly the crowd she hangs out with at school!

And?!?

Testina · 23/09/2023 19:43
  1. step up and parent your own child
  2. she is “that crowd” at school
  3. since when was make up and a short skirt bad behaviour? 🤣

I’ve got a 15yo with a “day school make up look” that involves about 10 products. She wears shorts under her skirt, it’s so short. She’s also friendly, well mannered, sticks up for a bullied autistic boy in her class even though he’s personally been rude to her in the past, and is in every top set 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is your job, not the teacher’s.
You really need to understand that she’s moving into the same phase of behaviour as the other 2 girls. It’s not them. She is part of it too. Y6, they think they’re important in top year, they get too big for their boots, they’ve got coursing hormones, they’re ready for a lot for independence… and it’s your job to parent through it.

anomaly2 · 23/09/2023 19:48

So your DD is part of a group of girls behaving poorly. I bet some of the other mums are despairing of the bad influence your dd is having on their dds. What exactly is a teacher going to do? Try parenting your dd

VickyEadieofThigh · 23/09/2023 19:49

Worriedeve · 21/09/2023 20:22

The thing is she’s good as gold at school this is outside school!!!

Which makes it entirely YOUR issue to deal with. Parent your own child.

Pebblesandwaves · 23/09/2023 19:59

Hi OP, I work in a school and this is definitely something you can raise with the teacher.

Original poster
Worriedeve · 23/09/2023 19:59

Because she started to play up since she was in this crowd!

OP posts:
marcopront · 23/09/2023 20:00

Pebblesandwaves · 23/09/2023 19:59

Hi OP, I work in a school and this is definitely something you can raise with the teacher.

What do you think the school could do?

HauntedPencil · 23/09/2023 20:01

Hmmm sounds a bit like the classic my kid can't do any wrong, it's those other nasty kids

Original poster
Worriedeve · 23/09/2023 20:01

i have heard of a parent asking their form teacher to not be sat next to a particular child but the teacher refused this

OP posts:
VickyEadieofThigh · 23/09/2023 20:02

Pebblesandwaves · 23/09/2023 19:59

Hi OP, I work in a school and this is definitely something you can raise with the teacher.

To what end? What do you think the teacher should do that the OP is unable or unwilling to do?

Original poster
Worriedeve · 23/09/2023 20:02

The other girls are much physically bigger and more sassy than my child.

OP posts:
Hercisback · 23/09/2023 20:04

Parent. Your. Child.

Alargeoneplease89 · 23/09/2023 20:05

It's up to you to sort this not the teacher, don't let her out if she's going to hang around with children you disapprove of, I don't understand how it's that difficult?

It's not normal behaviour, no idea why another PP says that. This is the age you guide them on your expectations and nip it in the bud.

Pebblesandwaves · 23/09/2023 20:06

Having open communication with parents is so important and if they have noticed a negative change in behaviour that's impacting daily life then we'd like to know. It's good for us to be aware of it and note any changes we have also seen. We can provide opportunities with the child to talk through any problems they may be experiencing and encourage friendships with other children in the class by changing who they are sitting next to and who they are partnered with in group work.