German machines bleeping at me

[itsmeafterall]

Lighthearted.

My kitchen has an array of very efficient, quality and good looking (German) appliances. They do their job well.

Buy they all beep, Aggressively, at me all of the time.

The dishwasher beeps (and opens its own door!) at cycle start and end
The induction Hob beeps when you turn it on, when you put something on it, when you set it, when the timer is up, when the magnetic knob becomes attached
And when you accidentally lock it.

The oven beeps when you set it, when it's at correct temperature and when it's finished it's thing.

The washing machine is a bastard.
It beeps endlessly at cycle end until you get up and see to it. Every 10 seconds. 😳

It's a fecking cacophony of beeps in my kitchen. Need 🎧

Why oh why ? And is this confined only to German appliances or do others do it too ?

@BertieBotts mine is set to English butler and I’ve grown quite fond of him even though, judging by his work, he’s drinking on the job and then stops to sleep it off.

I have a Bosch WM and a Siemens DW, neither of them make a sound, as soon as I got them I looked up how to disable it. Briefly had the music playing Samsung WM and immediately turned it off but it insisted on travelling to the opposite side of the kitchen and the fitters couldn't fix it so it went back. Stupid thing. If you use the timer and sleep near the thing it wakes you up when it finishes.

However, I also have a Heston Sage mini oven/air fryer and it makes me jump out of my skin every time it reaches the desired temperature, it shouts as me to tell me to put something in it. And again when it is done. There are barely any instructions and I forget to look it up to see if I can stop it, I suspect not, it is a very determined little sod.

Mine does that, it starts to fill up but then stops, adds more water, stops sits there doing nothing, the length of time varies..it then turns the drum twice, stops again adds more water then stops for ‘God knows how long mode’ after which it beeps at me to tell me it’s going into wash mode. I had to Google this palaver, apparently it’s an ‘intelligent’ washer, it weighs the load and adjusts the amount of water accordingly. The pause after the drum rotation lets the enzymes in the detergent get busy on the dirty clothes, soaking uses less electricity than agitation. Who knew!

My Bosch fridge freezer gives me serious anxiety. Need to find the butter? Well you’d better bloody hurry up because klaxons will go off if you have the door open for more than 10 seconds. Unpacking the shopping is terrifying if you’ve got lots of fridge stuff. BEEEEP!!
The hob, “Ooh you put something on me and it’s too hot/ cold/ wrong shape”BEEEP! “Everybody look at me, I’m being turned up/down” BEEEEEEP!! And don’t get me started on the microwave, what do you think I’m going to do when the peas are done, Make a run for it? There really in no need to beep 8 BLOODY TIMES!!! BEEPYBEEEPYBEEEPBEEEEEEP aaargh. Drives me nuts.

I have a Bosch dishwasher, Neff induction hob, two Neff ovens and a German DH and we both agree 😂 In fact the first time I had unwarranted beeping (I think because I placed something on the hob that it wasn't expecting, bless) and I was flapping about how to fucking turn it off, DH observed that it sounded "very German" and "there must be a reason for it."

Anyway, commiserations. At least I've got my slide and hide door 🤓

Aah you are all making me feel
So much better and not so alone. 😊

@StamppotAndGravy that's shite. You must be going bonkers with all of that. My new DW has an app option. Thinking I might give it a wide berth now. Already have my I watch beeping notifications at me every few seconds adding more to that would be madness.

Am loving the talking robot hoovers.

Thanks to @Timeforchangeithink I've attempted to gag the Beepy WM Only time will tell.

It's woman (women!) vs the machine mwaaaaahaaaahaaaahaaaa (evil laugh) . We will prevail.

Oh! And a slow cooker that does one loud beep when it's finished. It's very sudden and loud and startles me out of my wits because I've forgotten it's on.
I can't check the make of it right now because I'm sitting under a cat and he cannot be disturbed.

Ja!

I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.

My Bosch appliances liked to sing to me when they arrived but they have been programmed to be absolutely completely silent. I am not a fan of machines that go ping.

😂

@EerieSilence given your user name I'm not sure you belong on this thread as you seemingly have a quiet life? 😬

My parents have a Samsung washing machine that plays a merry little tune every time it finishes a load. If I were mine I would have found out how to disable it a very long time ago! They also have a microwave that beeps every few seconds if you don't open the door immediately after it notifies you of it finishing cooking.

My beko washer dryer gives a couple of easily ignorable beeps and then shuts up. I'm eternally grateful

I have a problem with some noisy Croatians (tumble dryer) and Swedes (washing machine). They sing like they’re drunk.

My German washing machine beeps insistently and annoyingly. Yet when you rush to shut the fucking thing up switch it off, the door is still locked. Bleeps to get you to open it, door still locked as it’s “too hot”. It makes me furious every time.

My new Samsung washing machine plays a tune like an ice cream van at the end of the programme and makes my dogs bark. It goes on for about two minutes 🤦🏽‍♀️

My washing machine and tumble dryer (both South Korean) play a jaunty little tune when they are done that lasts quite some time. I am yet to figure out if I can change this as it’s actually quite annoying.

I think we might have the machine! I can’t cope with the jolliness

oops accidentally quoted myself 🙈

😂 Frazzledstar 🤣🤣

Yes it's very annoying now. I don't like being told what to do by a kitchen appliance

I don’t mind them beeping to say they’ve finished and haven’t they done well. I DO mind them beeping insistently every 30 seconds until you come to kill them warmly congratulate them in person. I live in a flat and I can hear the washing machine from everywhere in it. My lucky partner is partially deaf and has noooo idea they even make a noise 🙉

They should design them so you can program them to make a noise of your choice;

• a polite ‘a-hem’
• a ‘ta daaaa!’
• George Clooney saying ‘Hey gorgeous, the washings done and you are looking good today!’
• A stern sounding head teacher or Sargent major shouting DH’s name and then ‘get the washing out and stop scratching your arse!’

My John Lewis washing machine beeps to tell me it’s finished then continues to beep until I either switch it off or empty it. Unfortunately the dog is losing his hearing but can pick up on that sound. I’ve then got the machine beeping and the dog howling until I sort one or the other out.

The car is also a bit dramatic. Bloody parking sensors going off from all directions when there’s absolutely no need. It’s a tiny car, I can see all around it, why the need for sensors I don’t know.