Do you wish parents Happy Anniversary

[BumbleBee75]

So my Dad passed a few years ago now.

Text Mum today as usual asking how she is etc and she goes on to say how she 'managed to get through the day yesterday as it was their Wedding Anniversary'. She said friends had taken her out to try and take her mind off it.

She is a bit melodramatic, always has been, but am I heartless? Do you generally take note of your parents wedding anniversary (or
anyone else's for that matter)

I lost my first husband 19 years ago and nobody has ever text or called me on our wedding anniversary.

Should I have remembered this/called or am I a horrible heartless daughter?

I remember there being a small family celebration of my parents’ 25th anniversary and my grandparents’ 50th because those are generally notable (Silver and Gold) My daughters have no idea about when our anniversary is - well, they know it’s winter because we’ve told them stories about the valiant efforts of some guests getting to the wedding !

I used to... But the one year I remembered and they didn't, it was shortly followed by a speech about how their anniversary is for them and I'm not expected to get them anything... Big ones excluded of course. I might be miserable, but I figure this for most anniversaries now.

I haven't got a clue when my parents married, divorced & remarried.

Maybe it's a generational celebration? I.e the trend has fizzled out over the years.

My parents were happily married for 40 years, yet they made so little of their anniversary that if I was asked for the date of their marriage, I would have to look it up in my 'important documents' file. They certainly wouldn't have expected me to send them a card.

Even with people who do more to celebrate their anniversary, I don't think they usually expect cards from their children. It's not like Mother's or Father's Day; it's something personal between the couple, and celebrates an event which- at least traditionally - occurred before the children came into existence.

And I think that my mum would have found it very upsetting if someone had sent her anniversary cards after my dad died: as though they were twisting the knife in.

My parents wedding anniversary was December 18th and that was the day we decorated our Xmas tree. It was always made a special day for us too.

I used to send a card to my mum and step-father when he was alive. Their last anniversary was a big one and we'd (siblings) all clubbed together to send them off to a hotel somewhere nice for the weekend. I'm glad they got to enjoy it as he died 6 months later.

Yes, of course.

My mother expects her children to send her a card, flowers and visit on her wedding anniversary. I've just started a new job, DS has started at high school and I'm going through a relationship breakdown so looking to move out. I forgot last week.

My life has been made hell by her since. Calling me selfish, saying I deserve what has happened, hope I fail in my job, no wonder my relationship has broken down off this is what I'm like etc.

So I won't be sending any cards again and have gone very LC for the foreseeable future.

Jesus, that sounds awful. Your life will be so much lighter and easier without her in it!

We don’t mention when our anniversary is to our DC. I’m definitely intending to stick to that reading some of these. My DC don’t owe me anything just because me and their Dad decided to get married some years ago!

How old are your DC? Are they interested in your lives before you had them?

I find it odd that so many posters don't know the date their parents got married. Do they never talk to them about their past - where they met, how long they dated, where they got married, when they got married etc?

I do know all these things, and the year and season when they married - just not the exact date. They had a civil marriage in the USA where they were then living, and no big ceremony or wedding party- if they had, maybe I would know the date.

@mydogisthebest I also find it odd adult children don’t know this. To me it’s family history and interesting.

Never not once don't even know when it is!