Do you wish parents Happy Anniversary

[BumbleBee75]

So my Dad passed a few years ago now.

Text Mum today as usual asking how she is etc and she goes on to say how she 'managed to get through the day yesterday as it was their Wedding Anniversary'. She said friends had taken her out to try and take her mind off it.

She is a bit melodramatic, always has been, but am I heartless? Do you generally take note of your parents wedding anniversary (or
anyone else's for that matter)

I lost my first husband 19 years ago and nobody has ever text or called me on our wedding anniversary.

Should I have remembered this/called or am I a horrible heartless daughter?

I found out last year everyone rings my mum on their anniversary. I ring her every day so in that way it’s fine but I felt bad. I don’t think it’s melodramatic to miss the person who was by your side for years though. I always wonder at people on mn who say their dm or mil isn’t over their dh and it’s been eg 2 years- my dad is 15 years gone and I still miss him so I can’t imagine how my mum feels!!!

No, but they have never celebrated it - my mum didn't even know the exact date when I asked her!

Honestly I struggle to remember my own anniversary never mind anyone else's so no I don't.

Yes, this too.

My DDad used to be a bit ‘it’s are anniversary, don’t you know’. My response was that’s between you and mum!
I only vaguely acknowledge me own one. I’m not sentimental.

I give my parents a card and present on their wedding anniversary. Last year, it was a blood pressure machine 😁

I give my parents a card and a small gift every year and then a bigger gift/meal out on special years.

I think it’s nice to, but if your mum doesn’t acknowledge your wedding anniversary she can really expect you to acknowledge hers 🤷‍♀️

I send my parents a card for their wedding anniversary every year. I can totally see how it would be a tough day for your poor mum

When my parents were alive I always gave them an anniversary card and so did both my siblings. We also bought them a present on all the big anniversaries. I probably started giving them a card when I started work at 17.

I send cards to my siblings on their anniversaries and they send to me and DH. We buy presents for each other on big anniversaries, so 25th, 30th and 40th.

I also send cards to my nieces and nephews on their wedding anniversaries and they send to me but we don't buy presents.

DH's parents always sent us a card and we sent them one too.

I always find it odd that so many on here don't acknowledge anniversaries. Card shops have loads of anniversary cards so someone must be buying them

Not really, but then I am an embittered spinster. I know the date and I did treat them when they had a big anniversary. Also know when my sister got married as she deliberately chose a memorable date, but I don't mark it.

I always call or text on their wedding anniversary. My Mum has early onset Alzheimers and I rang this year and she knew it was their anniversary but didn’t realise it was their 45th. They don’t generally celebrate it but I always call them to say happy anniversary.

Never. One of my parents has died now but even when they were both alive we never marked anniversaries. I think we went out for a family meal for their Golden Wedding and that was it. Anniversaries are not a thing in my family, we don't do cards, I would struggle to tell you the date of my sister's other than it was in August.

It depends on what's important to your mum I guess. I'm sure it can be a very difficult day once you've lost your other half, and it would be nice if that was acknowledged.

We always sent a card when my dad was alive. My dad died a few days before his and mums wedding anniversary, so we certainly mentioned it, and stayed with her for the day. The following year would have been their gold wedding anniversary, and we bought a token gift to mark the occasion (a small paperweight with a gold heart in it), which I think meant a lot to mum.

Now, a few years on, we don't really mention it, but mum doesn't really find birthdays/anniversarys particularly hard (at least, no harder than any other day).

I do find it a bit odd that adult siblings don't know when their parents wedding anniversary is though - surely it was mentioned/acknowledged each year when you were growing up.

Funnily enough it's my parents anniversary tomorrow. I might say happy anniversary if I speak to them, but I wouldn't go out of my way to call for that reason/send them a card unless it's a significant one.

That's your view but many many people do celebrate others' anniversaries. All card shops have a large selection of wedding anniversary cards, general ones and ones for family members so people are buying them.

We've been trading bottles of champagne or Chablis and cards with my parents for thirty years. Thought everyone did it. Bloody hell.

No, they barely celebrate it themselves and it always felt like a personal thing for a couple to celebrate, not a wider celebration like a birthday or christmas.
It would feel like sending my uncle a fathers day card, I know he is a dad, but he is not my dad so his celebration is nothing to do with me

I can’t remember my own anniversary 😂

It always surprises me when people say they can't remember their anniversary or how long they have been married.

I guess we are all different but I could never forget the date we got married or how many years we have been married. DH has a terrible memory and can never remember dates but he remembers my birthday, our anniversary and how long we have been married. He also remembers the date we met.

I can remember the date of my parents' wedding, my siblings' weddings, my nieces and nephews' weddings, my cousins' weddings, DH's parents' wedding and his sister's wedding and I have a pretty bad memory. I guess it is because birthdays and anniversaries are important to me

@mydogisthebest my husband can just about remember my birthday but doesn’t remember the childrens. I couldn’t forget my children’s birthday but wedding anniversary, when we met etc I forget.

Gosh! I knew my parents' and still do 12/05/1951. I know my friends', my kids', and always acknowledge! I also always stop a moment on both of mine.
I must be odd!!

I sent my parents a card each year while they were both alive, as they did to DH & I; I remember my sisters and the friend I was MOH for, and they remember mind - texts, sometimes cards if it’s a milestone. MIL used to expect a fuss every year after FIL died but I drew a line at that and left it to DH. I mean she wanted phone calls, flowers, acknowledgement of her loss, 20 + years after he died. Very odd.
As long as DH remembers, I am fine if no one else does.

Yanbu. I send a card/present to my parents if it's a big one but don't generally acknowledge it.
Can never remember anyone else's. Getting married is a personal choice and you can't expect anyone to remember the anniversary of the day you chose to shackle yourself to someone else for eternity. It's your thing.

I don't.
But on the other hand. She's lonely. And it's a nice memory for her. So why not help her remember it fondly. It's hard being alone.

Big anniversaries, yes. My parents have always been clear that it's "their" day, and don't expect anything from anyone else.

DH's always bought his parents cards and presents - he once said because them being together led to him, which made me a bit

I don't expect my kids to know ours. Or ever celebrate it.