Daughter filthy at nursery

[Cannyapper]

I love our nursery in lots of ways. My LO comes home absolutely filthy though- like, old, caked, glue like snot plastered across her face, clothes caked in mud, tops ruined with paint etc etc. I don't want to complain, but also don't like the thought that no-one has wiped her nose all day! She has a load of spare clothes and bibs there too?! Basically, I don't want to sound precious and ruin the relationship with the nursery. Equally, does it show a lack of care? For context, I know they'll get dirty and I don't care about clothes getting really dirty- just, don't like the thought of her being in seriously dirty clothes all day. AIBU to raise it with nursery basically?

I see dirty clothes as the sign of a good day so that wouldn't bother me at all.

But I wouldn't be happy about a filthy face - especially caked on snot.

I would not be happy about a child being left caked in snot/not having their nose wiped all day - a quick wipe of a dirty face isn’t difficult. But the paint, mud and glue mean she has spent the day elbows deep in lots of creative and fun activities - which can only be a good thing.

If I were you, I’d ask them to try to keep her face, especially her nose, clean, but I’d send her in in clothes that you are happy for her to get dirty. Stains and dirt aren’t the end of the world, in my opinion.

Dirty clothes, not an issue - means they've had fun.

I'd be worried if they weren't wiping their faces when snotty and after eating etc.

I agree completely with@ifellintoarabbithole , dirty clothes are the sign of a good time, dirty face should be given a quick wipe.

As everyone else. When DD was at nursery I loved that sometimes I would go to collect her and find her and her friends basically sat in a hole in the ground, completely filthy and very happy.

But yeah they could wipe their nose once in a while.

Dirty child has usually had an awesome day.

And that's what washing machines are for.

I feel like I overemphasised the clothes. It was less that I'm worried about dirty clothes- I completely agree, shows adventures etc. Was just wondering if it shows a slackness not to change her into spares when she's totally, totally filthy? Thank you for the perspectives. Would you just balls out complain about the snot, or is there another way?

Again l wouldn't worry about the clothes but no to a dirty face. I wonder what kind of staff would not clean a child's face knowing their parent was about to arrive to fetch them ..not to talk of not cleaning her little nose all day. If l worked in a creche l would clean all faces just before pick up just to have them nice for their parents. Not bothering to do that is bad..in my book.
My gd was in a creche and had a dirty face each time she was collected and her dm had to ask specifically a few times that her face be cleaned. They eventually got the message. It's just basic care.

Thank you for this. I think that too.

Snot covered face and unclean skin especially face and hands I would straight up raise. The clothes I wouldn't see as an issue because most parents would be annoyed if they were changed from dirty clothes into a second set of clothes to get dirty again. Change of clothes I would see as for hygiene issues. Toilet accidents or leakages. You could ask about changing her before she comes home if you wanted but it might disrupt her routine. Just send her in play clothes

In our nursery we change clothes throughout the day if we've had water play as obviously don't want children left in wet clothes, we then change all dirty clothes after tea when we do last nappy. Hands and faces are washed before and after each meal and in-between if needed. Point out to them that he has a snotty nose and can they keep on top off wiping it, no idea how they can miss a snotty nose and my child coming home covered in a snotty face would annoy me too.

I would never send a child home with a snotty face. (I work with nursery aged children)
A bit grubby (and possibly with a layer of flour or playdough etc depending on activities ) but with clean hands, clean face, and clean nappy if still in nappies... basic care!

Good point about the change of clothes. Thank you. Didn't consider that

DD's nursery was OBSESSED with cleanliness of the environment but not the children. I knew someone who worked there and she knew that was the case (and complained about the constant cleaning). I once patted DD's head on pick-up and drew it away horrified, caked wet sand in her hair. She'd had a great day.

The snot though, just no. Definitely mention it.

I would be happy, no. Not with a snotty and dirty face and hands. It smacks of neglect. What else aren’t they bothering to do would be my next thought.

dirty clothes - it's supposed to be like that!

snotty nose - I expect if to be wiped, or depending on age encouraged to wipe themselves, regularly. but not as much as you would at home.

My nursery usually change my little ones clothes before pick up as they do a nappy change then. They do each child one at a time so by the time the others are done the new clothes might be slightly dirty but not as much. I don't know how you could ask them to do that though without sounding a bit precious if they don't already do it.

The nose thing annoys me too though, happens sometimes but usually they do wipe it.

My children’s nursery only change their clothes if there’s a toileting incident or they get wet from water play. My son regularly comes home with sand and glitter all over him, it’s even in his nappy. I would be having a word about the dirty face though, I’d probably say something along the lines of “hey, dc’s face has been getting a little sore lately with the cold weather so do you mind keeping it clean and dry please”

My son used to come home filthy and would be in tears as soon as I got him. I thought he was fine and the tears were just a burst of emotion, he was between 2-2.5 when he was there. Turns out he loves the process of getting messy through play but prefers to be in clean clothes as soon as can be. He now goes to a different preschool and is much better at communicating his needs so he can go through lots of clothes in his sessions lol but he's much happier

As an ex Nursery Nurse ,We would always clean hands and face before Snack ,Lunch and Tea .Thats just basic hygeine I think.I would raise this ASAP.At my Nursery Children would have a change of clothes after messy play .Afternoons would be colouring and so on .Would defo point this out too

I would worry about a very dirty face and very dirty hands but not the clothes - it takes time to change a roomful and I’d rather the staff were doing something else with them , like reading a story at the end of the day , than sprucing them up to send them home

Dirty clothes I'd be happy with - looks like they are having fun.

Snot on face needs wiping, just casually mention your daughter is a bit snuffly and can they keep on top of wiping her face please

Ofsted downgraded a local childminder for wiping a toddler's nose during an inspection. She wasn't promoting his independence, apparently.

So if the nursery staff are not wiping faces, it's because they've been told not to do it.

My DS always comes home from nursery covered in pen, paint, sand etc. This is all fine, I send him in clothes that I don't mind getting ruined.

I would (and have) raised with nursery before about wiped noses, wiped mouths. I know they also work with the children on looking after themselves (hands washed before eating/after toilet) and they have a so called hygiene station for them to use.

So I absolutely would raise that point with them.

So if the nursery staff are not wiping faces, it's because they've been told not to do it

This is absolute rubbish. With toddlers you might offer a tissue and encourage them to try themselves but you would absolutely do it for them if they couldn’t. It’s basic care.