Daughter filthy at nursery

[Cannyapper]

I love our nursery in lots of ways. My LO comes home absolutely filthy though- like, old, caked, glue like snot plastered across her face, clothes caked in mud, tops ruined with paint etc etc. I don't want to complain, but also don't like the thought that no-one has wiped her nose all day! She has a load of spare clothes and bibs there too?! Basically, I don't want to sound precious and ruin the relationship with the nursery. Equally, does it show a lack of care? For context, I know they'll get dirty and I don't care about clothes getting really dirty- just, don't like the thought of her being in seriously dirty clothes all day. AIBU to raise it with nursery basically?

I'd expect clothes changes if wet and it's cold weather, no?

Well, you tell that to Ofsted, then. She's not the only childminder to be pulled up for it.

How old is she? I just ask because my dgd is 2 and has days when she doesn't want to fussed over - face wiped etc. Could this be the problem- she objected or she wanted to do it herself ( but smeared it instead ) and they thought we'll just leave it and try again later.

Dirty clothes are a sign of a good active day surely. ( See above for why they've not been changed.) Both dirt on clothes and snotty face may have happened at any time so may well not have been like that all day.

Is she happy there? If yes, leave it.

How old is your LO?

I ask because we just had an ofsted inspection and were 'told off' for helping a 22nd th old to wipe her nose. Said child had tried but spread it around so I got a wipe and cleaned her again and it's actually written in the report that we don't encourage independent nose wiping.

@Tanith It’s very likely the nursery are just being a bit shit though. Even if Ofstead said don’t wipe noses, when they aren’t there you wouldn’t just allow a child to go home caked in snot would you.

Ive been an Early years manager for years and not once had Ofstead mention anything about that.

What do the other kids look like at pick up time?

I would be concerned about the snot and if she's the only one being allowed to get into a state.

It's not clear who you're replying to, OP. Click on the 3 dots and select Quote to reply to the person.

I work in a nursery, nose caked in snot absolutely not that's disgusting, clothes I would change if really dirty or wet.

Gees people sure are fixated on the clothes.....I agree with your point that it suggests a slap dash approach to their care like they haven't bothered to put on an apron, have allowed them to get muddy instead of asking for outdoor clothes and boots. Dirty hands n face, filthy ruined clothes would piss me off after a week. My child's nursery 20 years ago required an arm's in apron for craft activities. An outdoor all in one suit and Welly boots and shoes to ne taken off at the door and changed into slippers. This kept the children AND the nursery clean. To have the children constantly in a mess suggests a lack of general care.

My son regularly comes home with sand and glitter all over him, it’s even in his nappy.

I would not be happy finding sand and glitter in a child’s nappy regularly.

I think it’s fair to ask your child to come home with clean (or cleanish) face and hands.

I have absolutely no problem with DD3 wrecking her clothes, but i expect her to be changed into clean ones. Sometimes she has several changes in a day!

And the face wiping would bother me. Our nursery promote personal hygiene and they make the children wash hands and faces and brush their teeth after lunch. I would discuss this with them for sure.

My daughters nursery was the same, didn’t take me long to figure out her nursery clothes were just nursery clothes.

Gave up stain removing and started sending in her in clean but stained clothes!

Sign of a good day to me :)

Can you put a packet of tissues or baby wipes in her pocket for her to access?

I had exactly this with DD when she was in nursery, and like PP I didn't mind her being muddy, or painty, or gluey (though it was annoying to ruin so many clothes).

But I REALLY objected to snot.

So I told them very straight "I don't want to see DD come home with a snotty face".

I didn't elaborate, just left it hanging there as a statement - and I'm not usually the type of make a fuss. She never came home with a snotty face again.

Snot all over face etc...I'd raise with nursery...clothes covered in paint mud etc....as long as not wet... totally ok and shows child having a good time

Mud/paint on clothes- love it.
Cold/wet/soiled/filthy clothes and a dirty face? Absolutely not. Nursery staff always used to say "we don't have time" to me, I worked in a nursery, there's all the time in the world to make sure children aren't covered in snot

As someone who works in a nursery and currently has a 3 year old coming home covered in paint/mud everyday from a different nursery, its a sign of a good day. Pick out some clothes you don't like as much/stained but clean clothes and have them as nursery clothes. She's exploring, she's learning all the time and she's enjoying it. We would change for wet clothes ie. water tray or any accidents. Paint or a bit of mud is all part of the learning process

I don't think you need to make a big deal out of it if you're happy with the nursery and the staff otherwise. If it's happened a few times I'd just mention it in passing to the staff at drop off that she's had a bit of a runny nose recently and you've noticed it at pick up a few times and you'd appreciate it if they would give her face a wipe when they notice it's dirty or her nose has run.

If you've asked causally a few times and it's still happening then I'd probably be a lot more direct in how you ask.

I work in a preschool as admin (was previously a nanny) and see lots of the kids covered in all sorts, yes the staff could change them but there’s limited staff per child, it all takes time and takes away from activities the children are doing and they will prob just go and get dirty straight away again. Agree though that the faces should be wiped so maybe just say something like could you keep an eye on her nose/food on face as her skin is sensitive and gets easily irritated, she has wipes/tissues in her bag etc. If that doesn’t work then an email to the manager just emphasising it. If she was soaking wet as nappy not changed/ has wet self then I would def complain as that’s neglectful. Does she have an all in one waterproof and wellies she can take in? That way at least she’s clean/dry when out in the garden. Most nurseries/preschools encourage this

Overall dirtiness is fine, but caked on snot is not. They can be covered in mud, but wipe the nose! That's neglect IMO and I would raise the issue.

@FlowerTink
Do you leave children with snot covered faces ?

Thanks for the advice all. Spoke to them and they were lovely. All sorted 🙂👍

Sorry thought I'd typed this bit out - faces get wiped as needed with snot/cleaned after snack or lunch, same for hands. This should be brought up yes, we would always check they are clean that way.

I voted YABU. My boy comes home filthy but also I pack loads of clothes. Everyday without fail I have multiple sets of clothes to wash in his bag and the clothed he comes home in still look like ones he's been in all day!