Is a six year age gap between siblings too much?

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Currently thinking about TTC but our oldest is going to be five so if we're lucky we'll end up with a six year age gap between DS and the little one. Is this too much of an age gap? DH thinks we've left it too late. I myself had a nine year gap with my brother and honestly we've never been close. Is 6 yrs age gap just too big for them to be friends?

There's 8 years between ds1 &2 and 8 years between ds 2 & 3

Ds1 and 2 weren't particularly friends as children but have become really close since ds2 became a teen

Ds2 and 3 have always been really close and when ds2 is home from uni he spends most of his time with ds3 who is now 12

No - not too big. Tbh I think it's nice having slightly bigger gaps than the norm anyway - i find the standard 2 children and 2/3 years between them a bit boring and vanilla!

Honestly, it doesn’t matter. The only reason to have a second child is because you want one 100%. Not for a friend for your other child.

My sister and I had 3 years apart and sadly were never close… there’s 12 years between a couple of my daughters and they have always been super close and very sisterly. Now adults and still are. I’ve been no contact with my sister for years.
Families are unique, you’ve no idea beforehand what will happen.

6 year gap between youngest dc. Still incredibly close at 15 and 9. Shared a room by choice until 11 and 5...

My sister and I have 6 years and we were always in different stages in life until adulthood. Now it doesn't really matter.

The friends who've decided to have all their children every couple of years definitely seem the most strung out, which affects all children. And from my own experience of a two-academic year gap was that it was a PITA having a sister whose exams were always a bigger deal than mine.

At the end of the day you can't have a child hoping that they'll be friends, regardless of age gap.

So have a child if you want to do it. Not because of any imagined relationship between the children.

Oh and there's 22 months between ds3 and ds4 and they don't get on at all. Although I'm hoping that changes as they get older

There’s 8 years between my DC, they’re very close.

There are 7 years between me and my brother and we're really close. I was devoted to him when I was little!

DD1 was 6.5 when DD2 was born. They’re 9 and nearly 3 now and DD2 calls DD1 her best friend. DD1 adores DD2. It was great because she was able to be independent when DD2 was born and loved being treated like a big girl.

There are downsides in that their needs are different but we’ve not found too many. I’m pregnant with DC3 and, all being well, there will be a 10y and 3.5y gap between them.

I’m 8 years older than my sister, we didn’t play together loads as kids but get on well
now- been for a wander and lunch in IEKA today!

Would you actually chose not to have another child because they might not end up friends with a sibling? There's 2 years between my sister and I, and she made my life hell growing up.

Mine have almost exactly 6 years between them. There has been pros and cons and I did worry a bit but on the whole it's fine.

No guarantees it would've been better with a smaller age gap. That they would've played together more or had more in common. I had problems conceiving dc2 so I mostly feel lucky to have them.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

There's six years between me and my brother and ten years between me and my sister (I'm the youngest). It was totally fine! I actually liked it a lot.

It's obviously different from having siblings who are really close to you in age, but it's not worse, just different. Personally it worked well for me.

I think parents sometimes have an unrealistic notion of how much they can control the sibling dynamic. You can have two children close in age and find that they absolutely loathe each other. Equally you can have two siblings a decade apart and find that they have a lovely relationship - just because they're not playing together and are at different stages, that doesn't necessarily mean they won't be close. So I wouldn't worry about it.

Siblings Ds 9 Db 7 me 5 when little sis was born. As kids us 3 older ones would occasionally play together with friends - street games etc but we were not that close even though there's 2 yrs between each if us. However when younger sister came along we all loved her and spent time with her in a caring sibling relationship rather than friends.
Now we are all adults we are much closer than we ever were as kids.

No age gap is too big.

Definitely not ‘too big’. But it’s probably too big to expect them to have loads in common and play together all the time as they’ll be at very different stages. They can still love each other though and as adults it doesn’t really matter. It does affect what you can do as a family though.

There is a 15 month age gap between my sister and I. We played together. She bullied me mercilessly and sibling rivalry was and still is awful.

Would you really want a 6 year old and a 12 year old? Very different stages.

Eight years between my two daughters.. always been close. Age 38 and 30 now and best friends. I have four sisters ..5 years between me and youngest and we are best friends. Every family is different.

6 between mine and they're not especially close, but they're also chalk and cheese personality wise. I actually wonder if there had been a smaller age gap if there would have been real clashes - instead they just have individual orbits and come together quite happily from time to time.

Yes, it’s too big. You will struggle to find many things a 10 year old and a 4 year old will want to do together. It’s two completely different stages.

No! All families are different. There's a thread about age gaps every day on MN which always surprises me. Most people can't exactly choose age gaps anyway as who can predict exactly when you will conceive and carry a healthy pregnancy? I know families with small gaps and families with large gaps. In the past people generally had a lot more children so even with small gaps, gaps between eldest kids and youngest kids were large. Age gaps also don't determine sibling relationships at all.

So it's up to you and your circumstances really.

6 years between my two. It feels big at different ages, so one at 14 and one at 20 seemed huge but it is closing as the youngest gets older. They have always been very close and they message each other daily. It has worked for us and younger ds now enjoys having us all to himself since elder ds went to uni.

There are 11 years between mine