Is a six year age gap between siblings too much?

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Currently thinking about TTC but our oldest is going to be five so if we're lucky we'll end up with a six year age gap between DS and the little one. Is this too much of an age gap? DH thinks we've left it too late. I myself had a nine year gap with my brother and honestly we've never been close. Is 6 yrs age gap just too big for them to be friends?

Ten years between my eldest DD and my middle DD, they are incredibly close. They went to festivals etc and still go on holiday together, they are planning their 30/40th. My youngest DD is eighteen months younger than my middle DD and they are completely different people so don't mix. I used to be envious of big families but then knew so many siblings who don't bother with each other. I've seen parents ruin friendships because they want their children/SC to be friends and they just don't want to be.

There's a six year gap between me and my brother and although (from what I recall) he's a decent enough bloke, I left home when he was 12 and we were never close. I went NC with my family a long time ago.

9 years between mine. I had the toddler and teenage phase at the same time. They get on fine. Not really struggled to find things they both like to do because of the kind of hobbies we have.

I could never have done 2 children close in age. I’m still frazzled from the first child 😂

Sorry if this is stating the obvious but there's no direct correlation between age gap and whether children get on, that's ridiculously simplistic and what other people think isn't going to make a jot of difference to how your children will get on

Maybe it depends on the circles you move in but I do t think a 6 year gap is unusual

6 years between ds1 & ds2
Ds2 has just turned one and they are so close it's lovely to see
Ds1 is obsessed with his baby brother. He is big enough to not be jealous as they're just at different life stages but that can be a negative.
Days out can be more diifficult because they're at different abilities/skill - for example little DC wants to go on the baby swings and needs me with him at all times, but dc1 wants to go on the seperate big playground and wants me to be with him and I can't be in two places at once. If DH is with me we tend to have to split up and each go with a child to do something and then join back, rather than just staying together.
Saying that I love that dc1 is old enough amuse himself if I'm changing dc2's nappy for instance, and he's more independent. He's also at school so dc2 gets alot of individual attention.
I think I personally would have found a smaller age gap much harder and I would do it this way again.
I want to have a dc3 and I'm scared of the idea of a smaller age gap 😂

I have a 5 year gap between my 2 youngest and it's lovely

There is 8 years between my twin and I and our older sister. My older sis is a nurturing type and helped my mum look after us and kind of became like a second mum when we were younger (my mum did a lot of shift work as a care worker) but now I find her to be a great support and confidante, as does my twin.

I'm currently 37 weeks pregnant and have an 8 year old daughter and have no worries about these 2 getting along. The way she is with my bump and talking to her little bro in there makes my heart melt. Although ask me if it's the same in a month or two!

There's 6 years between me and my sister, and 6 years between her and the next sister.

We're all great friends

To add to the chorus: six years between DS and DD (currently 14 and 8) and they adore each other.

I think its purely dow.n to the individual children. Me and my older sister - 5 year gap, quite close as adults, not as kids. My younger brother and 1 - 7 year gap, not close as adults or children. Maybe because im female with children and hes a man child that still lives at home, so at different stages in life maybe the issue. But who knows.

My farher is oldest of 4, all boys, within 6 years of each other. 2nd born not interested in a relationship with any of them 🤷🏼‍♀️ nothing has happened to cause a fall out just different strokes for different folks.

Have a second if you want one, dont base a decision on something no one has any control over.

It’s not about them getting on but more them doing totally different things. They will be at totally different stages and your time will be split as if two only children. That doesn’t mean they won’t love eachother and get on.

Age gaps mean nothing, I have 4 younger siblings

DB 1= 18 months age gap and we never really got along (maybe the first 2-3 years of our life were about fine, and then we started despising each other and still very much do almost 3 decades later, as we are the total opposite of each other.) We are now both adults and no contact.

DB2= 6 years gap, and I call him my favorite sibling (a close call with DB3) as he is the most similar in personality. Honestly I can’t recall how close we were as kids, I think he was by default closer to my brother (a 4 year gap) but we always got along just fine as he is a very easy going person who just gets along with everyone and go with the flow. We live in different country and have different lives but are as close as we can about be under the circumstances.

DB3= 12 years gap. He is the sibling with whom I actually have the most memories as I was older when he was born and liked to look after him, due to the gap, we definitely weren’t close “friends” as kids as completely different lives but were close and are still very close now. He is actually the sibling I see most and usually spoilt and see the most and do think I will maintain the closeness as years keep going by (he is a late teenager).

Dsis 4= 25 years gap, I was well into adulthood when she was born and she is still obviously very young so completely different bond to the other siblings with whom I, at some point, shared a roof with, but we are decently close and I treat her more like a little niece than a sister and due to the age gap I do tend to spoil her and she does tend to look up to me. That being said we live in completely different countries and have completely different lives so our contacts are limited to a few times a year.

As you can see, it’s not the age gap that define the closeness; it’s very much personality. DB2 could have been born any year and I am pretty sure we would be close as he is someone I truly enjoy and appreciate as a human (irrelevant of family links) DB1 on the other hand could have been born 6, 12, or 25 years later and I probably would still be no or low contact as he is someone I simply don’t enjoy and really can’t relate to/find massively toxic.

Not everyone plans to have a close age gap Jesus Christ😂

My kids have an 11 month age gap and there really is no guarantee that they’ll be close or best of friends because of this.

My sister and I have a 9 year age gap, love her to bits! Have a second child if you want too, not to give a friend to your first child

9 years between DB and myself and we are very close. Eighteen months between each of my 3 DC and they are also close. It is what you make it I think.

We have gap of 13 years. No problems

I have varying age gaps between mine.

6 years between my girls and all good so far. They're 9 and 2 right now. I would have liked a smaller age gap but we had to wait to ttc due to finances.

They really love each other and play together. Older one is also helpful which is a god send. For example she cab entertain her whilst I make dinner if little one is in a needy mood.

I had a 5.5 year gap between my brother and I and we don’t really get on. We’re very different people and always have been. I see him a few times a year when he visits my parents (he lives 2.5hours away now).

I have 3 DS.

There’s an almost 6 year gap between DS1- DS2. And then another big gap between DS2-DS3 of 6.5years.

They all get on well. DS3 and DS1 adore each other- and now DS1 is away at uni when he comes back he makes a huge effort with DS3, who worships him. Does lots of school pick ups/takes him off to the shops to get sweets/has the patience to play with him etc.

DS1 and 2 get on well, although they’re v different personalities. They are able to do stereotypical teen boy stuff together eg playing ps4 etc. And DS2 visited DS1 recently at uni and felt v grown up. DS1 really went out of his way to ensure he had a good weekend and show him the sights, as it were.

DS 2 and 3 get on most of the time. Odd squabbles that I’d expect most siblings to have, eg older one complaining little ones annoying etc.

The thing that was a little more tricky, but certainly not impossible, was organising days out etc that suit both ages. But then we could have had the same with DS1 and 2 even if they were closer- both had/have time consuming hobbies that were very different and no interest in the other siblings sport, so our weekends were split ferrying them about to different activities.

We had big gaps because we couldn’t afford DS2 any earlier, and we weren’t sure about whether to have DC3 or not, then we had a rough patch in our marriage when DS2 was 4 and wanted to be sure everything was going to work out between us before adding another child (It did and we’re all happy).

15 years between me and my youngest brother. We've always been very close - when he was a small child and now as adults.

I have 6 between my two. Best thing I ever did.

Your boys sound lovely

Well, do you want a second child?

That should be your main question to be honest, not whether or not they will be a friend for your first child. There's never any guarantees about that regardless of age.

14 years btwn mine

Now they're both (technically) adults, they get on great

I don't think it matters at all, if you want another child, go for it

I have a six year gap between me and my younger sister. I was quite maternal towards her rather than being a playmate, I would take her out on trips around town when she was 6 and I was 12. We did family stuff days out together but out lives were a bit separate. We went to the same primary and secondary schools but never at the same time. I moved out at age 18 and never lived at home again, so she was more like an only child from the age of 12. As adults we get on OK, though she falls into a different "generation" (millenial) to me and I do sense a difference in our attitudes and values.