Is a six year age gap between siblings too much?

[gfhgft]

Currently thinking about TTC but our oldest is going to be five so if we're lucky we'll end up with a six year age gap between DS and the little one. Is this too much of an age gap? DH thinks we've left it too late. I myself had a nine year gap with my brother and honestly we've never been close. Is 6 yrs age gap just too big for them to be friends?

There are 9 years between me and my younger sibling.

I might have liked one closer in age to me (although we may have argued more, who knows?)

But I would much rather my younger sibling existed than didn't!

We have a different type of relationship than we would have if we were closer in age. There's more 'big sisterly advice' from me, and protectiveness. But we are extremely close and there is a huge amount of love between us.

No not at all. There are 7 yes between my sister and me and we are very close. I am closer in age to my brother and we arent particularly close. Closer in age siblings tend to fight more ime. But really age gap is irrelevant, whether siblings get on is down to personality.

I'd say yes, it's too long. There was a 6 year age gap between me and my brother who is 5 years 51 weeks older. He was more of a third parent to me than a sibling. We were never at the same school, neither primary nor secondary. When he was a teenager I was a junior, when I became a teenager, he'd left school and was a working adult. We were never "compatible" i.e. doing the same things at the same time. We had nothing in common (obv being different sexes didn't help), and never really spent time together in childhood. As a result, we've never been close as adults, must be a few years since we met in person, maybe speak once or twice a year on the phone, maybe the odd email/text.

I have 3 years between dc1 and dc2, then 6 years between dc2 and dc3.

dc1&2 are close, and dc2&3 are very close. Dc1&3 look out and care for each other, but not on the same wavelength like dc2&3.

There is 5.5 years between me and my closest sibling, and he is M. So - I suppose that made our childhood slightly unusual, but now we are close enough.

Interestingly, my DMum was the middle of 3 children and her older and younger siblings were both boys. 5 year gaps on either side. They were born in the 1920s and 1930s. They were incredibly close but perhaps their common factor was their over-bearing mother.

I think 6 years is fine OP. It might not be as easy (in terms of holidays and family activities and juggling everyone's needs) but it's not a huge age gap and I definitely don't think you left it too late!

I wouldn't leave it much longer. There are 8 years between me and my sister and it's not a good age gap. We grew up almost as only children and have never been close,

Def not too big an age gap!

DD had to wait until she was 6 before she became a big sister but when I got pregnant with DS1 she was just so excited. She desperately wanted a baby brother and was ecstatic when he arrived! We had 3 more boys after him and she’s a very proud big sister to them all (and a massive help to me - especially given that DS3 and DS4 are twins!).

It depends what you mean - they might still be close as they might get on well but the day to day things they enjoy will be different. Now the older one can to do bigger trips/holidays you’ll have a baby in tow, when second one starts to want to do soft play the other will be too old for it etc, but life will probably be easier than with a short gap as the older one can fend for themselves already. It’s more about you really and what you want!

7 years between my sons & they are really close now (both in their 20's). They went through the bossy older & annoying younger sibling phase but I've seen that with all age gaps tbh.

There's a 20 year gap between my eldest and youngest daughters and they are wonderfully close. They love spending time together, girlie days out, always giggling. Eldest is 30, youngest is 10. They adore each other.

Does it really matter? There was a 14 month age gap between my sister and I, and we really don't get on well. Whereas there was a 9 1/2 year gap between DD and DS, and they've always been inseparable.

My mum was the youngest and there was 6 years between her and the next youngest. Then even more between her and the eldest 3. As an adult she got on well with the 2 nearest in age. Not so well with the eldest 2, but that was more a personality clash. You're an adult for a long time.

there Isn’t a too big an age gap. Every age works well for different things.
theres 9yrs between me and my sister, I have two boys with 3.5yrs between, and #3 on the way, will be 9.5yrs between DS1 and DS3, and 6yrs between DS2 and DS3

There's the magical 2.5 years between my sister and I. We don't get on at all. We didn't get on as children and now as adults we only ever see each other at Christmas and family occasions.

Such a strange comment. Who organises their family planning to ensure they have a 'quirky and different' larger age gap 😂

I think 6yrs is fine OP, it doesn't even seem like a particularly big gap. If you want to have another child I would go for it!

There's no guarantee they'll be friends anyway! There's a 3 year gap between me and my brother and he didn't really get on and not close now. We're just very different people, no fallings out or anything.

my 14 year old and 20 year old are really good friends :)

I have a 24 year old, a 30 year old and a 36 year old, no it’s not a too big of an age gap, worked out great for us!

There's no such thing as a right or wrong age gap and many factors will determine whether they get on or not and age is usually the least important one. I have a twin brother and we weren't close at all growing up and barely speak now. My husband on the other hand is nearly six years older than his brother, they've always been very close, speak every day and go on holiday etc together.

I find automatic assumption that you won't be able to do family days together or activities together because of an age gap a ridiculous suggestion. My husband and his brother did loads together as a family growing up such as football, gigs etc. Me and my twin hardly did any of the same activities as we had such different interests!

If you want to try for a second baby then go for it. I don't think it's "too big" at all and having kids close together is no guarantee that they'll want to do the same things at the same time anyway.

Besides I always think having kids is a lifetime kind of thing. There's 12 years between me and my brother and we've always been really close - not in the sense of sharing a childhood together, but we've always got on well, we're friends as adults, and our kids get on really well too.

16 years between me and my youngest sibling and they're my best mate, we're very close, so wouldn't say there's such a thing as too big of a gap, it's completely dependent on their personalities. You could have two children a couple of years apart, it won't necessarily mean they're close.

6 years between my 2, it made it really easy for me. 6 year old was well settled at school, and was big enough to be a real help, with caring for baby brother, fetching nappies etc. They were at different stages, but I didn't have the problem of 2 toddlers needing attention at once. 6 year old had all my attention until brother came along, but was at school then, so I could give lots of attention to little one.
It wasn't planned, I had a couple of miscarriages between the 2, but it worked so well!

Pros and cons but your siblings might not like each other anyway. There are many happy and unhappy families with big and small gaps. Many other variables affect it, as well and chance.

My daughters are 6 years apart and adore each other. Age gaps mean nothing.

Six years isn't particularly big. But during the best of family times, holidays, days out, doing fun things together, there's a big difference between having a 10 and a 16 year old for example.
Mine are young adults now but I'm always glad we had less than 2.5 years between DC. It made doing things together all through their childhood so much easier.
Having said that, if it was six years or not at all I'd go six years.