Is a six year age gap between siblings too much?

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Currently thinking about TTC but our oldest is going to be five so if we're lucky we'll end up with a six year age gap between DS and the little one. Is this too much of an age gap? DH thinks we've left it too late. I myself had a nine year gap with my brother and honestly we've never been close. Is 6 yrs age gap just too big for them to be friends?

I had my kids close together - the eldest was 4 when the 3rd was born. Now eldest is 9, and has a half sister who is 2 at her dads house, and they ADORE each other. Her little sister idolises her, and my eldest loves being a grown up girl. And that's a 7 year gap. If you want it, have a second kid. Everything else will fall into place.

5 years between me and my brother and we're incredibly close, I'd consider him pretty much a best friend. Only time we weren't like two peas was when I'd hit the early teen years and he was still in primary, although I was still very protective of him, we just didn't really hang out. But asides from that no qualms. I have a LO and am considering a 4/5 year age gap for our next so I'd say don't worry!

I have 2 siblings, one is 9 years older and the other one is 10 years older. Of course growing up we were at different stages but nowadays the two of them aren’t super close and I am close with the oldest one (we speak often & visit each other when possible even with me living in a different country) but not the middle one. It really could go either way and you won’t know even with a small age gap, in my opinion. I would say, if you and DH want another child (not for the sibling, but for you), go for it!

I’m nearly 50 and my sister who is 7 year’s younger is my best friend in the world. Weren’t super close as kids as had a sibling in between and I guess age difference was bigger then but still loved having her about most of the time. Now, since adulthood very close!

I have a 2 year gap and then a 7 and 5 year gap with the baby. My older 2 boys adore their little sister- no jealousy- they love teaching her words to walk etc. it worked beautifully

I have a 13 year old and an almost 10 year old, they both adore their new baby brother. They also have very young cousins and all play together so well. I think it depends more on personality and friendliness of kids rather than ages.

There's a six year age gap between me and my brothers (twins)
We're close as adults, they're now early twenties and I enjoy thier company and also loved them as young children, although we didn't really play imaginative games together or anything as children as the age gap was too significant for that.
The main consideration should be if you want another baby and if you do, the gap will be what it is.

I have a 10 year age gap with a sibling and she's the one I'm closest too.

Dd6 and baby have 6 years and they love each other just fine and play fine too. Don't worry it works out.

There's 7 years between me and my sibling, we were always close. 12 years between DH and his, close as adults.

I have plenty of friends that had 2 year age gaps hoping the kids would be friends and they downright can't stand each other, plus parenting 2 under 2 was a misery.

I think slightly larger age gaps can prevent sibling rivalry and also are easier on parents who don't have two kids in nappies etc.

At age 6, your child should hit certain development milestones. Look for these as a guide to your child's development. car games

Depends on the children. My niece is 18 and her brother is 12. Niece has just started college and nephew has started secondary school.

They have never been close. Nephew is more like an only child to be honest. He is always with my sister or his cousin who is the same age. Niece and nephew have nothing in common and to be honest they have never had a relationship.

My sister is seven years younger than me. We got on but I was more of a mother figure to her. I treated her like my own child and not a sibling.

18 months between myself and my other sister. We had a typical sibling relationship growing up. We weren't particularly close but would always be there for each other if anything went wrong.

I'm closer now to my sister who is closer to me in age. The age gap with my youngest sister started to take a toll on me to be honest. I was parenting her and had my own young children too.

6 years between me and my adult sister. She resented me a lot as a child and was pretty mean. (I only really remember age 6+)

We were never at the same life stage , as adults we got a bit closer in our 20's/30's. But that's drifted now we are 40's/50's.

I basically felt like an only child growing up with a big sister who was a bully.

It’s a very large and awkward gap, especially if they’re different sexes. It’s everything from whether they get on to what day trips you can go on e.g a 12 year old will want to go to Alton Towers whilst a 6 year old will want the local zoo or the park. Also, you’re starting right again from the beginning, do you even want that?

I have a 5 1/2 year age gap between mine and don't regret it at all. Now nearly 14 and 8. They adore each other. The eldest does struggle with needing space from the youngest sometimes but other than that they are close. I think in some ways it's quite good for avoiding sibling rivalry that they are so different they don't expect to be treated exactly the same. They youngest knows he can't do everything the oldest does.

We do of course have to do things separately with them sometimes, but I disagree with pp who have said you can't find things they'll both enjoy. That's down to personalities of course, but they both enjoy theme parks, zoos, trampoline parks, beaches, board games, playing on the switch and just about find some films and TV they can both do. When they were younger there were stages where they enjoyed Lego or train sets together. Yes the eldest does end up doing a lot of the making up games for the youngest etc and needs time away from it but I think she enjoys the excuse to still 'play' sometimes because she's 'looking after her brother'.

It was much less stressful for me when he was little than chasing 2 toddlers around as well!

There are of course downsides - It is a bit harder to find things you all want to do occasionally, but I expect that happens with different personalities too. I suspect eldest gets less long walks / bike rides than age would if we weren't allowing for littler legs, but we can always take kids out separately if needed. We also find we don't have as many other families to hang out with where both kids will happily have someone to play with as those we know with 2 year gaps where sibling often in same class as siblings friends but to be honest we are pretty introverted so who knows if we'd have got friendly with those families anyway!

My mum has an 8 year gap with her brother and they are close as adults and I know she has said she is glad she has him, particularly now parents have gone. I certainly don't regret choosing a big gap over not having a second (which really was the choice, I found pregnancy and newborn stage far to hard to even consider doing it again with a toddler to look after, so it was big gap or nothing).

Do you want another child? Yes or no? The age gap is what it is and your family experience will be what it is.

Good luck with the fertility journey.

Almost 6 years between my brother and I. We always got on great and never really argued, also due to our personalities obviously, but it meant there was very little rivalry and jealousy as we were at such different stages all the time.
Also, I loved helping out and was actually helpful throughout his childhood even through to when we were older and I would babysit.
And less stressful when you have an older child who knows not to run into the road etc when trying to deal with a newborn.

We have a little age gap and a big age gap in our house. Each has its merits and disadvantages but they love each other fiercely. Each family is unique and age gap is such a small factor to consider.

My two have a 6 year age gap. It’s had a positive and negative points as I image do all age gaps. I wouldn’t have another child purely for their relationship as so siblings just don’t get along regardless of age.

It was great when DC2 was first born, DC1 doted on them, was old enough to ‘help’. We had 1:1 time with the baby when DC1 was at school.

Once DC1 got to teens, they did not get along at all! Days out were tricky as different interests etc.

DC2 has just started secondary and DC1 has just started full time work and they are starting to get along again (mostly!). DC1 looks out for DC2, DC2 has started going to DC1 for advice etc.

6.5year age gap here and it has worked beautifully. Older sister adores younger and is so caring. Younger sister idolises big sister. They obviously don't play together in the same way similar age sisters would but older DD will sit and play with younger one for ages. When younger one is napping/in bed/with other parent we do things like lego, hama beads etc with the older one which are hard to do with younger one around.
Definitely easier than having a toddler and newborn as older one is more independent and sleeps well so I'm less strung out and exhausted and consequently a better parent to them both.
I think as others have said, age gap isn't an automatic decider of how close they will be.

I'm the third of 4 children. B1 B2 G1 G2.
I'm G1. B2 is 6 years older than me. He's been my best friend, partner in crime and sparring partner all my life, through everything childhood, teens, adulthood, death of parent, divorce, babies, emigration and all the rest of it has thrown at us. We're in our 50s now. It's a great age gap, because you're never really at the sane stage, or in direct competition.

My brothers oldest is 13 and youngest is nearly 2. They dote on each other.

Gaps of over five years are associated with pregnancy and birth problems (not just because you're likely to be an older mum) (Conde-Agudelo et al, 2006). With bigger gaps, your children may be into different things so not as retro bowl close until they're much older.

7 years between my two. Glad I didn't have to battle shops with pram & toddler. They are 27 & 20 now & really good mates.

My youngest sibling is 7 years younger and I still love them to bits.